SexKitten Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 if a guy's main purpose was to come home with you, i doubt that he would call. if he seemed like he really liked you, and you just happened to avoid him coming home with you, then it's a different story. the first one seems like your situation. it sounds like you had to actively turn him down. i doubt he will call. **i doubt he called.
scarlyjones Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 You heard the lady,................lets go.....we all have lives to get....
SexKitten Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by scarlyjones You heard the lady,................lets go.....we all have lives to get.... hahahaha, and people to go home with.
amerikajin Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Bottom line: if you're good looking, he'll at least call you - trust me. If and when he calls back, just keep this in mind: 1) If he calls and invites you to dinner and a movie at his house, you know what he's going for straight off the bat. If you want sex go for it; if you want a relationship, steer clear of this guy. It ain't in the cards. 2) If he calls and says let's meet out, the guy's probably legit dating material - at least for a short while anyway.
alphamale Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by amerikajin Bottom line: if you're good looking, he'll at least call you - trust me. that is not always true, AMERIKAJIN, i know attractive women that get blown off sometimes by dudes. it does not happen often, however.
amerikajin Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Yeah, I suppose it's possible, but I'm just thinking from my angle here. If I want to get it on with a chick, I'm calling her - period. That doesn't guarantee that we'll go out, but I'll at least call her to get a feel for her outside of the bar situation. Most dudes I know are the same way.
Author ltomlinson81 Posted May 10, 2005 Author Posted May 10, 2005 You all crack me up! I am sorry if you all can't get laid, no matter where you meet the person. Don't take it out on me! I used to like this forum because I thought the people on here were experienced and level-headed! Since when did it tun into being all about coming down on others for their sexuality or lifestyle! I am so surprised! Now it just sounds like most of you are just bitter!
westernxer Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Don't get so defensive... everyone speaks their mind here, bar none. Pun intended.
Author ltomlinson81 Posted May 10, 2005 Author Posted May 10, 2005 I am just amazed. And I am speaking my mind, too. Just like people are calling me out for talking to men in bars, I am calling you all out on being judgemental. Its just funny to me how riled up people got about this post!
alphamale Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by ltomlinson81 I am just amazed. And I am speaking my mind, too. Just like people are calling me out for talking to men in bars, I am calling you all out on being judgemental. Its just funny to me how riled up people got about this post! it is just discussion LTOMLINSON81....exactly what this forum is for. don't take anything personal.
Author ltomlinson81 Posted May 10, 2005 Author Posted May 10, 2005 Well, a lot of the responses sounded like they were getting personal to me. Either way, I don't really care. I just didn't know this would be such a hot topic!
SexKitten Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 i don't know what any of us getting laid has to do with it, but it seems to be the general consensus that a lot of us don't go to bars to get someone to screw and i don't see anything wrong with that fact. it's fine if that's the only way you can get laid. you gotta do what you gotta do, right? some people do have to depend on other people's beer goggles to be considered attractive. you have to expect a difference of opinion on a forum like this without being immature.
HoldOn Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 The difference is... We are discussing your topic (whether a guy who picks you up in a bar will call you) and we are saying our criticisms or benefits of that situation. On the other hand, you are getting upset about people expressing their opinions, which is what the forum is for. I do believe you are being too defensive. Also your attacks are personal: "I am sorry if you all can't get laid," and I haven't seen any personal attacks on you...Who, exactly, said you shouldn't talk to guys in bars? Also, I am confused because apparantly you don't want a boyfriend, you don't want to get married and you're not just looking to get laid. Then, what are you looking for?
amerikajin Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Well, the best relationship I've had to date started in an airport bar. You just meet people where you meet them. It could be in a classroom, an airplane, a bus, a baseball game, a park, the checkout line at a grocery store...or a bar. Just go out and live your life. Lots of decent people end up in a bar after work on a Friday night - and they're not always trolling for cheap sex. I think it depends largely on the initial encounter. If you went make out with some guy within the first few hours (as it often happens in a bar), then a guy won't really ever see you in a romantic light, the respect factor is diminished in that regard. But, if you make the guy wait and you allow things to progress more on your terms (i.e. building a relationship), then it's quite possible that something good will come of it.
mental_traveller Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 I agree that some of the anti-bar posts here are ridiculous. In most decent sized cities, bars are just a regular place to stop off for a while and hang out with friends or maybe meet someone. Many of them even organise dating evenings. Sure, some people go to bars purely to pick people up for meaningless sex. The other 80% go there to socialise like normal human beings with a life, and no, you don't have to pound 10 beers to have a good time. Half the posts here sound like they are written by members of the local Temperance Union! Ok, so if you live in a small town in Alabama with a population of 84, then perhaps the local bar isn't the best place to meet the guy of your dreams. But back in normal 21st century civilisation, it's a fairly regular place to meet people. As for the original post - it wouldn't make much difference. If I was interested in the woman longer-term, I'd call regardless of whether I had slept with her or not; if I had just wanted some quick no strings sex, I wouldn't call her regardless of whether I had succeeded or not.
westernxer Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by mental_traveller But back in normal 21st century civilisation, it's a fairly regular place to meet people. Not in the good ole US of A. Most people look down on bars here. Don't forget, this country once prohibited alcohol. Definitely a double standard here... is it fair? No.
leila222 Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 I am also pretty shocked at some of the posts about meeting people in bars! 'Sex Kitten', my friends and I do NOT rely on beer goggles to meet men at the bar. How was that meant to be constructive? Sounds pretty rude to me. Nice name though, very unique. 'sex kitten' how subtle. To be honest, I understand why ITOMLINSON feels so defensive.
alphamale Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer Not in the good ole US of A. Most people look down on bars here. Don't forget, this country once prohibited alcohol. Definitely a double standard here... is it fair? No. correct WESTERNXER. And most people who marry eventually don't meet at a bar. In additions studies have shown that the few couples who met at a bar and married have the highest divorce rates of couples who met in any other fashion.
SexKitten Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by leila222 I am also pretty shocked at some of the posts about meeting people in bars! 'Sex Kitten', my friends and I do NOT rely on beer goggles to meet men at the bar. How was that meant to be constructive? Sounds pretty rude to me. Nice name though, very unique. 'sex kitten' how subtle. To be honest, I understand why ITOMLINSON feels so defensive. did i say that to you? no. it was in response to the other idiot's moronic remarks, which i have a sneaking suspicion you are one and the same. in any case, move along, and get some boobs while you're at it. no reason for ITOMLINSON (you) to be so defensive...i hadn't said anything until i saw her (your) annoying remarks. and yes, my screenname in a online forum must indicate i am huge slut. here.... *******LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, BECAUSE MY NAME IS SEXKITTEN IN AN ONLINE FORUM, THIS INDICATES THAT I AM EXCEEDINLY PROMISCUOUS IN REAL LIFE. I AM SO WIDE THAT WHEN I SIT ON A BARSTOOL, I SLIDE RIGHT TO THE GROUND. I AM SO LOOSE, IN FACT, THAT I HAVE PROBABLY *****ED YOUR MAN. HENCE THE NAME--SEXKITTEN. I'M SO SLUTTY I DON'T MEOW, I RAWRRRRRR.****** now everyone who has a problem with it can shut their mouths and kiss my a$$ and get the hell over it.
amerikajin Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 can shut their mouths and kiss my a$$ Can you be at my house around 8 o'clock? I'll make you dinner.
SexKitten Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by amerikajin can shut their mouths and kiss my a$$ Can you be at my house around 8 o'clock? I'll make you dinner. oh you know me, amerikajin, i'm sexkitten, i'll ride anything. no need to make dinner, i work for free. but i'd prefer to meet in a bar.
leila222 Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 You are right SexKitten. That was a bitc&y thing for me to write. Sorry bout that.
Author ltomlinson81 Posted May 16, 2005 Author Posted May 16, 2005 Just wanted thank those who understand where I am coming from and to give an update: For those of you who think you only meet people in bars who are looking to hook up, I will prove you wrong. The guy I was originally asking about that I met in a bar DID call, and I saw him TWICE this past weekend. He is a perfect gentleman: sweet, kind, smart and into me. I WILL be seeing him again. As for this forum being a discussion, I completely agree. However, keep in mind that in these discussions we all come from different places. To some people the topics we discuss may seem totally absurd and out of the ordinary, but for some of us it is normal life. As an example, while single 20 and 30-somethings in, say, NYC may find it normal to spend time in bars and clubs on the weekends as a social activity and a way to meet people, there are single 20 and 30-somethings in, say, suburban Iowa who think a bar is just a seedy place to get wasted and take someone home. It just has to do with a difference of environment. Neither is right or wrong - just different. Thanks again for those of you who can identify and saw my point of view!
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