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How to make yourself more attractive to men?


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Posted (edited)

I haven't really dated anyone (at least not seriously in 2 years). I'm not waiting for my Mr. Big to come around (yet he does when I tell him I have dates and such, that I find funny as anything). This is the guy who I just posted about. He did say he was sorry for how he acted. But until he shows me something major not wasting my time with him.

 

I don't know if it's the type of guy I'm attracting or what. I really feel like it is my location. I cannot do anything about location until next summer after I finish my program.

 

I've done some maintenance in certain areas recently.

 

Social:

 

I have made myself go out at least once on the weekend (even if I have a test in my professional program).

 

I go to church weekly, but not as consistently but trying to better.

I will be doing at least one social outing a week with them.

 

 

I am going up to the city to have my cousin who is very fashion friendly help me pick out stuff like jeans, skirts, and tops (I've got the knack for dresses, just not sophisticated outfits --always tend to be more simple).

 

Volunteering:

 

I am waiting to hear back about my position for it. The wait is literally killing me. My life will be more full so I probably wouldn't even think about guys or anything if I have a positive response. I went from job and volunteering to no job or anything and only school. I have seen a drastic change in my attitude and well being. So this volunteer job would definitely help me with bouncing back.

 

Appearance:

 

I've been working on losing weight, and I realize I'm at the weight it takes forever to lose the last little bit (it takes me forever to once I am at a certain weight) (I do not look overweight as I lift heavy weights, but I know I'll feel much better).

 

I've updated the mandatory things such as bras, hair, nails. I get my hair done more than most people from what I am told (I have lighter hair so the color shows through faster such as high lights and such). Make up, I had a gay guy in Ulta show me some new make up for an evening out routine a few months back and I'll do that a couple times a week if I go out in the evening.

 

 

Anything else I can do besides putting myself out there more? This past year I always said no to a lot of social outings and it didn't really help my GPA much. If anything I do better when I am more busy.

Edited by sportygirl89
  • Like 1
Posted

It's interesting. How old are you?

 

Sometimes these things make a difference and sometimes they don't. I would guess it's less about getting the presentation right than it is how you act around guys. Are you stiff and closed off, or are you warm and open? Do you smile, are you approachable?

 

Some people don't like it, but have you tried the OLD thing? For me, it helped me actually zero in on a pool of men who were interested in dating, and intentionally going out with them made it easier for me to learn how not to be so closed off.

  • Like 1
Posted

The biggest thing you can do is like yourself & be happy in your own skin. You don't have to be in your face -- take me as I am or else -- but bending yourself into a pretzel for someone else won't work either.

 

 

Do you feel happy? Are you at peace with who you are?

 

 

If you enjoy your life & want to add a mate to improve it, your chances of meeting a good companion increase. If you think you are lacking because you don't have an SO & you don't feel good about yourself primarily because you are single, that desperation repels rather than attracts good people.

  • Like 3
Posted

learn the art of flirting. Nothing catches the eye of any man when you make subtle sensual eye contact. Body language is so key, and how you walk into a room. Smiling is the first step, and work it from there. You can find tips on youtube.

  • Like 2
Posted
I would guess it's less about getting the presentation right than it is how you act around guys. Are you stiff and closed off, or are you warm and open? Do you smile, are you approachable?

 

This is spot on IMO, not the last five pounds or jeans with a slightly different cut. Although the latter two might result in you being more comfortable in your own skin, more outgoing, warmer, and more friendly and flirtatious.

  • Like 1
Posted

A woman that cares about fitness is hot to me (hence the screen name) and it's great you actually lift heavy!. But I also really like a playful smart ass personality. I think many women these days have become really guarded and uptight. So if a woman is confident and has a sense of humor about what her sex appeal does, that is very attractive to me.

 

As far as relationship material, I'd say loyalty and communication skills above all else.

  • Like 1
Posted

Something from my journal:

 

To be loved, be loving.

To find peace, be peaceful.

To find forgiveness, be forgiving.

To be cared about, be caring.

To be treated kindly, be kind.

To be understood, be understanding.

To have friends, be friendly.

 

Etc...

  • Like 3
Posted

Be tall and slim...unless, of course, he prefers short and curvy.

 

Have a dazzling, straight smile...unless, of course, he finds a gap between the front teeth adorable.

 

Have long, flowing hair...unless, of course, he thinks short hair on a woman is sexy.

 

Be gregarious and outgoing...unless, of course, he is attracted to quiet, demure women.

 

 

Etc.

 

F**kit...might as well just be yourself, and wait for the best fit, OP...:)

  • Like 4
Posted

In my experience – as I feel I have often been able to “land guys” that are a bit out of my league looks wise etc….

 

CONFIDENCE

 

I know how to carry a conversation, I have knowledge in a broad range of subjects and can speak freely about them. I am NOT shy. I approach strangers and strike up conversations with them (if I am “interested” in them or not). Generally, I try to be open, fun – and humor doesn’t hurt. Think of it as an air of “I am here to have some FUN – what about you?!”

 

And if I am interested in a guy, he is going to know it through my body language, close interest in him etc. I am going to hang out and talk to that guy more, make him feel a bit “special”, if I have to step away to grab a drink or something – I am going to ask if he is staying put, so we can start back up where we left off – and yes, flirting – eye contact, body space (I am going to get closer), I am going to lean in, get close to his ear to say something, touching – starting with just a shoulder or a knee…

 

I am totally comfortable in my own skin, while I am a bit meticulous about grooming – I am never over the top with make up etc.

 

I agree with others regarding an air of “being complete” and not NEEDING someone. People that are leading full lives (and not trying to fill a void) are often more “attractive” than those who are LOOKING for someone.

 

And I am just comfortable talking to guys… more than girls, I grew up around “guys” (single dad) and share interests etc with them

  • Like 2
Posted

I got a few lessons in this from a lady who had no trouble attracting men, enough to have all the boyfriends she wanted and three husbands (I was #3), all that being short and overweight.

 

Her motto: Always make the best of what one has. That requires knowing one's strengths, both the physical and the psychological. For her it was a daily thing.

 

I'll echo something someone else mentioned and the OP themselves touched upon: Hair. Keep it kept in a feminine way, even if that requires daily care, and keep the color up and with quality product if one colors.

 

I'm watching an old B-flick on Amazon right now, something called 'Devil girl from Mars' (1954) or something like that, and the first thing I noticed about the barkeep (female) was her long flowing hair. Now she has it all pulled up into a bun and looks completely different and almost unnoticeable. My exW clued me in on such details, which I had instinctively responded to but never really thought about, because hair coloring and styling was her business.

 

Attraction for most men starts in their eyes. We covet what we see.

  • Like 1
Posted

I go to church weekly, but not as consistently but trying to better.

I will be doing at least one social outing a week with them.

 

You've gotten a lot of good advice, but I wanted to touch on this. Are these social outings with a single's group at your church? A friend of mine was part of a group like that, and met his future wife there. I never would have thought of that before. Any good prospects? :)

Posted

The woman I have the most attraction for are the ones who never let the world smother and kill their inner little girl.

 

There is a huge difference between a woman who has let the world make her life too serious, and the woman who can just be a little silly sometimes.

 

 

 

Make sure you stay young as you become wise.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
It's interesting. How old are you?

 

Sometimes these things make a difference and sometimes they don't. I would guess it's less about getting the presentation right than it is how you act around guys. Are you stiff and closed off, or are you warm and open? Do you smile, are you approachable?

 

Some people don't like it, but have you tried the OLD thing? For me, it helped me actually zero in on a pool of men who were interested in dating, and intentionally going out with them made it easier for me to learn how not to be so closed off.

 

Mid 20s, haven't gone out on a date in 6 months. I wouldn't exactly call hanging out with Mr. Big a date. Haha

  • Author
Posted
The biggest thing you can do is like yourself & be happy in your own skin. You don't have to be in your face -- take me as I am or else -- but bending yourself into a pretzel for someone else won't work either.

 

 

Do you feel happy? Are you at peace with who you are?

 

 

If you enjoy your life & want to add a mate to improve it, your chances of meeting a good companion increase. If you think you are lacking because you don't have an SO & you don't feel good about yourself primarily because you are single, that desperation repels rather than attracts good people.

 

 

I have other guys interested in me. Just not interested in them.

  • Author
Posted
A woman that cares about fitness is hot to me (hence the screen name) and it's great you actually lift heavy!. But I also really like a playful smart ass personality. I think many women these days have become really guarded and uptight. So if a woman is confident and has a sense of humor about what her sex appeal does, that is very attractive to me.

 

As far as relationship material, I'd say loyalty and communication skills above all else.

 

I do cross fit and go to a second gym.

  • Author
Posted
You've gotten a lot of good advice, but I wanted to touch on this. Are these social outings with a single's group at your church? A friend of mine was part of a group like that, and met his future wife there. I never would have thought of that before. Any good prospects? :)

 

Yes they are. I just went back to church in January. One guy I'm interested in is a missionary the next two years which is sucky. The last thing I wanted to do was to appear I went back to church for guys.

  • Author
Posted
The woman I have the most attraction for are the ones who never let the world smother and kill their inner little girl.

 

There is a huge difference between a woman who has let the world make her life too serious, and the woman who can just be a little silly sometimes.

 

 

 

Make sure you stay young as you become wise.

 

I am 25 but look 18 or 19. I got an adult coloring book today for that reason.

Posted

How do your friends comment about you? Especially the sexual attractive part.

 

I have a friend who does almost the same thing as you: going to church, not very fashion but looks okay, body is on shape, and going to sports (not quite athletic though). Other then those, she is usually going to church, going to church, and going to church. I have no personal opinion on one's religion. Some of the friends' boyfriends commented - not on her face though - that they liked her as a friend, but not on the sexual side. I personally think that she lacks of some feminine characteristics towards men.

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