An0nymiss666 Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 So I was an idiot and ignored the NC rule. We broke up in January and after a month he came back but just texting and talking, etc. He doesn't live here now so no seeing him. Over all of these months he drew me in and pushed me away over and over but I knew he didn't really want me back so I have no idea how I became so intoxicated over the nice things he'd say. How gorgeous, smart and funny he thought I was yet it still "isn't what he wants right now." I did go to visit him and was fooled when he said we might be on our way to reconciling. Yeah right. I was dumb again and hung out with him last time he was in town to no avail, even though he's so good at making me feel wanted when it's not true at all. A week ago he's calling me worried about me getting out of work so late walking to my car in the dark, and telling me how pretty I look (sent him pictures), etc. and this week he blocks me and threatens a restraining order if I ever somehow contact him. Wow. Whatever. So I totally blocked him, too. So I guess this is my own fault. I'm not spending every day crying or anything like when we first split. But I almost feel as if I'm back at square one. I'm just emotionally exhausted from it all. I don't know what more I can do. I work and I'm finally going back to college near home shortly so I really won't have much spare time. I feel fine, but at the same time I don't. There isn't anybody else I want and I can't imagine life without him. I've already tried going on dates over time and whatnot and it's just not what I want. I'm not necessarily letting grass grow under my feet but I still can't imagine life without him. I don't know what else to do. I'm OK. But I guess I'll just have to be alone. I can't help but feel like there was something I could've done to prevent this so we could've actually been back together.
Simon Phoenix Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 What you need to do is finally accept the reality of the breakup. I feel that by staying in contact, you didn't do that so you basically delayed the whole recovery process. Even now, after he blocks you and threatens you with a restraining order, you're still plotting ways how you could have got him back. You're broken up. It's time to act broken up. No more cutting corners and sabotaging yourself. 3
Author An0nymiss666 Posted August 14, 2015 Author Posted August 14, 2015 I know what I have to do...I just feel as if I will never be able to accept the fact that he can make me feel so loved and wanted and then wake up the next day and tell me not to contact him again. It just doesn't make sense to me. Do I want to be with someone like that the rest of my life? No, but the unanswered questions and strange wishy washy behavior only make it so much worse. I'm glad I finally got the balls to block him out because if history repeats itself, he'll just try to come back for more whether it be tomorrow or next year. I'm so stuck between feeling relieved and feeling eaten up inside.
aloneinaz Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 [quote=An0nymiss666;6491621 So I guess this is my own fault. I'm not spending every day crying or anything like when we first split. But I almost feel as if I'm back at square one. I'm just emotionally exhausted from it all. I'm not necessarily letting grass grow under my feet but I still can't imagine life without him. I don't know what else to do. I'm OK. But I guess I'll just have to be alone. I can't help but feel like there was something I could've done to prevent this so we could've actually been back together. You've clearly learned why you should NEVER stay "friends" with someone right after they end a romantic relationship. Had you accepted his decision to end it and went NC, you'd be over it. I really think a couple of your statements about life w/out him and what you could of done to still be with him will diminish IF you decide to go hardcore NC and vanish from his life. Block him on social media and don't stalk him on it either. Only out of site, out of mind and time passing will get you past him. While there's nothing wrong w/spending some time by yourself, you should still go on casual dates as well. It can take your mind off your past.
aloneinaz Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 I just feel as if I will never be able to accept the fact that he can make me feel so loved and wanted and then wake up the next day and tell me not to contact him again. It just doesn't make sense to me. It really doesn't matter what his motives are. Maybe he's emotionally screwed up or has a personality disorder or is simply an excellent liar and manipulator. Do I want to be with someone like that the rest of my life? No, but the unanswered questions and strange wishy washy behavior only make it so much worse. I'm glad I finally got the balls to block him out because if history repeats itself, he'll just try to come back for more whether it be tomorrow or next year. I'm so stuck between feeling relieved and feeling eaten up inside. What you need to do is take this alone time and figure out why you'd want to stay in someone's life after they booted you out of a romantic R/S? Few people would do that as their self esteem and pride would tell the dumper "yea, I'm not interested in friendship at this time" and then vanished from their life. They'd of then moved onto someone who did want them. Learn from this mistake and if he reappears for you to pin over him and stroke his ego and self esteem, ignore him.
Recommended Posts