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Why would ex lie about the reason of break up?

Happines

By Happines
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Happines Established Member

Happines

Posted
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Hi guys,

 

Firat of all I want to say thanks to this site and to you all as I found this site very helpful when going through my breakup (I posted few stories before)

 

I broke up with my ex 2 months ago due to 0 intimacy as he didn't like sex in general ever, due to him kissing girl whilst drunk in a club, due to lies and loads of other things...so u got the picture I left him due to horrible treatment and even then it was still hard...

 

So to his parents he said that I left him because he was not ready to marry and I wanted family...he never mentioned any of the bad things to them...I mean marriage thing only was small issue in our relationship and it was only an issue because he lied to me about it

 

Now in Friday I had a coffee with one person that we know in common and she asked me if there was any chance of us getting back together and I told her definitely no...and I asked her what did he tell her because i had a feeling he lied again...so to her he said that we broke up because I wanted a baby in one years time which is totally not true because I said I wanted a baby in the next 5 to 6 years because by then I will b 35...so that was a first lie...secondly he told her I argued massively with him all the time but I never shouted at him never used any bad words whilst talking to him and always tried to talk

About our issues...so I told to the girl that he cheated on and that even after I left him he was swearing to God that he never loved anyone the way hole loves me and he will do all it takes to b with me but after I went to his house after a week of leaving to pick my last bits up he didn't even let me in coz he already had another girl...

 

I am glad I left this guy because I did so much for him even when his family didn't care and all he did was use me...but it's really heartbreaking that he is telling lies about me and trying to blame all the break up on me

 

So guys why would ex lie to other people in regards to the break up ???is it not easier to say get it simply didn't work out?? Why creak such lies???

 

Thanks a lot for your answers :) xxx

JewelD Established Member

JewelD

Posted
Posted
Hi guys,

 

Firat of all I want to say thanks to this site and to you all as I found this site very helpful when going through my breakup (I posted few stories before)

 

I broke up with my ex 2 months ago due to 0 intimacy as he didn't like sex in general ever, due to him kissing girl whilst drunk in a club, due to lies and loads of other things...so u got the picture I left him due to horrible treatment and even then it was still hard...

 

So to his parents he said that I left him because he was not ready to marry and I wanted family...he never mentioned any of the bad things to them...I mean marriage thing only was small issue in our relationship and it was only an issue because he lied to me about it

 

Now in Friday I had a coffee with one person that we know in common and she asked me if there was any chance of us getting back together and I told her definitely no...and I asked her what did he tell her because i had a feeling he lied again...so to her he said that we broke up because I wanted a baby in one years time which is totally not true because I said I wanted a baby in the next 5 to 6 years because by then I will b 35...so that was a first lie...secondly he told her I argued massively with him all the time but I never shouted at him never used any bad words whilst talking to him and always tried to talk

About our issues...so I told to the girl that he cheated on and that even after I left him he was swearing to God that he never loved anyone the way hole loves me and he will do all it takes to b with me but after I went to his house after a week of leaving to pick my last bits up he didn't even let me in coz he already had another girl...

 

I am glad I left this guy because I did so much for him even when his family didn't care and all he did was use me...but it's really heartbreaking that he is telling lies about me and trying to blame all the break up on me

 

So guys why would ex lie to other people in regards to the break up ???is it not easier to say get it simply didn't work out?? Why creak such lies???

 

Thanks a lot for your answers :) xxx

 

Because nobody wants to look like a bad person, even if they are. My ex did some god awful things in our relationship. He was cheating and brought at least one of the girls to meet his family.

 

Liars love to lie. If he told the truth, people would get on his case and think he's a jerk. He's trying to save face, that's all. It doesn't matter if he's going around lying, you know the truth and that's all that matters.

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Happines Established Member

Happines

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I totally agree with what you saying but he could simply say u know it simply didn't work but instead he is trying to put all the blame on me even know I never did a single bad thing in relationship...some people are just pathological liars and they want others to feel sorry for them I guess...

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted

He's lying because it's easier to say bad things about you rather than himself. The guy is a Playa and you are well to be rid of him. Who cares if lies are his only option to make himself look good. You know the truth, so ignore him and do yourself a favor and ask people to stop talking to you about him.

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aloneinaz Established Member

aloneinaz

Posted
Posted
I totally agree with what you saying but he could simply say u know it simply didn't work but instead he is trying to put all the blame on me even know I never did a single bad thing in relationship...some people are just pathological liars and they want others to feel sorry for them I guess...

 

 

The most important thing here is you dumped him because you saw his issues. What's not important is what he's saying to others. You have to trust that these people he's talking to are not stupid. They can figure out the truth. I wouldn't waste a second worrying about that.

 

 

I think the VAST majority of people talk crap about their ex when a relationship ends. It's NEVER their fault. When my friends tell me about their last ex, TRUST ME, I'm not believing everything they are telling me.

 

 

Lastly, remember to not worry about what others think. Most people are so self involved that they forget about what people told them a day or two later.

 

 

Move on and stop wasting your time thinking about this guy.

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dkgwillow Member

dkgwillow

Posted
Posted

Nobody wants to be seen as the bad guy when things end, especially if it's been a long term relationship and you share friends and have become a part of each other's families. Even if they aren't lying to everyone else, they could still be lying to themselves about the reasons for the break up because they can't or won't take on any guilt or responsibility. My ex just dumped me after nearly 2 years and the only thing he said was he was having head aches and not sleeping well, which was the same symptoms he had when he wanted out of his marriage to his ex-wife. He said he was sick for months, lost tons of weight and so on and couldn't go through that again. I asked if I'd done anything or changed in any way, or had he just stopped loving me? Nope, just wanted out because of the physical manifestations that must be a symptom of him being unhappy without knowing it. Last night I kind of let him have it and told him his emotional issues have nothing to do with me and maybe he should go to a doctor and deal with the underlying causes of his being ill and not sleeping rather than blaming it on me. I told him a man doesn't lay all the blame for the end of relationship on the other person and if he doesn't take some responsibility he is going to continue to hurt people. Needless to say, this did not set well. Long story short, I'm not perfect, neither are you, but the villain is the person who won't accept their part and sees no reason to change their behavior. I'm sure my ex will blame me to others, but that's not my problem, I know the truth and under his denial, so does he. Keep your chin up, you're lucky to be out!

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Happines Established Member

Happines

Posted
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Posted

Thanks a lot for ur advices guys...it's always good to know u are not alone :)

 

I keep telling myself that I am so greatful I managed to leave him and so so greatful to find out what kind of person he really is...better now then after 2 or 3 more years :)

 

And yes I should not care what he is saying but it slightly hurts me because I did so so much for him and supported him all day way and have no clue how he still manages to say bad things about me

 

But oh well never mind :)

casey.lives Established Member

casey.lives

Posted
Posted

did you really expect him to do anything different?

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Happines Established Member

Happines

Posted
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Posted

Probably not to b honest...but was hoping maybe he will say that it simply didn't work...not blame it on me when it was entirely his fault...however he was always a liar so I guess he will continue this way :)

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