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Who asks who out


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Posted

So if a man asks you out and you are busy and can't make it is it your turn as a woman to follow up and ask out or should the man ask again... And what if your busy a few times in a row and you are interested should you ask or wait for him

Posted

Depends on who is interested in pursuing things, how coy either party is being or if their is a risk of rejection that somebody is unwilling to take due to illusions of a power game etc.

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Posted

Well I am interested but don't want to chase

Posted
So if a man asks you out and you are busy and can't make it is it your turn as a woman to follow up and ask out or should the man ask again... And what if your busy a few times in a row and you are interested should you ask or wait for him

 

He's done his job. You are not showing to him that you are interested, but quite the other way around.

 

Ask him out.

Posted

I can't imagine telling a guy I was interested in that I was "busy".

 

Sure, I might say that the proposed day etc doesn't work for me, but I WOULD make other suggestions, or follow up with a text or call if I DID want to go out with them.

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Posted

Right that's what I thought I didn't suggest further options thanks makes sense .. He hadn't called in a week so....

Posted

Just next time tell him when you are free. You could try sending him a text or something along the lines of "I forgot to tell you I'm free xxxxxx" but the damage might be done at this point. =/

  • Like 1
Posted

You should have counter-offered with another day/time. If they ask you and you just turn them down flat, busy or not, the good, intuitive ones will think you are not interested.

  • Like 3
Posted

Just saying you are busy without also expressing interest in getting together another time definitely communicates disinterest.

 

I'm a confident guy, but I personally wouldn't ask you again once you gave me the impression you weren't interested.

 

When I ask a girl out I always have a plan B that I can offer if plan A doesn't work. If she turns me down on both of them and doesn't come out and tell me she is interested I will strike her from my list of prospects.

Posted

Think of it from his perspective.

He has asked you out, but got rejected with the classic "I'm busy" with no alternative suggestion. Why would he follow that up?

  • Like 1
Posted

"I can't do this Saturday but are you free next Friday?" All that needs to be said. If you know you're going to be busy then you should know what days/nights you're most likely to be busy on so either let him know that or just give him the options of what days work for you when you're free.

Posted

Most women still feel its the guys role

Posted

By suggesting an alternative date when you are available, you aren't chasing. You are communicating to find a mutually convenient time.

 

 

When a man asks you out for a specific date if you are busy that day & do not suggest an alternative most men will properly conclude that you are not interested because the polite thing to do is provide a different date / continue the dialogue if you are interested. Sitting there like a bump on a log worked in the 1950s. That decade is long past.

 

 

At this point you have not heard from this man in a week because he interpreted your behavior / failure to respond as "buzz off" so he did. If you want to date him now your only choice is to reach out, suggest a day & time. You also need to pay. Because you played this incorrectly if you want to date him you must chase him because he has concluded you don't like him & only a bold move on your part as opposed to coy games based on antiquated gender roles will fix this.

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