Diezel Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 You say yes or you be honest and say it's too last minute. Again, if something is TOO last minute for you, be honest about it. Just tell him. I don't get why being honest about something isn't the easiest route to go. Stop overthinking. This isn't inventing the airplane. 1
katiegrl Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 (edited) I do really like him. Here's the thing: I'm rarely "mandatory busy" at night...and when I like someone, I'd obviously rather blow off a yoga class or drinks with a group of friends to go on a date! So that makes saying "no" to last-minute dates hard!!! I'll be honest...I'm afraid if I say no to a last minute invite and suggest another day, he'll either be busy that night and the plans will fall flat, or this very minor "relationship" we have going will fizzle completely. I feel like I HAVE to go to keep the momentum going, plus, isn't it game playing if I reject a last-minute invite so I can sit at home and watch The Bachelor? I think we can all safely say this guy is obviously dating around. He's probably not looking for anything serious either...I mean, he was married ten years! He's been divorced less than a year! I'm guessing he wants to play the field. That's all fine by me. I like him and I am confident I can get this guy to date me if I'm patient and let him do his thing. Sweetie, if the relationship fizzles because he isn't into you enough or doesn't care enough to plan dates in advance...then good riddance. It sounds like you are making all sorts of concessions for this guy because he is rich and successful (and because you like him). Please stop doing that....big mistake. Huge! If you continue to be his last minute call girl, trust me he will not respect you. He will view you as his "beck and call girl." Is that what you want? Stand up for yourself and what you want. Again, by not being available at his whim (but suggesting another date).... you are sending him a message that you respect YOURSELF. And in turn you want to be treated with respect. He is probably used to women falling all over him, catering to him, blah blah. DON'T be THAT girl. Be different. Be intriguing. Be challenging. Watch how his interest increases, NOT diminishes. Trust me on this...I have learned this from experience. If he doesn't step up and start asking you out in advance, then he is NOT into you or just doesn't care, period. It's your choice whether or not you want to be with a guy who IS into you ..... or NOT into you. For me, that would NOT be a hard choice to make, and I don't give a rat's rear end how rich and/or successful he is.... Edited August 21, 2015 by katiegrl 3
Author daisybuchanan55 Posted August 22, 2015 Author Posted August 22, 2015 Katie, thanks for your awesome post. I needed to read that. I constantly tell people the SAME advice you're telling me. I guess it's important to get to the root of the problem here, which is that I am genuinely afraid if I stand up for myself, he's going to never call me again. It's really hard to have a crush on someone and have to enforce boundaries. All you want to do is hang out with them...constantly! At least, that's how I feel. As for the rich/successful thing, I always go for these types of guys...CEOs, professional athletes, etc. BTW, I feel like I'm in therapy right now, typing this all out. It's not easy to admit because it makes ME look shallow. I'm really not. I'm simply attracted to the qualities those types possess: Confident, handsome, take-charge, powerful, etc. Why do I do this...well, I'm very successful on my own so it's not like I "need" a man to pay for me. I can definitely afford whatever I want, within reason. I just want a powerful man by my side because that power thing turns me on. I'm a very forceful, big personality and it's hard to find a guy who can "handle" me. These powerful types don't take my ****. They don't let me walk all over them. For once, I don't feel like I'm running the show. With guys who are "less alpha"...I feel like it's the Daisy Show, and honestly, it gets boring. I want a guy to put me in my place. I put other people in their place ALL DAY LONG. I like feeling taken care of, feminine, etc. So, how do I reconcile the fact that the only guys I'm attracted to are these types? I guess it's either...start being attracted to a different type of guy, or learn how to tone down my eagerness when I meet someone I AM attracted to. It's just so rare that I meet them that I'm like...I get over-excited!
fitnessfan365 Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 Daisy the mistake you're making is associating personality with profession. Who a man is as a person and in a relationship has nothing to do with his career. So you need to broaden your horizons a bit.
Diezel Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 So, how do I reconcile the fact that the only guys I'm attracted to are these types? I guess it's either...start being attracted to a different type of guy, or learn how to tone down my eagerness when I meet someone I AM attracted to. It's just so rare that I meet them that I'm like...I get over-excited! Stop overthinking it. Where there's one, there's more. Stop thinking the only one in front of you is the only one you'd ever be able to go out with.
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