Noideanow Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 I am alpha, he is the only exception that made me feel this way. I usually vouch for something casual (without sex) and date around with little emotional attachment to men at all. I became too attached to this one and it led to this. I don't think investing emotions is a good idea. I am alpha, as in strong, ambitious, intelligent, independent, bossy, loves to lead a team and being career-orientated. I am training in a predominantly masculine field and excel in maths and science. I also love gambling. This guy just made me change my views. It's a shame that this could not be recovered. I have deleted his phone number and messages, everything. I don't want to seem so desperate by continually making contact. I ceased. It sucks that he used to do all the chasing, asking out, talking and flirting. Now I know emotions make me weaker than I actually am. I should keep them buried like hidden treasure like I always had. Thats not alpha-female thats alpha-male;)
mike_89 Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 I usually vouch for something casual (without sex) and date around with little emotional attachment to men at all. I became too attached to this one and it led to this. I don't think investing emotions is a good idea. [..] Now I know emotions make me weaker than I actually am. I should keep them buried like hidden treasure like I always had. And this is exactly why guys of 26 years old guys that might be looking for a serious relationship don't want to date girls under 20 3
kendahke Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 Actually that Saturday I had a date with another guy. We are not exclusive so I can see someone else. I would not if we were exclusive. Also on Friday I had another date with a guy. Unless he saw me with them, there is no other logical reason why he would do this out of the blue. I made some comments about lost sparks on FB and maybe Ice saw on my profile that I was interested in women. Whatever the reason I wish he could tell me instead of opting out for no reason. Were you and he FB friends? Is your page public and anyone can read your wall? Why would you post a comment taking a swipe at him and put it on blast where he could read it? What did you think doing that was going to do, make him chase you? I notice that a lot of young people do this and then later complain bitterly when they're getting repercussions flung in their teeth. Adult lesson learned: actions have consequences and people have feelings and saturation points. This antic most likely put him at his tolerance level for immature BS rather quickly. If this passive/aggressive tactic is how you go about working through issues rather than having a conversation, then you might as well put 20-something guys out of your mind and resign yourself to 40-somethings trying to regain a sense of their lost youth... they are more likely to go along with this kind of game playing. 1
Redhead14 Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 I am 18 and he is 26. He is well aware of this when we met on that dating site. He said he was looking for something serious and so was I. We hit it off really well after the date and he wants to see me again. He asked me to see him again on Saturday, but I was busy so I said I can't but rearranged the schedule. We were supposed to meet tomorrow but today, he wished me luck finding someone else and told me that he feels that I am too young for him, 8 years younger. He says he felt like a pedophile and removed me from his friends list. Why is he doing this? I feel so depressed. We were talking fine a few days ago and got along super well what can I do about this? Why is he doing this? -- told me that he feels that I am too young for him . . . There isn't anything you can do about it. It's not a matter of control. Either it works or it doesn't. I'd say that its more about the "maturity level" than the numerical age. There is a big gap in that realm between 18 and 26 for sure. Take him at his word and move on. You're lucky he's an honest, respectful guy and didn't take advantage of the situation. 1
No_Go Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 Whatever the reason is, he made his decision. You should respect it. It is upsetting to be dropped after a great 1st (or 2nd, or 3rd) date, but insisting to continue after the person rejected you is inconsiderate to them. And with all honesty, 18/26 is a big difference, life-stage wise (at that age he may be already looking to settle, have kids etc - are you ready for that at 18?). If you were 25/33, or 33/40, fine, but under 20 your best bet are college-aged guys. I am 18 and he is 26. He is well aware of this when we met on that dating site. He said he was looking for something serious and so was I. We hit it off really well after the date and he wants to see me again. He asked me to see him again on Saturday, but I was busy so I said I can't but rearranged the schedule. We were supposed to meet tomorrow but today, he wished me luck finding someone else and told me that he feels that I am too young for him, 8 years younger. He says he felt like a pedophile and removed me from his friends list. Why is he doing this? I feel so depressed. We were talking fine a few days ago and got along super well what can I do about this? 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 I am alpha, he is the only exception that made me feel this way. I usually vouch for something casual (without sex) and date around with little emotional attachment to men at all. I became too attached to this one and it led to this. I don't think investing emotions is a good idea. I am alpha, as in strong, ambitious, intelligent, independent, bossy, loves to lead a team and being career-orientated. I am training in a predominantly masculine field and excel in maths and science. I also love gambling. This guy just made me change my views. It's a shame that this could not be recovered. I have deleted his phone number and messages, everything. I don't want to seem so desperate by continually making contact. I ceased. It sucks that he used to do all the chasing, asking out, talking and flirting. Now I know emotions make me weaker than I actually am. I should keep them buried like hidden treasure like I always had. This just goes to show your immaturity. There's nothing wrong with having emotions. Emotions aren't a sign of weakness, and neither should you 'keep them buried'. If you suppress, hide and reject your emotions, this doesn't make you a strong Alpha type. This gives you all the appearances of a cold-hearted bitch. And in the end, you'll get hurt twice as badly, because people will be under the impression that you don't care, or are un-hurtable. Emotions don't make you vulnerable. Emotions are an extremely human/humane trait. By all means control them, if you feel you must. But consider them a weakness? Keeping them buried...? Childish nonsense. So you got thrown a purler. Get over it, move on, and just chalk it up to experience. It's no big deal. And certainly not something to consider ignoring your emotions for. 4
wb1988 Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 I agree with Enigma. Sometimes a person has a set criteria to meet their "check list" of what they want in a partner. For example looking for some who is 20 to 26, and someone over 5 foot 6. If you dont meet the criteria then Im sorry. At least he has some integrity than fobbing you off with some lame excuse. You just dont fit his criteria. That's only for online dating where it's easy to keep a benchmark. For example there are many girls who might say something like "I only date guys 6ft plus" but then they meet a gorgeous guy at a party that's 5'9" and suddenly the requirement goes out the window; they probably even forgot that they wanted a 6ft+ guy in the first place. Dating check lists are just lists, like literally just a list that probably won't be implemented in any way. OP, there are a few possible reasons I can think of as a guy that's 26 (I date 19-22yos only anyway): 1. He's trying to raise your interest level in him. Saying "I'm looking for someone more mature" or "I think you're too young" are great ways to do this to girls that just happen to be much younger than you. 2. His friends/family made fun of him for dating someone so young. He might have let it get to him and somehow feels like a peado (even though technically it means a person who's into those that haven't reached puberty, which is like under 13-14 but pop media can make it apply to young adults). 3. Someone else has come up. To be honest getting girls our own age is actually 'harder' to get, and younger girls seem to be a lot easier. Maybe a girl that he considered harder is now into him? 4. He's not into you anymore. The age thing is just an excuse, like how when girls say might tell a guy that he's too nice.
smackie9 Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 Not everyone is comfortable dating someone who is still a teenager period. Be prepared for further rejection in the years to come.....just part of growing up, and being an adult.
DJOkawari Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 (edited) To be honest it couldve actually just been an honest mistake...I had my OLD profile set to 18-28 and I matched with a wondeful 18 yo girl. I'm in my early 20's so I figured that was alright...we met up and it just reminded me of myself years ago. The "me" from years ago and her would've really been a good fit! Unfortunately for her I really hate that guy now and my age limit is now set from 21-28. Also, I agree with taramaiden regarding the immaturity thing, don't take it too hard though, you're definitely more mature than I was then Edited August 14, 2015 by DJOkawari
MissBee Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 But why did he really want to see and talk to me? It only went terribly downhill this week. He used to text me everyday and enjoy talking to me wanted to see me again as well. I don't know what happened here. It is either a soft let down because he is no longer interested or the age gap has always bothered him but he decided to give it a chance anyway then realized more and more that he wanted someone closer to his age so it was nagging at him until he decided to end it. Sorry that this happened, but that's sometimes how it goes in dating. You didn't know him for that long it seems so don't let it depress you.
GemmaUK Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 It could be that there was another reason but he chose the one that was kindest and that you cannot argue over or change. You just need to respect his decision and move on. 2
Zagan Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 Maybe he got wind that you're a grade 5 clinger, who still dates other men. 1
TheFinalWord Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 I am 18 and he is 26. He is well aware of this when we met on that dating site. He said he was looking for something serious and so was I. We hit it off really well after the date and he wants to see me again. He asked me to see him again on Saturday, but I was busy so I said I can't but rearranged the schedule. We were supposed to meet tomorrow but today, he wished me luck finding someone else and told me that he feels that I am too young for him, 8 years younger. He says he felt like a pedophile and removed me from his friends list. Why is he doing this? I feel so depressed. We were talking fine a few days ago and got along super well what can I do about this? What did you post on FB?
katiegrl Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 (edited) Wait ... is this the same guy your other thread was about? The one with whom you had a third date .... and despite sparks flying on previous dates...this third date was just meh and totally blah?. There were no sparks, you both had nothing to say ...and after less than an hour, he suddenly announced he had to leave ...and did just that? The one where you were playing hard to get, breaking dates left and right.... and then HE started doing the same? If so, then THAT's your answer. He lost interest. He realized on your third date, there was no longer any chemistry/sparks and decided to move on. Instead of telling you that, he uses the "you're too young for me excuse." Just move on. I mean you said yourself the sparks were gone anyway, right? You posted here about it and apparently on FB. So just move on.... this ship has sailed. When you get older, you will learn that we don't get every single thing in life that we want... things start, things end. You can't change it. You accept it, and move on. Lesson learned for next time. DON'T break dates with guys and play hard to get. It will backfire on ya, just like it did here. Edited August 15, 2015 by katiegrl 2
Vercetti Posted August 15, 2015 Posted August 15, 2015 Young, stacked dates every night of the week, might be into girls, Facebook drama of private issues. The return on investment is low unless perv wanting to get rocks off.
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