mommy of 03 Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 I am a 23 female with a almost 2 year old son. I live with my partner of almost four years. When we first got together we would have sex all the time I mean 3 to 5 times a day, Then It was me always wantingsex whenever I could get it.. Our son was born in 03 and after he was born my boyfriend said he did not want anymore kids so I felt that I had to get the tubal, ( knowing that i still might want more children in the future..So it was okay for a while but just about 5 months ago I just been really not interested in sex at all, I hardly ever want it. And I feel that I shouldnt have to give sex just because he wants it.. Like if and when we do i just want it to be done with fast because I am just not into it. Whats wrong wth me? He will be having a great day but as soon as its time to go to bed or if he asks me of starts messing with me and I say no, Thats it! He just gets mad, not like screaming but you know he is mad.. And he has told me that I just want us to be happy and if that means i have to take care of my own needs then i will. Or he has also said I love you more than sex, Well if thats the case then why does he always get mad , and then i feel obligated too. Does a tubal have anything to do with a womans sex drive?? Please Help..
whichwayisup Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 I guess I don't understand WHY you had the get the tubal done. If you knew you might want more kids someday, why didn't he go and get the big V done? That's very selfish of him!! And you're not married to him! Could you not go on the pill? Just makes no sense that you felt you had to go get your tubes tied... The sex drive could be because of that - But honestly? I think you're depressed. The horomones could have something to do with it too. Communication is important and if he's abit miffed that you're not having sex with him - HAVING sex with him out of guilt or feeling obligated is just wrong - Wrong to him and most of all, wrong to yourself.
Author mommy of 03 Posted May 9, 2005 Author Posted May 9, 2005 THANKS FOR THE REPLY, I GEUSS THAT AT ONE POINT I WAS FEELING LIKE I DIDN'T HAVE THE POWER WITHIN MYSELF TO SAY HOW IT WAS GONNA BE..IT'S REALLY WEIRD I KNOW I LOVE HIM BUT SOMETIMES I DONT THINK I AM INLOVE ANYMORE. I JUST STARTED THIS NEW JOB AS A CUSTOMER SERVICE REP AND HIS SISTER IS THE ONE THAT GOTME THE JOB , NOW HE BLAMES ALL THIS NOT WANTING SEX AND IM NOT WHO I USED TO BE ALL ON MY JOB. I SHOW HIM ALL THE TIME I LOVE HIM BUT IT DONT MEAN I GOTTA GIVE HIM SEX. IM SORRY IT SEEMS LIKE A DRAMA SERIES. AS FR AS THE TUBAL GOES. FOR THE LOGEST TIME I ALWAYS WAS THE ONE SAYING SORRY OR WHATEVER IT TOOK TO MAKE HIM HAPPY, NOW I HAVE GROWN INTO A MORE INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND IF I DONT LIKE SOMETHING THEN I SAY SOMETHING, I JUST WISH THAT I HAD SOMETHING LIKE THIS WITHIN ME ALMOST 2 YEARS AGO. THERES SO MUCH MORE TO THIS STORY..LOL..
johnnyl321 Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 for chrissakes just break it off with him. it's obvious you don't want to be with your boyfriend, so don't keep him lingering. break his heart, make him pay you your much needed child support and go out on your own. take a little advice and DON'T get into another relationship for at least 9 months. you need to get your life together and think what you want from a relationship. i'm sorry you and your bf didn't work out, and i've never been a big fan of "i love him, but i'm not IN love with him". i think that's nonsense. basically, you love him, but you have no PASSION for him anymore. ask yourself if that's how it seems. you can't change your feelings and yes, someone's going to be hurt and bad things will be said and you'll say you're sorry and try to make it up. it may work out, but it may not. i feel sorry for your child, so make sure his/her dad is in their life too, okay? best of luck.
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