ltomlinson81 Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 I have a question for the guys: If you meet a girl in a bar or out somewhere and she doesn't go home with you, will that give you any additional incentive to call? Do you have any more interest or intrigue in a girl who won't go home with you, as compared to a girl that will? I met this guy this weekend at a bar, but wouldn't let him come home with me. I am hoping he'll call, but I am wondering if he will... I know this question may sound silly, but I am single for the first time in a while, and would like to know your thoughts...
alphamale Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by ltomlinson81 I met this guy this weekend at a bar, but wouldn't let him come home with me. I am hoping he'll call, but I am wondering if he will... he may call....but it will be a booty call most likely
Author ltomlinson81 Posted May 9, 2005 Author Posted May 9, 2005 Why? If I didn't go home with him why would it be a booty call? I have dated a number of guys I have met in bars, if that is what you are suggesting...
WhereSpiritsRoam Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 I would call as long as there was some interest or spark there. Whether or not she went home with me is irrelevant as long as there is dating potential there. I would actually be more attracted if the girl didn't come home with me because she had a tremendous respect for herself as opposed to just spending the night at my place for some fun.
laRubiaBonita Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 to me "going home with someone" means sleeping with them. So you are asking, if a girl does not sleep with you, will you call her? I hope you are not serious! Unless you are a prostitute or somthing!
Author ltomlinson81 Posted May 9, 2005 Author Posted May 9, 2005 I am asking if a girl does NOT go home with you, are you MORE likely to call. I'm not an idiot, just wondering if it makes a difference to men...
tiki Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 Hopefully he likes you because you DID NOT go home with him. ....if he's the right kind of guy, a gentleman.
ConfusedInOC Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 I'd not go home with her on the first date, that's for sure. Yes, I would call but would wait a few days.
alphamale Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by tiki ....if he's the right kind of guy, a gentleman. unfortunately, TIKI, gentlemen don't hang out in bars getting drunk off their a$$ and asking strange women to go home with them. this dude is after one thing only and it is not a nice home cooked meal!!! relationships that begin in a bar usually end in a bar.
tiki Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale unfortunately, TIKI, gentlemen don't hang out in bars getting drunk off their a$$ and asking strange women to go home with them. I can definitely see your point. Some people are lost, looking for their place in this world. My husband was once a bar-hopper. He's a gentleman now. Except for in bed. relationships that begin in a bar usually end in a bar. Never heard that. But I like it!!
Author ltomlinson81 Posted May 9, 2005 Author Posted May 9, 2005 When you are in your 20s and live in a big city, unfortunately, the bar is where the majority of the social scene is, alphamale. Everyone my age goes to the bar - not just town drunks. Perspective...
alphamale Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by ltomlinson81 When you are in your 20s just stop right there. that's all I need to know
Illusion24 Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 relationships that begin in a bar usually end in a bar. DITTO!!...I've seen people hook up in a club and man ithe relationship was bad. Though, I do have to say their are nice people who go to bars I mean forgoddness sake I go to bars and clubs but usually I don't go to "HOOK" up because most guys go for just "A Good Time"...
laRubiaBonita Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by ltomlinson81 When you are in your 20s and live in a big city, unfortunately, the bar is where the majority of the social scene is, alphamale. Everyone my age goes to the bar - not just town drunks. Perspective... ewww.... i think your looking from a less than scenic perspective. sure there are lots of guys in bars....but how many Gems have we actually met in bars?
alphamale Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by laRubiaBonita sure there are lots of guys in bars....but how many Gems have we actually met in bars? zero! goes for both sexes too. sounds like a good topic 4 a new thread, LRB
EC Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 I have never dated any guy I have met at a bar/ club. You know they are only looking for a good time...andin case something did happen, what fun would it be to tell your future children we met drunk at a bar? lol
Author ltomlinson81 Posted May 9, 2005 Author Posted May 9, 2005 Odd. I met my last boyfriend of 4 years in a bar... And my best friend just married her man whom she met in a bar on New Year's Eve. Sounds like you all need to get out a little more!
HoldOn Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by ltomlinson81 When you are in your 20s and live in a big city, unfortunately, the bar is where the majority of the social scene is, alphamale. Everyone my age goes to the bar - not just town drunks. Perspective... It's true that everyone GOES to the bar, but that doesn't make it the right place to meet a boyfriend! Also, there exist other places on earth (and in big cities) where people hang out. Such as the beach, parties, church, shopping districts, sport leagues, grocery stores, work, school, movies, restaurants, online, cooking classes... etc... I suggest you try a change of (social) scenery. If a guy comes up to you at a bar, you can bet your @ss he's not looking for a meaningful committed relationship.
faux Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 People in their twenties are sometimes still going to college. If this applies to you, perhaps you could try meeting people on campus. Maybe you could join some clubs in the community that are of interest to you. I wouldn't waste time trying to meet anyone decent in a bar, especially in your age range. I don't see how getting drunk, or hanging out with drunk people is going to score you a good man.
Author ltomlinson81 Posted May 10, 2005 Author Posted May 10, 2005 Oh my! You all are hilarious! I never said I have no other social life than a bar! And I never said I wanted to meet a boyfriend OR get married! I just wanted to know if you think when a girl doesn't sleep with a guy right away, regardless of where she met him, is he more or less likely to call? Do guys respect girls more who don't sleep with them right away! You people need to get lives and stop judging! I don't need a lesson in how to find a boyfriend or get married!! It was just a simple question!!
leila222 Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 I agree with itomlinson =). Me and most of my friends meet men at pubs and bars. It's nothing seedy but it really is the easiest way. They are much more likely to approach you there rather than a supermarket. But I do think you can tell what he is looking for by how the guy acts that night... So if he asks to come home with you then its USUALLY a sign that he is just looking to hook up. But not always. My friend met her current boyfriend at a bar and he asked her to go home with him and she said no. He called her next day and they have been together for awhile. If he tries really hard to get your number and pursues you but doesnt ask you home, he will probably call. Personally, if you are looking for a relationship I think its usually a mistake to hook up the first night anyways. So, not going home with the guy on first night, says something about what you are looking for. If they are looking for the same thing, they will call. Hope that makes sense and is more along the lines of what you were asking!
Author ltomlinson81 Posted May 10, 2005 Author Posted May 10, 2005 Thanks Leila! At least you know where I am coming from!! And I forgot the most important part - the guy DID call and we are going out this weekend. Thanks everyone!
billybadass36 Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Back to the original question: I'd be more likely to call for a real date if I didn't go home with the girl. If I went home with the girl, I'd assume she was just looking for a hookup. Besides, I'd assume that I wasn't the first (or the last) guy to go home with her after having met mere hours earlier at the bar. Nothing wrong with that if that's what you're looking for, but for most guys I know there are women you date (potential marriage material), and there are women you hook up with (potential booty calls). Those two circles rarely coincide for me and most of my friends. The old madonna/whore complex is alive and well.
TouchedByMoreThanAnA Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by laRubiaBonita but did you marry that last bf? no. I'm marrying my fiance whom I met in a bar. She was eating a salad and I was drinking a glass of Sam Adams. She was on her way home from work and I was on my way to see my parents. You people crack me up....Like normal, good people don't go to bars. When did LS get so hipocritical?
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