laelithia Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Hi everyone, It's been about a month since he decided to end the relationship. We initially did NC for a week, and after that he ended it. We kept in little contact for a while, until recently he would text me every day. Last night after we had been texting back and forth, I said "Today's a month since you and me. Do you still think it was the best decision?" He don't respond to that but I figured maybe he went to bed. Then today, when it was clear he was ignoring it, I said "I didn't mean to make things awkward...I really was just looking for an answer. Have a good day" and of course nothing. I don't understand why he couldn't have answered "yes, it was for the best" or "yes, but I still want to be friends/talk to you/whatever". I just don't get it
Author laelithia Posted August 13, 2015 Author Posted August 13, 2015 Would it be okay so send him a message saying I would be fine with him saying its for the best? I just don't understand the silent treatment when he was the one texting me. It's so rude
Simon Phoenix Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Would it be okay so send him a message saying I would be fine with him saying its for the best? I just don't understand the silent treatment when he was the one texting me. It's so rude No. Leave him alone. You're broken up -- stop chasing closure. Move forward -- stop looking back. 4
jen1447 Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 It sounds like he doesn't want to 'go there' - talk about feelings and BU issues and romance-oriented stuff. Were your other talks just weather and time of day type stuff?
quattrob Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Would it be okay so send him a message saying I would be fine with him saying its for the best? I just don't understand the silent treatment when he was the one texting me. It's so rude No answer should be a pretty clear answer in itself.. Stop pestering him, you got your answer. And read what Simon posted. Move on with your life already.
LoveIsMyReligion Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Doesn't sound like a nice person. Remove him from your life like you would cancer.
Author laelithia Posted August 13, 2015 Author Posted August 13, 2015 It sounds like he doesn't want to 'go there' - talk about feelings and BU issues and romance-oriented stuff. Were your other talks just weather and time of day type stuff? I think you're right. He just responded but made no mention of my question. We talk about each other's work, what we're up to that day, shared interests, that kind of thing. When he responded today it was about work
aloneinaz Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Ok, not to be a wise guy, but; how's staying in daily contact with someone who doesn't want to date you or be w/you anymore going? I can't see where it's doing you any good nor allowing you to move on. Clearly, he's not interested in dating you but he's bored and has no one new (yet) so, he is using you to keep him busy and occupied. Personally, this is the polar opposite of what you should be doing. You should reply to him the next time he contacts you with "ya know, I need some time and space away, thus, I'm going to say goodbye and wish you good luck". Then vanish and ignore him. You're never going to get over this nor move on w/your life by staying in contact like you are.
jen1447 Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 I think you're right. He just responded but made no mention of my question. We talk about each other's work, what we're up to that day, shared interests, that kind of thing. When he responded today it was about work Yeah, that makes it seem pretty clear. I can see both sides honestly. His - if he doesn't want to have a relationship with you, he'll naturally feel uncomfortable discussing relationship-type things and I don't think you can blame him for that. Yours - it's rude not to answer you, and genuine friends don't shun each other on topics they don't like. It's also a bit dehumanizing not to be acknowledged. I personally think exes can be friends but it doesn't work well until the feelings have all been dealt with. That means two things - honesty and boundaries. You two sound like you're winging it, but what should happen is you sit down and agree to boundaries while reassuring each other that you won't turn your back on each other. And mean it. And respect the boundaries as well.
Author laelithia Posted August 15, 2015 Author Posted August 15, 2015 Well, he still continues to talk to me and asked if I could go golfing with him sometime. It's just so odd considering he was the one that originally asked for a clean break
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