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My ex dumped me and started dating someone else less than a week later?

violetkitty4

By violetkitty4
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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violetkitty4 New Member

violetkitty4

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My ex broke up with me after a really rough patch in our relationship. He told me that he still cared about me and loved me but could only see me as a after our rough patch. I tried the no contact rule but after about a week I caved and called him. He said that I am a great person but that he just wants to be friends. I asked him if there was any hope that we could ever be together and he said that he didn't know. After several questions he admitted that he had a new girlfriend, less than a week after breaking up (we were together for almost a year). He said that he doesn't know relationship rules and how long you are supposed to wait, and that he has a problem and that he can't be alone. He said that she asked and he figured since he was single he should say yes. He told me he still wants to hang out and talk and I can call whenever. Can anyone offer any insight? Do you think this is a rebound situation? Should I be friends with him?

Learningtowalkagain Established Member

Learningtowalkagain

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He broke up with you and a week later is seeing someone else. Hate to break this to you, but he was talking/pursuing/probably sleeping with this person while you two were dating. He was probably playing both sides, when you two hit a rough patch, he went with the other girl. He called her his "girlfriend", I've never referred to a girl as my girlfriend after one week.

 

He said he only wants to be friends with you and is with someone else. No, there is no hope you two can be together.

 

Sounds like he has co-dependency issues and doesn't want to be alone. Once he knew your relationship was going sour he probably started courting a new one, once he knew he had her hooked, he waited for the right opportunity then let you go so he could be with her.

 

What he did was wrong. You want to break up with someone, you break up with them. You don't pursue someone else first then let them go when you decide you like the other person better. This is a morally crappy thing to do to someone.

 

Should you continue to be friends with him? Hell no. Go strict NC. Block him from social media (unless you want to see pics of him with his new g/f), delete his number, delete your text conversation, don't ask friends about him and if they start talking about him cut them off and say you're not interested.

 

Heal, work on yourself. Talk to friends/family if you're having issues. Post here. Start a journal etc.

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casey.lives Established Member

casey.lives

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he was already out .. which is fine. he didn't cheat - he left. that's not so bad!!!!

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aloneinaz Established Member

aloneinaz

Posted
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My ex broke up with me after a really rough patch in our relationship. He told me that he still cared about me and loved me but could only see me as a after our rough patch. I tried the no contact rule but after about a week I caved and called him. He said that I am a great person but that he just wants to be friends. I asked him if there was any hope that we could ever be together and he said that he didn't know. After several questions he admitted that he had a new girlfriend, less than a week after breaking up (we were together for almost a year). He said that he doesn't know relationship rules and how long you are supposed to wait, and that he has a problem and that he can't be alone. He said that she asked and he figured since he was single he should say yes. He told me he still wants to hang out and talk and I can call whenever. Can anyone offer any insight? Do you think this is a rebound situation? Should I be friends with him?

 

 

I agree with the other poster. He checked out of that relationship weeks or months ago and was looking for someone new. I'm sure there were signs of this happening that you missed.

 

 

You calling him asking for another chance a week later only stroked his ego. He has this shiny new girl and his last one pining for him too. At this point, save your dignity and self respect and vanish from his life. He's done with you and that R/S. He's moved on. I know it hurts and sucks. We've all been there.

 

 

Relationships run there course and when they break up, they should really stay that way. We don't know how long he'd been seeing this new person so we can't really say it's odd for him to have a new "GF" so soon. Yes, people who jump from one relationship, right to the next have something going on that they can't be alone. Either way, that's not your worry any longer.

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d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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I agree. This probably wasn't a rebound so much as he ended your relationship so he could start that one.

 

 

No you should not be friends with him. He doesn't really want to be friends either. At best, have no drama when you see him.

 

 

Otherwise, block him from every aspect of your life and set about healing.

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Happines Established Member

Happines

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I been with my ex for two years...I dumped him because he treated me badly and he was saying how he will do all it takes to make it work as he never loved anyone as much as he loved me...within a week he already had someone else in the same house we lived together for over a year and even then he was saying he was alone and he missed me and loved me but when he contacted me a month later he accepted that he did have a girl when he didn't let me in but gave excuse it was friend

 

Look all I am trying to say is that people like my or ur ex never actually care about the person they are with...they would date w horse if that would mean not being alone...what he did to u he will do to her so be happy he is gine and it's not ur problem to deal with his **** anymore

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violetkitty4 New Member

violetkitty4

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Some really good advice, thank you all for your input. I feel ready to move on now.

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Gus Grimly Established Member

Gus Grimly

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Look all I am trying to say is that people like my or ur ex never actually care about the person they are with...they would date w horse if that would mean not being alone...what he did to u he will do to her so be happy he is gine and it's not ur problem to deal with his **** anymore

That about sums it up for me and my breakup. My Ex told me flat out "I don't need any man in my life to be happy!!", meanwhile she's on every dating site under the sun 24/7, sleeping with 2 different guys only weeks after she ended our engagement.

I was grossed out when I found out and also thought she was sorta pathetic throwing herself at any guy who'd give her the time of day. :sick:

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foolinlove79 Established Member

foolinlove79

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Similar situation to mine. I agree with another poster on here that people like yhis dont really love us. They just dont want to be on their own. So as soon as one rs ends they have to find another one. Its ****ty and pretty strange if you ask me.

 

Dont contact him again. Be grateful you only spent a year on him. I spent 6.

candie13 Established Member

candie13

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the moment other people step in, I know it's dead. Like fully and completely dead. I don't play these games. I'm out. It's not something I want or have to convince myself. It's physical.

 

The only reason I would stick around and try to make things work would be if I thought that there was still love between us. The moment there's another person in the equation, his feelings for me are out of the door. They can't be there. It's incompatible. I let it go.

 

you should too

  • Like 2
foolinlove79 Established Member

foolinlove79

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I been with my ex for two years...I dumped him because he treated me badly and he was saying how he will do all it takes to make it work as he never loved anyone as much as he loved me...within a week he already had someone else in the same house we lived together for over a year and even then he was saying he was alone and he missed me and loved me but when he contacted me a month later he accepted that he did have a girl when he didn't let me in but gave excuse it was friend

 

Look all I am trying to say is that people like my or ur ex never actually care about the person they are with...they would date w horse if that would mean not being alone...what he did to u he will do to her so be happy he is gine and it's not ur problem to deal with his **** anymore

 

Lol!!! They would date a horse if it meant not being alone. Haha

lop98 Established Member

lop98

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I went through this, a year later he told me he was 'destroyed' by our breakup and that was the only solution he found. No case of 'he was probably already sleeping with her', they were introduced a week after our breakup, started officially dating a week after that, moved in together that same week and a month later he was seeing engagement rings options :lmao:... I knew from the start it was a (rather tragic-looking) rebound and he admitted to it some time later and he also kept trying to stay in touch with me while all of this was happening.

 

It was very hurtful for me, very traumatic to be completely frank, and it aged me... physically. It all sounds too juvenile but it was a very difficult experience for me and I only wish I had gone on strict NC sooner and had been disciplined about it and completely ignored and blocked him from the start. A year later he came back and among the things above he also said (just like this guy) that he didn't know how to be alone (followed by "what's so wrong with that")... and to this day he continues to be that clingy person making questionable decisions and mistreating others in the name of his emotional limitations and just his inability to accept and love himself. You don't really want that, and in a way this is your blessing in disguise... just think this could've been a 7 year relationship and he would've pulled the same thing but with bigger damages.

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