ginastar Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 I am marrying my ex next month. We broke up for four years, had sporadic contact and other gf bf. Check my first posts on here 1
erklat Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 Congratulations. Interesting. Share more details please how this past four years looked like and how you evolved?
Author ginastar Posted August 15, 2015 Author Posted August 15, 2015 After making all the typical dumpee mistakes I went ghost. Did not text him, deleted his friends n family off Facebook, only responded to his texts, met him a few times,did not hook up w him, etc. any specific questions?
xpaperxcutx Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 After making all the typical dumpee mistakes I went ghost. Did not text him, deleted his friends n family off Facebook, only responded to his texts, met him a few times,did not hook up w him, etc. any specific questions? You said you responded to his text. So he sought you out when you were moving on? Can you go into specifics of how you moved on in the past 4 years? I'm 8 months post breakup and I recently jumped bumped into my ex. Unfortunately, I started crying because he was getting married with his current girlfriend.
Author ginastar Posted August 15, 2015 Author Posted August 15, 2015 At first he didn't text me but after a few months or so he would text me every few months, ask how I'm doing, etc. he don't think he asked to meet up until after a year then a year and a half and then I think it was two years later or do he asked and at that point we then never stopped hanging out .
xpaperxcutx Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 At first he didn't text me but after a few months or so he would text me every few months, ask how I'm doing, etc. he don't think he asked to meet up until after a year then a year and a half and then I think it was two years later or do he asked and at that point we then never stopped hanging out . Were there anomosity when the two of you broke up? How did you handle your feelings when you found out he was dating someone else?
greenvalley Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 Congrats Ginastar! 4 years apart is indeed a lot of time. Could you please elaborate on the bf/gf issue? Did you both enter another relationship quickly? How long these relationships last? Did you manage to get to a place where you were fine and not caring if you end up with him?
Author ginastar Posted August 19, 2015 Author Posted August 19, 2015 I thought about him all the time for the four years honestly, but I never acted like it. I didn't date anyone for the first two years or so. He dated the whole time. I looked him up on do a lot. I def got better as time went on but I never forgot about him... Maybe bc I never met anyone "better"
greenvalley Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 So how exactly did you end up together? Did he take time to stay alone? My ex seems to be in a serious relationship since he has a girlfriend for almost a year (we broke up 1 year and 4 months ago). Unfortunately I don't know any details since I have cut him and his whole environment off for the sake of my healing. But it's definitely not an easy ride at all. Did yours have a serious relationship in between or he was just dating around?
Author ginastar Posted August 19, 2015 Author Posted August 19, 2015 He was in a relationship for almost the entire four years , but I hafta say I think he got out and did his own thing as well. But I did think he just was with her because he liked her better etc.
greenvalley Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 So how did you end up together? It must have been a surreal moment for you..
xpaperxcutx Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 As much as I am happy about your engagement, it makes a little sad that I could never have something as yours. I honestly don't know if my ex will come back, he does seem quite happy with the girl he has now.
greenvalley Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 As much as I am happy about your engagement, it makes a little sad that I could never have something as yours. I honestly don't know if my ex will come back, he does seem quite happy with the girl he has now. You don't know that xpaperxcutx. Don't judge a book by its cover. I say you focus on your happiness and you never know what the future holds for you How long are they together? When did you break up?
xpaperxcutx Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 You don't know that xpaperxcutx. Don't judge a book by its cover. I say you focus on your happiness and you never know what the future holds for you How long are they together? When did you break up? They've beentogether for 8 months now. They might even get engaged. So im really sad.
Author ginastar Posted August 21, 2015 Author Posted August 21, 2015 I thought my ex would get engaged to the new girl as well. I guess it's natural for us to think the worst.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 I thought my ex would get engaged to the new girl as well. I guess it's natural for us to think the worst. As muchas i hate to admit but i heard the news from the horse's mouth. He is from a religiois family and he jas already told his brother-in-law about her. She's converting for him so chances are, they are serious.
greenvalley Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 What I would love to hear from Ginastar though is how she managed to move on? I assume during those 4 years you went through a lot of emotional changes. Do you have any valuable advice that you would like to share?
Chronograph Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 Wow, interesting story! I'd like to hear about the reasons / issues why you've split up in the first place. Are they completely resolved now? So have you both changed so much that all the problems you used to have together will not surface again and destroy the relationship again? What is your feeling about this? I mean obviously you must be very sure about it since you're marrying him now. :-) I mean, I don't know, but I'd imagine that you either need to be two completely different people (since you both have moved on, and learned so much for yourselves) so that this re-union is kind of a completely new relationship, or it is a true resumption of the old relationship ... but then you're reasons to break up must have been rather "external", no?
Firstheartbreaksux Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 (edited) Here's hoping, what I wouldn't give to know this is what's going to happen with us. Time is something we don't get back so I'm upset about not spending all the time I can with her, but maybe when we're both more settled, ready, and mature we can have something like this. I really am happy for you. Edited August 24, 2015 by Firstheartbreaksux
Author ginastar Posted August 24, 2015 Author Posted August 24, 2015 Our breakup was definitely about meeting too young, dating too long, without experiencing life etc without each other. Some people just feel the need to see what's out there to really appreciate what they have. 1
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