Frivolous Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 So I've been single for a good couple of years now and have done quite a lot of half interested dating. Because of this my desire to be in a relationship is questionable. However I have been seeing a girl from Poland for a few weeks now and she is really making me feel those basic connections I thought were disappearing from my life after so much unsuccessful dating. My dilemma now is that I am investing a lot of time and emotion when I don't even know if she will settle in the UK. I know there is no easy answer to this but i'm just wondering if this is a good idea and what you LS folk think about the situation Thank you!
carhill Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 Heh, one tactic I used when international dating was, if I saw we were getting along well in person and there was plenty of intimacy and/or sex involved, I floated the balloon of moving to their country and setting up shop there. This quickly separated the visa/K1 seekers from those authentically interested. So, if the lady you're seeing can apparently travel freely and visit you, enjoy that and suggest visiting her and see where that goes. As with any getting to know process, there's always some risk involved. It all depends on the parties, their synergy and tolerance of risk. Things could change at any moment. That's what life is. No guarantees, except at the end. Enjoy the ride.
Gaeta Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 Ask her. I date a lot of foreigners and my first questions to them is: 1. What is your status in this country 2. Do you plan on going back 3. Do you plan on retiring here or there It's normal to ask. Nothing touchy about this. 1
Author Frivolous Posted August 15, 2015 Author Posted August 15, 2015 Thank you both for the replies! That's a very practical way to look at it and fortunately I don't have to worry about visa issues etc as she's Polish/European so can live here without restriction. We actually got talking today which is why i'm thinking more about the situation. We have been speaking everyday and have spent 3 whole days together on weekend day trips on top of numerous casual meetups on weekdays. I never even used to spend this much time together with my last GF! So on the drive home from our trip today I asked about her plans. She said she intends to stay in the UK but I feel there is a lot of risk as she has only been here for a few months and lives with family. She will have to find a job , a place to live and settle in to UK life. Plus she owns an apartment and a job offer to go back to at anytime! Basically it feels like one big risk for me so don't know how i should play it. I know any new relationship comes with risk but i'm not sure if i should spend so much time with her and get too attached?
carhill Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 She has her own place back in Poland? Cool. IMO, I'd date her like any other local. Keep showing up until someone says no.
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