mommy of 03 Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 I am a 23 female with a almost 2 year old son. I live with my partner of almost four years. When we first got together we would have sex all the time I mean 3 to 5 times a day, Then It was me always wantingsex whenever I could get it.. Our son was born in 03 and after he was born my boyfriend said he did not want anymore kids so I felt that I had to get the tubal, ( knowing that i still might want more children in the future..So it was okay for a while but just about 5 months ago I just been really not interested in sex at all, I hardly ever want it. And I feel that I shouldnt have to give sex just because he wants it.. Like if and when we do i just want it to be done with fast because I am just not into it. Whats wrong wth me? He will be having a great day but as soon as its time to go to bed or if he asks me of starts messing with me and I say no, Thats it! He just gets mad, not like screaming but you know he is mad.. And he has told me that I just want us to be happy and if that means i have to take care of my own needs then i will. Or he has also said I love you more than sex, Well if thats the case then why does he always get mad , and then i feel obligated too. Does a tubal have anything to do with a womans sex drive?? Please Help.. I GEUSS THAT AT ONE POINT I WAS FEELING LIKE I DIDN'T HAVE THE POWER WITHIN MYSELF TO SAY HOW IT WAS GONNA BE..IT'S REALLY WEIRD I KNOW I LOVE HIM BUT SOMETIMES I DONT THINK I AM INLOVE ANYMORE. I JUST STARTED THIS NEW JOB AS A CUSTOMER SERVICE REP AND HIS SISTER IS THE ONE THAT GOTME THE JOB , NOW HE BLAMES ALL THIS NOT WANTING SEX AND IM NOT WHO I USED TO BE ALL ON MY JOB. I SHOW HIM ALL THE TIME I LOVE HIM BUT IT DONT MEAN I GOTTA GIVE HIM SEX. IM SORRY IT SEEMS LIKE A DRAMA SERIES. AS FR AS THE TUBAL GOES. FOR THE LOGEST TIME I ALWAYS WAS THE ONE SAYING SORRY OR WHATEVER IT TOOK TO MAKE HIM HAPPY, NOW I HAVE GROWN INTO A MORE INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND IF I DONT LIKE SOMETHING THEN I SAY SOMETHING, I JUST WISH THAT I HAD SOMETHING LIKE THIS WITHIN ME ALMOST 2 YEARS AGO. THERES SO MUCH MORE TO THIS STORY..LOL..
AriaIncognito Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Well, I suppose there is a possibility that you just don't want sex right now, from anyone. Do you find yourself sexually aroused by anyone (or anything else) or is it a general not wanting sex feeling? You seem to be pretty upset at your husband for wanting sex and getting upset when he doesn't get any. I used to be this way with my ex. I think he just didn't do much for me or I wasn't attracted anymore, because I never really wanted to have sex, I'd just do it once in a while to shut him up, but i never really enjoyed it or anything. I think maybe you have some soul searching to do. Think about how youre feeling towards your husband. Maybe you can come up with what is actually bothering you, so that you and he can work on things for you to feel better. Having a 2 year old around can be really draining, as well. You could have a lack of sex drive just from trying to keep up.... Best of luck... Jennifer
Author mommy of 03 Posted May 11, 2005 Author Posted May 11, 2005 Thanks for the reply..I am not sure whats going on? I know that I love him but mabey i am not inlove with him anymore? Someone told meonce bfore that it could be slightly because of my tubal hat I had . I geuss it's something i will have to wait and see..
HeartSprinkles Posted May 12, 2005 Posted May 12, 2005 As a woman, when your hormones are screwy you will most likely be screwy! With my last BF, I was on the pill, but it was a strange dosage, so my hormones went hay-wire! I did'nt want to have sex with him, and I really had no sex drive. We eventually broke up...but I did some soul searching (which I highly recommend) and I realized that I love him, and I still love him, but I fell out of love with him. I think it was the combination of the hormones and the lack of true love, that made me prude towards him. I am on the pill now, but different dosage, and I am as horny as all hell. So I guess I am agreeing that you need to search your soul, and be the strong woman that you should be! Don't let anyone dictate your life to you!
SASSYPRINCESS Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 I will tell you a story and give you my opinion but it may not necessarilly help you.. we will have to see.. i was with my ex husband for 7 yrs from when i was 16 years old and i have to say that your feelings of not wanting sex was exactly like me.. i also had a huge lubido before i had my daughter but after she was about 2 yrs old , him and i started having other problems with our marriage, non related to sex and i started not wanted sex either.. same thing, he kept getting mad and not understanding and it went on and on till it got to a point that i felt obligated to let him to do what he had to do while i just lay there completely angry that he could do that when i didnt want to.. The moral of the story , we broke up because our marital problems had caused me to fall out of love for him which then applied to sex aswell without me being aware.. because i think for girls , sex can be quite emotional as well and if we have other things on the mind, its the last thing we feel like doing. Im not saying you guys will break up , wat im saying is, that maybe you need to look at other problems you may have with him, non related to sex, and once they are fixed you might find your libido will go back to normal I hope i made sense
crazychick Posted May 13, 2005 Posted May 13, 2005 Do you feel like its possible that you don't want sex because of the tubal? Because he kinda made you do it when he was the one that didn't want more children. Why didn't he get a vasectomy? If he is controlling and making you feel sorry for things, maybe that is part of the problem. Also, if you are falling out of love with him, that could be a huge reason for you not to want to be with him that way. Independence is important, you should have it. You are becoming your own person and you are young - this is the time in your 20's to figure that stuff out. If you are having doubts about this person you are with, have you talked to him about them? Told him how you feel?
Author mommy of 03 Posted May 13, 2005 Author Posted May 13, 2005 Thanks for the reply I havent really said anyhting to him. Whe I get home it's almost ike im instantly in a bad mood. Since we have been together we have always lived with hi family, and it was always stressful, people were stealing my ****, we never got privacy, IT JUST WASNT OUR PLACE! well i have been with him for almost 4 years and in early march i just got sick of it, i got the balls to leave i grabed some of my sons stuff and went to his sisters..it wasnt until the nexy morning when i was at work and brought my son in with me I text messaged him and was like whats up and he was like you tell me. I was just like i am tired of everyone treating me like ****, im tired of not being on our own, people stealing from me..We need our own place, It instantly caused a fight . He found where i was at for my job, he sat in the parking lot and said to bring out my son. I told him no. He said he would sit there all day. He eventulayy said i am leaving call me later, so after i got to his sisters later we talked and i eventually had him come get me. We now have our own place, now i think i finally have some ground to stand on. But it seems like now i just had all those feelings hitting e at one time, i do love him and care for him soo much but i dont think i am inlove anymore. I want to tell him but i know it will cause a whole big drawn out fight. And i dont wanna put my son through it. And There is no way i would leave without my son..I want things to get better but not sure if they will..thanks for all the advise. as far as the tubal is concerned, i want another baby , i really want my son to have a brother or sister, now it's like there is no way , it is too expensive to have it reversed, and not sure if that would make things worse even if i could.
Recommended Posts