SexKitten Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Originally posted by ltomlinson81 Just wanted thank those who understand where I am coming from and to give an update: For those of you who think you only meet people in bars who are looking to hook up, I will prove you wrong. The guy I was originally asking about that I met in a bar DID call, and I saw him TWICE this past weekend. He is a perfect gentleman: sweet, kind, smart and into me. I WILL be seeing him again. As for this forum being a discussion, I completely agree. However, keep in mind that in these discussions we all come from different places. To some people the topics we discuss may seem totally absurd and out of the ordinary, but for some of us it is normal life. As an example, while single 20 and 30-somethings in, say, NYC may find it normal to spend time in bars and clubs on the weekends as a social activity and a way to meet people, there are single 20 and 30-somethings in, say, suburban Iowa who think a bar is just a seedy place to get wasted and take someone home. It just has to do with a difference of environment. Neither is right or wrong - just different. Thanks again for those of you who can identify and saw my point of view! good thing you're trying to convince us, cause what we think is all that matters.
alphamale Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Originally posted by ltomlinson81 The guy I was originally asking about that I met in a bar DID call, and I saw him TWICE this past weekend. He is a perfect gentleman: sweet, kind, smart and into me. I WILL be seeing him again. Good for you LTOMLINSON81...let us know how long it lasts.
HoldOn Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 As an example, while single 20 and 30-somethings in, say, NYC may find it normal to spend time in bars and clubs on the weekends as a social activity and a way to meet people, there are single 20 and 30-somethings in, say, suburban Iowa who think a bar is just a seedy place to get wasted and take someone home. Yeah, I'm sure all people do in surburban Iowa spend all their weekends cow tipping and counting their teeth. Whoever said that the people who disagree with you live outside the big city. It's not IMpossible to meet a quality person in a bar who is looking to date and not just hook up, it is just more improbable. You should be able to admit that if you can be honest with yourself. I live downtown in a very large city, and I've been to preppy bars, expensive bars, seedy bars and dive bars, and I'm just saying that it's not the BEST place to meet a person who actually wants a relationship instead of a hook up. It's not impossible to find that person. However, it is less probable to find that person in an alcohol-fueled environment than another place.
Female Guest Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 HI Ltomlinson, I'm sorry I was not here sooner to help you out. First of all, I would like to say that I met my boyfriend at a bar. He treated me the best of all men I have ever gone out with. He was not out for sex. while the other men I went out with were out for sex. The only reason I kept going out with him is because he treated me good. I did not meet any of the other guys I went out with at a bar, and they all treated me bad. This was the only one who wanted a relationshp. Most women would kill to be with a guy like this... he is romantic fun easy to get along with, he did all the pursuing, etc etc etc Now in the case of the man you met at a bar, the problem is not that you met him at a bar as most people here stupidly believe. and yes I think one person in particular was getting catty/nasty with you...the one with the picture of the blue toenails with one toe ring. don't remember her name. I will say that I wouldn't trust any man who asked to take me home with him the night I met him. I wouldn't trust any man who asked to take me to his place the night I met him. I have had men try to take me home with them when I met them at a christian dance. men there are after booty calls too. so it has nothing to do with location of where you met someone. the fact that he asked to take you home with him that very night is a red flag in my mind. He most likely is unfaithful when it comes to sex. he doesn't share my values and is not someone deserving of my time and company and attention whatsoever. Who knows if he will call? you will just have to wait and see. by now I am sure you know the answer. so you did not make a mistake by turning him down for the night. this is a test of his interest in you. but not a good test in my opinion. since he may try for the sex again later. sometimes guys think, she's just saying no now because she wants me to think she is a nice girl. but i'll bet she is a slut since i met her in a bar. now please don't get upset with me. i am not saying you are a slut. What i am saying is guys who think like what i just described are the ones who are sluts. I know for myself, that I test men on their character. I don't want a guy who treats women like **** or thinks of them as sluts. I know I'm not a slut. And i don't think of women as sluts either. Furthermore, to top it off, I don't like women who accuse other women of being sluts. For me, it always comes down to respect. And i can tell if someone is worthy of respect by the things they say and how they think about other people and what they say about and to them or behind their backs. so i would not respect a man who asked me to go home with him because I would think he's said or done to this other women besides me, and I bet he has a low opinion of women. I bet he treated women before me like crap and he will treat me like crap too. I don't need this. I know i can meet a great guy because I have done so already and he treated me great. Why should I submit myself to a jerk who doesn't even give a crap about me or any other women on the planet and why would i want a guy who tests women by asking them to go home with him and then when he's jacked off says I'm not a good person because I just shared something special with him? he is the one who is not special. I AM SPECIAL and that is how I expect to be treated. And i also believe women are special and should be treated that way. therefore, a man who does not treat women special does not deserve to be with a woman, does not deserve to be in her company, does not deserve sex.
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