Arieswoman Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 I was single for 15 years + before I remarried; go to bed when you want get up when you want read in bed without someone complaining about the light watch what you want on TV no stinky socks on the bedroom floor no stinky socks in the laundry basket go to town and look round the shops you want to keep your own hours - if you can't sleep you can get up at 3.00.am and play the saxophone no-one snoring or farting in bed you can spend all your time on hobbies or whatever else you want no trying to organise meals around someone elses work schedules I'm sure there must be more but these will do for a start 2
Author Hopeful30 Posted August 16, 2015 Author Posted August 16, 2015 I was single for 15 years + before I remarried; go to bed when you want get up when you want read in bed without someone complaining about the light watch what you want on TV no stinky socks on the bedroom floor no stinky socks in the laundry basket go to town and look round the shops you want to keep your own hours - if you can't sleep you can get up at 3.00.am and play the saxophone no-one snoring or farting in bed you can spend all your time on hobbies or whatever else you want no trying to organise meals around someone elses work schedules I'm sure there must be more but these will do for a start lol these things aren't a big deal at all. I don't care what time i go to sleep or wake up. Nor do I care what we watch on T.V. I suppose sleeping alone is nice. You get to sleep however you want, but again, when you're always sleeping alone it sucks. I want someone to cuddle and squish maybe someone to fondle in the middle of the night Ever had middle of the night sex? It's the best. You literally wake up, roll over, see your man, fondle his junk, have a quickie then go back to sleep. So much better than playing the sax LOL 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 I don't get it. I know people in marriages that have been able to do what they want. I mean, I've known those who had spouses that didn't want them doing certain things or have to give up certain things. Of course, you're going to have to give up bar hopping if your'e going to get married. My mom let my dad pretty much do what he wanted. I know neighbors that have kept the same hobbies that they did when they were single *shrug*. 1
Gaeta Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 I've spent my weekend watching all over again the Twilight Saga. I highly doubt a boyfriend would have seen it as being cute ;-)
cessna Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 I'll be honest, I miss being with my ex. But now that I'm single I don't want to go through the hassle and boredom of dating ever again. It's just not fun. So I see being single as better, in every respect, to dating.
LoveRefreshed Posted August 16, 2015 Posted August 16, 2015 no-one snoring or farting in bed WOAH. How do you know you're not farting and snoring? 2
RonElite Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 Time To Figure Out What You Really Want . . . Then Having A Specific Target To Go After . . . And A Plan Of Action To Get Her . . . Good Luck, Ron
Toodaloo Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 no-one snoring or farting in bed Actually my dogs still do this... and they hog the douvet... But they are great snugglers... Apart from when they sit on your head because you are in "their" spot... God alone knows what we are going to do when someone else wants to get in there with us... Its been far to long with us stretching out and sleeping the way we like to... Do you think I could tell any new beau's that they have to sleep on the sofa??? Next one round I get to be more "me". Sod changing for anyone else. I am far too old for all that crap these days. In turn I will accept them doing what they want. I don't mind a bit of compromise but there is no way I am ever sacrificing as much as I have in the past... Yeah - I like being single most of the time. I just miss sex. 1
Arieswoman Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 LoveRefreshed, WOAH. How do you know you're not farting and snoring? I've been told I snore on occasions but not the other......
lino Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 Having been single for more than my life than in a couple, I can safely say that single life is a distant second best. Let me clarify by saying that I mean single as in genuinely single. Not the 'Im single but still seeing guys and F#cking the odd one' that to me isn't single. For me being single is lonely and to be honest, a waste. Most the things mentioned here I do anyways and so does my girl. Not the rooting around though and I don't consider that single anyway. I've spent my weekend watching all over again the Twilight Saga. I highly doubt a boyfriend would have seen it as being cute ;-) I wouldn't have a problem with my girl doing that. Don't care what she watches on TV to be honest.
joseb Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 For me being single is lonely and to be honest, a waste. If that's the way you define single then no wonder it comes a distant second It's like defining a relationship as always fighting, not having sex with your partner while she spends all your money and cheats on you 1
Toodaloo Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 It's like defining a relationship as always fighting, not having sex with your partner while (-s I need males version for this quote to work) he spends all your money and cheats on you Oh my God! You have dated my ex as well???!!! Seriously though one bad apple does not make a rotten basket... I love men in general. Perhaps that is why I miss having one around so much... 1
DJOkawari Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 For me being single is lonely For me, not feeling lonely when I was alone, was a big step for me emotionally. I don't know if that's what you mean, but when I had the feeling that being single was lonely, I really didn't like myself. ~ Being single is freedom. Without the added responsibility of another person, you can travel as quickly as possible towards whatever changes or goals you have set up. You can actualize your dreams, you can live the life that you want to. There are obviously a lot of positives for having a partner, I'm not denying them, but for me freedom is worth a lot right now.
joseb Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 I love myself 100% regardless and this is true, That's for you though. For me Life is richer with a partner. You get to have wonderful conversations, share intimate moments, experience things together for the first time together. Being single means all of the awesomest experiences I've done alone and have no one to reminisce about it with. Heck I've probably forgotten half of the awesome things I've done because I've done them alone so i couldn't enjoy them fully (while everyone else is at the movie theater with a partner asking.."Why is she alone? Was she stood up? Poor thing has no date..." As well, being single means you do less. I don't go for romantic dinners on my own. Did that for new year's last year. Not one single person had the courtesy to even wish me a new year or tell me "good for you for celebrating alone anyways." Nope. Just pity eyes. And it did suck spending it all by myself. I can sorta see the having someone to reminisce with - I remember travelling with my first ltr and it was a lot of fun sharing the experience. But I've since travelled alone and that's even more fun cause of all the people you meet on the way and the new friends you make. Nothing like drunkenly discussing the meaning of life at 2am in a dive bar in some 3rd world country with people you met that day:) Personally I go out and socialise a lot more when I'm single. And although I don't mind eating alone, I agree it's nice to share a meal - but you can do that with family or friends - was there nobody you wanted to share new years dinner with? If not, widening your circle of friends might be a good idea. Reading this thread, I'm wondering if some people are just better at/happier being single, while others (most?) are just more suited to always being in a relationship... 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 I've spent my weekend watching all over again the Twilight Saga. I highly doubt a boyfriend would have seen it as being cute ;-) I wouldn't have a problem with my girl doing that. Don't care what she watches on TV to be honest. I may have to reiterate as my previous post was probably over looked as once a post gets to several pages, the point you're trying to make may get overlooked. It may even suffice to start a new thread altogether, but I'll go ahead and make another attempt. I agree, I wouldn't have a problem with my girl binge watching the Twilight Saga. As an example, I get a kick out of those that somehow see the benefit of "watching the Twilight Saga" see that as a benefit of being single? Please clue me in I think it's because the assumed party thinks that watching Twighlight is something the other person would have a problem with this? That being said, I think people are grasping at excuses or straws trying to find some kind of strange reason, such as the Twilight saga or whatever insignificant activity, as a benefit to being single? Even if the person wasn't into the Twilight Saga, I fail to see the problem here. I'm failing to see how that "benefit" even holds water in this argument. I know TONS of couples that have their own "thing". Some watch "Dancing with the Stars" while their husbands watch football. Big whoop and I see how this would even be an issue or a benefit.
joseb Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 I'm failing to see how that "benefit" even holds water in this argument. I know TONS of couples that have their own "thing". Some watch "Dancing with the Stars" while their husbands watch football. Big whoop and I see how this would even be an issue or a benefit. I guess one thing you might not be considering is that outside of the U.S., most places I've lived tend to not have multiple TVs, so it's shared viewing. But yeah, TV preferences isn't a major thing for me - though still nice to be able to watch what I want now (I got to see about 30% of what I wanted before)
Toodaloo Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 Think yourself lucky joseb... I had screaming ab dabs if I wanted to watch something he didn't... Stompy feet and arm slinging included... All of my old favs... Gone with the Wind, From Here to Eternity... all went to the back of the shelf... When he left I watch them all so many times I got sick of them!!! If I want to treat myself now. I do. Sometimes its something little, sometimes it bigger. I buy myself clothes that I like rather than being told that I am being wasteful and vain... I buy make up and shoes! I can buy healthy food and not be screamed at. I can go for long walks and running and climbing and rowing and to yoga and... Like I said before. I will never compromise as much as I did nor will I give up as much as I did. Sod that. Being single and free from that man is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me!
Els Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 I guess one thing you might not be considering is that outside of the U.S., most places I've lived tend to not have multiple TVs, so it's shared viewing. People still watch stuff on the TV nowadays? We have zero TVs in the house, and we each still watch our own thing sometimes. The beauty of computers and the internet.
Vintage79 Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 * When single, one already knows the answer to the question "Do these jeans make my a** look fat?" Yep - if you're thinking about it yourself, the answer is always yes...otherwise you wouldn't be asking...
joseb Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 People still watch stuff on the TV nowadays? We have zero TVs in the house, and we each still watch our own thing sometimes. The beauty of computers and the internet. Yeah especially now that Netflix finally is in Australia I rarely watch live tv, apart from some sports. But as I work on my computer all day, I really don't like using it outside of work so always prefer using a smart tv. Watching stuff on a computer just makes me think I'm still working (and cause I show up online sometimes it means I end up doing just that) 1
Dolfin80 Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 Personally I go out and socialise a lot more when I'm single. And although I don't mind eating alone, I agree it's nice to share a meal - but you can do that with family or friends - was there nobody you wanted to share new years dinner with? If not, widening your circle of friends might be a good idea. Reading this thread, I'm wondering if some people are just better at/happier being single, while others (most?) are just more suited to always being in a relationship... I prefer to travel alone, yes, nothing like being in a 3rd world country hanging out with a group of travellers. I just got back from South America and had a hoot with a bunch of Brazilians in Santiago, Chile, grocery shopping for our BBQ was priceless as none of us spoke Spanish so it was an enmeshment of English and portugese lol. I socialise a lot more being single too, spent last New Years on a scuba diving trip to Vanuatu (there was 30 of us from Sydney) I climbed my 1st volcano with a native Tanna Islander. The 4WDing to the volcano was so much fun too. I seem to thrive being single. In 6 months I'm trekking through Patagonia in Chile and Argentina, also glacier trekking, then heading to Brazil for the Rio Carnivals. Nothing can stop me! 4
LookAtThisPOst Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 People still watch stuff on the TV nowadays? We have zero TVs in the house, and we each still watch our own thing sometimes. The beauty of computers and the internet. Netflix...buff said lol
DJOkawari Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 (edited) I seem to thrive being single. Yeah this is really what it is. I'm the best version of myself, single and I'm more excited to be alive single. Also, I understand the TV comment. Some times I want to smoke up and binge watch some anime, never had a GF who was okay with that. The dream is still to find miss perfect and have it all, but until I find her, it's definitely better being single. Amusingly, Dolfin, that sounds a lot like my past year, all of the dates are wrong though and no Vanuatu for me, hehe...one day I can sorta see the having someone to reminisce with - I remember travelling with my first ltr and it was a lot of fun sharing the experience. But I've since travelled alone and that's even more fun cause of all the people you meet on the way and the new friends you make. Nothing like drunkenly discussing the meaning of life at 2am in a dive bar in some 3rd world country with people you met that day:) Personally I go out and socialise a lot more when I'm single. Completely agree with this. Good memories, traveling with the Ex. Much better memories travelling alone. There is just something about being perfectly free and uninhibited that's too intoxicating for me to give up. Every day and every week, I grow, I pick up new skills, I hone old ones, I achieve dreams of mine. In my last LTR she made me so happy, but I stagnated in terms of personal development. I could never go back to that feeling of contentedness again. I'm discontented and living that way gives me an edge and excitement for life that I don't think I can get another way. I was sad for a while after the break up and one day it all just cracked and I loved being me. I thought I loved myself before, but it's completely on a different level now, it is a joy to exist as myself. Some times I spend days alone without noticing. Then I spend days with people and I enjoy it so much. Life is so beautiful this way, I don't think I would like a change. Edited August 18, 2015 by DJOkawari 3
Els Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 Yeah, I mean, I agree with the general gist of things. LTRs involve compromise, period. IMO in a good LTR it's more than worth it, and with a compatible partner there are fewer compromises needed - for instance, some other guy/girl might find it a 'compromise' to spend the night gaming, but for me and my SO it's what we both enjoy. But some compromise is always going to be needed, because no two people are clones of each other (and I'd wager that even clones want different things at different times!). I can understand why people would choose to not have to make compromises at all. As I said, to me a good R is more than worth it, but different people have different priorities and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. 2
Author Hopeful30 Posted August 20, 2015 Author Posted August 20, 2015 In my last LTR she made me so happy, but I stagnated in terms of personal development. I could never go back to that feeling of contentedness again. But that's not necessarily your LTR to blame. Some people change when they're in relationships and begin neglecting themselves, putting the partner first. On the flip side, personal development can stem from relationships too.
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