catlady11 Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 In regards to meeting someone online how safe is it to give out your cell #? I met a guy online and he gave me his cell#. I thought about texting him hello but did some research and found that it's not really that safe. I was able to look up his number and found out his last name. I'm sure with more digging I may have been able to find his address. I found some websites like text2day where you can message from your computer and it just shows the text coming from an email address (tested it out on my cell). Does any one know of any apps that will work in hiding your cell # from being displayed or displaying a different number?
jen1447 Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 I wouldn't give it to someone you haven't met in person unless there's a long precedent of reliability - chatted online for a year w/no strange gut feelings of suspicion, etc.
No_Go Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 If you're uncomfortable, just call him from Skype or Google number.Or hide your number by typing *67 in front of his number (google if it is the same combination for your provider). Or buy a prepaid card dedicated to use for OLD texts/calls. Or my strategy: give your number AFTER the first date (if you're not sure you wan to share it afterwards, that's a good sign you shouldn't be dating this person). In regards to meeting someone online how safe is it to give out your cell #? I met a guy online and he gave me his cell#. I thought about texting him hello but did some research and found that it's not really that safe. I was able to look up his number and found out his last name. I'm sure with more digging I may have been able to find his address. I found some websites like text2day where you can message from your computer and it just shows the text coming from an email address (tested it out on my cell). Does any one know of any apps that will work in hiding your cell # from being displayed or displaying a different number?
mavendark Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 Yes, you can use a Google number. Nowadays, tons of people are doing the online dating thing and it is almost unavoidable to give your cell number. Are you afraid that you will get jumped and get hurt when you meet him? Or are you afraid that your personal information will be out there for him to find?
Gaeta Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 Google your own phone number and see what comes up. Where I live all cellulars are unlisted so unless you put your cell number on your webpage for work or something else then yes it will come up in a search. I personally am not paranoid to that point. I don't care who gets my phone number. If they annoy me I block them. If someone has any intention of finding you they won't need your number. I had this ONE date with a guy. He was a programmer and with only my first name and one-key-word from a conversation we had about my work he was able to locate my office and show up. 4
Author catlady11 Posted August 14, 2015 Author Posted August 14, 2015 I never worried about giving my cell number out before, never thought much about it. When he gave me his number I decided to look it up and see if I could find out anything and lo and behold I found out his last name and then I did some reading and read some articles how someone could simply call your carrier and found out your address. I found a website online to text from until I feel more comfortable giving it out.
angel.eyes Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 I've done the OLD thing twice now, exchanged phone numbers with countless guys in the process, and had zero problems. If interest wasn't mutual, we went our separate ways without incident. Unless you have a knack for attracting the unhinged and not realizing it until it's too late, I wouldn't worry. Do you have business cards? If so, to whom are you handing those cards? Do you have a professional website? Do you use social media? If your answer to even one of these questions is yes, you're giving away far more information to strangers, including those you've never interacted with, than you ever would in giving your number to some dude online. I'm not trying to minimize your concern, just put it in perspective. It's a little like the person who worries about dying in a plane crash, when what he or she should really worry about is dying in a car accident en route to or from the airport. Statistically speaking, that's when the person is most likely to die. We tend to exaggerate risks when something is unfamiliar and ignore even huge risks when it's something we do on a regular basis. Besides, even without a phone number, it's incredibly easy to figure out who someone is and all the same information if you're so inclined. Most of us just have better things to do with our time. Welcome to the digital era. Are you going to start using a fake first name too? Fake photos? Never talk to someone ever?
Author catlady11 Posted August 14, 2015 Author Posted August 14, 2015 I see what you're saying angel.eyes. Like I said, I never thought about it before when I gave it out. I don't use a fake name but I don't give out my last name until we've met
wb1988 Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 In regards to meeting someone online how safe is it to give out your cell #? I met a guy online and he gave me his cell#. I thought about texting him hello but did some research and found that it's not really that safe. I was able to look up his number and found out his last name. I'm sure with more digging I may have been able to find his address. I found some websites like text2day where you can message from your computer and it just shows the text coming from an email address (tested it out on my cell). Does any one know of any apps that will work in hiding your cell # from being displayed or displaying a different number? Thanks for mentioning the "cell" part several times, I don't think we would have understood you otherwise .
jen1447 Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 I've done the OLD thing twice now, exchanged phone numbers with countless guys in the process, and had zero problems. If interest wasn't mutual, we went our separate ways without incident. Unless you have a knack for attracting the unhinged and not realizing it until it's too late, I wouldn't worry. I assume the risk with OLD is the anonymous nature of the participants initially - you never really know who you're talking to. Unhinged and/or obsessive isn't that uncommon out there in the world. Do you have business cards? If so, to whom are you handing those cards? Do you have a professional website? Do you use social media? If your answer to even one of these questions is yes, you're giving away far more information to strangers, including those you've never interacted with, than you ever would in giving your number to some dude online. Business cards would at most be your name and work info (which could indeed be compromising, but presumably you'd only give it to business associates). Same with website. Social media can be dramatically limited so you only show to people you want to see, and if it's totally public, you don't actually have to publish identifiable info. Your phone number OTOH is sth tied directly to you which could lead to other specifics about you, like home address et al. Thus sharing a phone number's inherently risky while the other stuff isn't, or at least not as much. Besides, even without a phone number, it's incredibly easy to figure out who someone is and all the same information if you're so inclined. Most of us just have better things to do with our time. Welcome to the digital era. Are you going to start using a fake first name too? Fake photos? Never talk to someone ever? It's actually not really easy unless you publish a lot of info about yourself, or you have an exceptionally rare name. If your name's Jane Smith and that's all anyone knows about you, there's bscly zero chance you'll be found, whereas being as OP lives in CA, USA, that means her cell number's in a (limited) publicly accessible database somewhere which most likely lists her address as well as other potentially identifiable info that can expose you to greater risks, whether it be stalking, harassment, identity theft, etc. Bottom line is it's not a good idea to give your number to ppl you're not sure about. Don't mean to nit-pick you A.E but it's a reasonably important topic so I feel the realities should be accurately represented. 2
angel.eyes Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 I see what you're saying angel.eyes. Like I said, I never thought about it before when I gave it out. I don't use a fake name but I don't give out my last name until we've met Notice. I mentioned your first name. Your phone number, your last name? Not needed. I'll give those to you in under a minute. It takes very little to figure out who you are, where you live, etc....were someone actually interested in figuring that info out. Thankfully, few people care to expend any of their time that way. Don't give out your phone number if it makes you feel better. But understand it's the same as setting up an elaborate home alarm system, but having all the windows and doors to your house wide open anyway. It's not accomplishing what you hope. In fact, quite the opposite. When do we typically make an effort to investigate and find information? When the person with whom we're interacting isn't forthcoming and appears to be hiding things.
usernametaken Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 I assume the risk with OLD is the anonymous nature of the participants initially - you never really know who you're talking to. Unhinged and/or obsessive isn't that uncommon out there in the world. Business cards would at most be your name and work info (which could indeed be compromising, but presumably you'd only give it to business associates). Same with website. Social media can be dramatically limited so you only show to people you want to see, and if it's totally public, you don't actually have to publish identifiable info. Your phone number OTOH is sth tied directly to you which could lead to other specifics about you, like home address et al. Thus sharing a phone number's inherently risky while the other stuff isn't, or at least not as much. It's actually not really easy unless you publish a lot of info about yourself, or you have an exceptionally rare name. If your name's Jane Smith and that's all anyone knows about you, there's bscly zero chance you'll be found, whereas being as OP lives in CA, USA, that means her cell number's in a (limited) publicly accessible database somewhere which most likely lists her address as well as other potentially identifiable info that can expose you to greater risks, whether it be stalking, harassment, identity theft, etc. Bottom line is it's not a good idea to give your number to ppl you're not sure about. Don't mean to nit-pick you A.E but it's a reasonably important topic so I feel the realities should be accurately represented. I dunno. If someone tells me that their name is Steven and they're a tax attorney in XXXX city, I can pretty quickly find them, their full name, and their picture on the internet. But I am very, very good at the google game, and I have only dated people who are professionals, which = business websites and linkedin bios.
jen1447 Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 I dunno. If someone tells me that their name is Steven and they're a tax attorney in XXXX city, I can pretty quickly find them, their full name, and their picture on the internet. But I am very, very good at the google game, and I have only dated people who are professionals, which = business websites and linkedin bios. You can search for Steven the tax attorney in city x, sure, but how will you know who you're actually looking for and who you've found? All you'll actually know (presumably) is you found a guy named Steven _____ who's a tax attorney in city x, and maybe pictures of said guy. If you're looking for professional people you already know, finding them on LinkedIn isn't really a big accomplishment. 2
Gary S Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 Google your own phone number and see what comes up. Where I live all cellulars are unlisted so unless you put your cell number on your webpage for work or something else then yes it will come up in a search. I personally am not paranoid to that point. I don't care who gets my phone number. If they annoy me I block them. If someone has any intention of finding you they won't need your number. I had this ONE date with a guy. He was a programmer and with only my first name and one-key-word from a conversation we had about my work he was able to locate my office and show up. - This is good information. With the popularity of cell phones today, it's become the standard for women to give them out on dating sites........but only when you are comfortable with the individual........let your intuition be your guide......... if you feel funny about giving it out, even though you can't put a finger on it, don't do it. The best security experts in the world will tell you your intuition is your first line of defense. If you determine later that you no longer wish to communicate with an individual, change their name in your phone to telemarketer and ignore.
usernametaken Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 You can search for Steven the tax attorney in city x, sure, but how will you know who you're actually looking for and who you've found? All you'll actually know (presumably) is you found a guy named Steven _____ who's a tax attorney in city x, and maybe pictures of said guy. If you're looking for professional people you already know, finding them on LinkedIn isn't really a big accomplishment. Because most people have pictures in the OLD profile and on their professional websites and linkedin pages. It's not too hard to connect the dots. Three pieces of information - first name, profession, and location - coupled with a photo are enough. This is usually threshold getting to know you information in any OLD conversation.
jen1447 Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 Because most people have pictures in the OLD profile and on their professional websites and linkedin pages. It's not too hard to connect the dots. Three pieces of information - first name, profession, and location - coupled with a photo are enough. This is usually threshold getting to know you information in any OLD conversation. That qualifies as "publishing a lot of info about yourself" then. If you could search for Steven the tax attorney in city x and compare him to photos of other Steven tax attorneys in city x on LinkedIn until you found a match, you've already given up too much about yourself. Steven's already published 4 pieces of identifiable and corroborative info and put himself on a publicly accessible website that identifies him, so he's already given his identity away. The cell number would just be icing on the cake. But If OP had only her picture and first name on her OLD profile and no public LinkedIns et al, it would be difficult to tie that to anything. If however she added her phone number - that would be risky bc it's adding additional info that can be used to corroborate and refine the existing info, potentially to the point of leading an unhinged OLD fan to her residence when without it he'd never even really know who she was.
usernametaken Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 That qualifies as "publishing a lot of info about yourself" then. If you could search for Steven the tax attorney in city x and compare him to photos of other Steven tax attorneys in city x on LinkedIn until you found a match, you've already given up too much about yourself. Steven's already published 4 pieces of identifiable and corroborative info and put himself on a publicly accessible website that identifies him, so he's already given his identity away. The cell number would just be icing on the cake. But If OP had only her picture and first name on her OLD profile and no public LinkedIns et al, it would be difficult to tie that to anything. If however she added her phone number - that would be risky bc it's adding additional info that can be used to corroborate and refine the existing info, potentially to the point of leading an unhinged OLD fan to her residence when without it he'd never even really know who she was. That's not the information from the profile - it's the information usually exchanged in the first "getting to know you" texts. It's almost always enough to allow someone to google for a full name and contact information and, hence, there's little risk for giving a phone number at that point. No one would ever suggest putting a phone number on your OLD profile, though. I don't think. Or even your first name.
angel.eyes Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 Have you ever rented or owned? Had a job? Participated in any activity...i don't care how random? You're findable in the US based on your first name alone...and so is a lot of fairly personal information about you. Your phone number? Don't worry, I'll give that to you...No need for you to "help" me by providing it. We live in a highly connected world.
jen1447 Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 That's not the information from the profile - it's the information usually exchanged in the first "getting to know you" texts. It's almost always enough to allow someone to google for a full name and contact information and, hence, there's little risk for giving a phone number at that point. No one would ever suggest putting a phone number on your OLD profile, though. I don't think. Or even your first name. Well naturally if you've already essentially told someone who you are, it won't be difficult to find you. But it doesn't sound like OP's done that, except she's considering giving this guy her phone number, which would put her at risk of doing that. Let's take me for example - could you positively identify me knowing that my name's Jennifer and that's my picture to the left?
usernametaken Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 Well naturally if you've already essentially told someone who you are, it won't be difficult to find you. But it doesn't sound like OP's done that, except she's considering giving this guy her phone number, which would put her at risk of doing that. Let's take me for example - could you positively identify me knowing that my name's Jennifer and that's my picture to the left? Given enough time, yes. For instance, I can already tell that you post at womens-health
jen1447 Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 Which tells you ....nothing about my actual identity. Please do attempt it, srsly. 2
Author catlady11 Posted August 14, 2015 Author Posted August 14, 2015 wb1988....some people still use landlines in this day and age so that's why I said "cell". I have a landline (part of my cable/internet bundle package and I use that phone primarily for work conf calls).
Jj66 Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 It seems to be common practice in OLD where I am to exchange numbers when you've agreed to meet. In every case but one, the woman offered her number when she agreed to meet me without my having to ask for it. Presumably, this is is so we can let each other know if we are delayed. .
jay1983 Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 I drop them and move on if they don't give me their number after exchanging a few messages. I noticed women who are too nervous to give their number are too nervous to meet in person and will just play pen pal for as long as you let them.
Jj66 Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 I drop them and move on if they don't give me their number after exchanging a few messages. I noticed women who are too nervous to give their number are too nervous to meet in person and will just play pen pal for as long as you let them. Agree. I just don't do pen pals. I also believe in early meetings. It keeps you both from investing too much into each other when you have no idea if you are even attracted to each other.
Recommended Posts