SinfulChris Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 I'm a young man 22 years old, this girl who I've liked for awhile is almost 20. Anyway let's get into the question, I'm a somewhat dumb man, Meaning I don't realize the obvious signs or mistakes I tend to make, so advice would be much appreciated. This girl and I have know each other for about two years. There was an obvious attraction from the beginning, yet we never acted on it because both of us were in rough parts of our lives, and we were afraid of hurting each other. We decided To Be great friends but the flirting never stopped. Recently her and her cousin are moving away from the state I currently reside, over the last few weeks we've admitted our feelings again, spend tons of time together. Practically inseparable. She started crying on my shoulder, making statements like "your bitter and I'm sweet, we'd make the best couple" and other comments. Her cousin drove me home earlier this week, and she rode with us, we sat in the back and she laid on my shoulder, she was awake but exhausted. The day before she told me she wanted to spend the night with me. So that night, she had to go home with her cousin so he wouldnt drive tired, she was really upset she couldn't stay. I've written her poems and helped her with stress, and I haven't once asked for sex because I care more for her than that. She leaves monday, in two and a half days. The last couple days she hasn't texted me or replied to my texts, she seems to be avoiding me after all these feelings were building up. I have a few theories but I guess my question is what changed? Is it that she's getting to invested in me before moving and just can't deal with that emotion? Did I mess up somehow? Or is it something else entirely? Thank you for any advice.
cerridwen Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 (edited) My best guess is she's steeling herself for her departure. Sh may be distancing herself to protect against too much pain. Sometimes, it's easier to turn off, dig in, hold on, and brace oneself for the inevitable. She may be blaming you for some incidental, something small you said or did, but that is just a coping mechanism. If she can attribute some action on your part to the hurt she's feeling, it makes things more bearable. I think she's just in pain and shutting down. Keep reaching out. Be kind. She'll remember these days and how you left things. How you act now will make all the difference to how she regards you in the future. And it doesn't sound like this play is over just yet... Edited August 14, 2015 by cerridwen 1
Author SinfulChris Posted August 14, 2015 Author Posted August 14, 2015 That sounds understandable, I mean I kind of figured. I guess I'm just afraid she'll keep avoiding me, I want to see her so badly before she goes but I don't want to be to persistent and I don't want to just keep texting her and annoy her. I don't want this play to end but she's going up north and in 7 months I have to move down to texas. I feel like for once in my life I understand what a real mature love is, and I feel like our lIves are heading in two different directions, so how can there ever be an us. Thank you for the reply, you have good advice.
cerridwen Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 That sounds understandable, I mean I kind of figured. I guess I'm just afraid she'll keep avoiding me, I want to see her so badly before she goes but I don't want to be to persistent and I don't want to just keep texting her and annoy her. The alternative is to not text and risk seeming uninterested. You two seem to *really* care about one another. Put yourself out there a bit. I don't want this play to end but she's going up north and in 7 months I have to move down to texas. I feel like for once in my life I understand what a real mature love is, and I feel like our lIves are heading in two different directions, so how can there ever be an us. Try not to predict the future. Do you know, I joined this board after a heartache. I came only to get and give support. After being here for awhile, I developed a crush on another poster--who was also here only for support. Once I learned he lived in England, I gave up the idea of pursuing anything. Well, things began to mysteriously align and now we're getting married. I would have never predicted that--nor can you predict how things might align for you. So, reach each out and be kind. She will remember you for it. <3 Thank you for the reply, you have good advice. You're welcome.
Qboro90 Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 This is a great example of why you shouldn't put off being with someone you have feelings for. The timing will never be perfect and waiting for it to be will lead to circumstances like the one you're in. She's getting distant because she doesn't want to spend time with you where you both confess your feelings for one another and then she leaves Monday. That will just be rough on both of you. Your best bet is to ask to see her once more and if she can't do it or doesn't want to then you need to let her go and start moving on. In the future when you have a girl laying on you and flirting so frequently at least go in and kiss her because once that's over with the tension is freed and you can both know that the other has the same romantic feelings that you have and skip the "should I, shouldn't I" debate in your head.
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