summerkisses Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 Confused why I'm suddenly feeling like this Hi guys. I'm back because as if recently, I feel like I'm losing my mind. My bf and I broke up almost three months ago. It was a bad breakup. We were going out for almost two years. I started nc in May but broke it when I found out he cheated on me before we ended (in which he didn't reply to my texts) Then I went back into nc since then. Each day does get a lot easier. I'm able to get out of bed and do my own tbings. However, lately I cant help but feel angry. It's been three months and I feel like I'm suppose to be over it. Before the break up, he was having problems and I was there for him through everything, out of nowhere he met this girl, who's a gold digger( friends came across her profile on sugar daddy website) and left me for her. I guess he left for her because she was fun to party with and I heard all he does is drugs every weekend and hanging out with her. Lately I can't help but feel abgry each time I think about all the things I did for him only to have him screw me over like this. How can he just forget about me after all I did for him? How is it that he's happy and living his life with this new girl and I'm left here trying to fix myself? How can he replace me so easily with someone who's obviously taking advantage of him? It's been three months and I feel so crazy for still feeling like this. Any advice on how I can get through this break up? Thanks. 1
StalwartMind Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 This may not be direct advice, but I'm sure you can draw something from the words anyway. If you turn it around, why do you care so much about this person who obviously didn't value you any higher? Don't you think your time is better spend with someone who will actually appreciate you? Now see, even to those questions, you'll have endless many different answers. Often it boils down to you "selfishly" wanting him to see things as you do. In a way you want him to agree with you, he should believe he treated you wrong and wake up and realize he is being exploited by someone who treats him worse. The thing here is that it is actually his choice however he choose to live his life and treat other people. I'm not here defending him, in fact I don't condone cheating or treating other people poorly. If any if what I write sounds harsh, it's because people choose to perceive it as such, completely ignoring all the sensible perspectives on life presented within my message. I know most of us want to be validated and appreciated, but truth is there will always be those who won't do that, and if more people actually woke up, then they would realize there is zero reason to hold on to anything which doesn't do them any good. You need to accept that someone doesn't share your views and won't see "reason". None of us have any business or right in telling others how to treat others or live our lives, however if we are smart we only/mainly spend time on those people who actually share similar core views and treat us with decency. I will not grasp why anyone would do otherwise, if you ask me, your time is much better spend thinking about creating a wonderful future. One that doesn't have room for your ex and only allow worthy people in it. There are so many stimulants in the world today, and many actually lose sight or don't know what "real value" is these days. (Again it's up to each of us to decide what that is, my view is no better than anyone else). That said because there is an overflow of options compared to even just 10-15 years ago, many people find it easier to just discard others instead of working on issues or even bother to understand how others feel. I certainly don't care much for such, I'm sure you don't either. That's just even more reason to actually not waste many thoughts on someone who isn't on the same page as you. Enjoy life while you can, it's too short to waste too many thoughts on someone who doesn't even deserve that. Find happiness on your own and eventually if you so desire, with someone else again who will fill your mind with happiness and make you forget all the "wrong doings" others have thrown at you. 1
aloneinaz Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 You're right, it's been three months now. YES, everyone heals at different paces but, you should be on the down hill side of getting over this. In these situations, I think we don't care about the person as much as we care that our ego's and self esteem are bruised from the rejection. Our brains kick into the "how dare he treat me that way and then dump me!" I felt the same way you're feeling the first month or two after getting dumped by my last ex. I immediately went NC. After a couple of months, my emotions calmed and I was able to realize NOT to care about what this person did or how she treated me. She simply was a emotionally screwed up person and I decided to NOT take her ending our toxic relationship personally. At three months now post break up, are you able to dip your toe back into the dating pool? Sitting home stewing over this ex, isn't going to get you over him. Casual dating is a good thing to get your mind of your past. It makes you realize the future has bondless positive possibilities. I started dating a couple months after my ex ended us. It REALLY helped me keep my mind busy and distracted. I dated a couple of gals for a few weeks and then met my now 2 year GF a few months later. I'm so grateful that I did this. It allowed me to tell me crazy ex "oh hell no" when she reappeared 5-6 months later, begging for another chance with me. Had I chose to stay home and not date, I have no doubt I would of considered it due to being lonely and missing the opposite sex companionship. 1
sacg Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 and then met my now 2 year GF a few months later. I'm so grateful that I did this. It allowed me to tell me crazy ex "oh hell no" when she reappeared 5-6 months later, begging for another chance with me. I love this! I so wish, in a ****ty way, i get this chance at some point, LOL. Kudos to you man
Recommended Posts