Plaster Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 So hello loveshack. I dissappeard for a little while as I was obsessively on this forum and I felt it wasn't doing my healing any good, but I am now back as I'm in a rut. To sum things up; 2 year relationship, ended 4 months ago, had 2.5 months no contact. This ended about 3 weeks or so ago vwhen she text me. As I had been thinking about her a lot that morning I decided to reply and long story short we met for a catch up. This went horribly wrong. I was nervous and I got emotional (as did she). So I felt awful for about a week. Then a week later, she started sending me naughty pics of her, and we met to have sex, although as she has a boyfriend she got cold feet and couldn't go through with it. She blocked me on everything after this and has dissappeard. Now as you can imagine that changed where I was during the NC. Not that that's a bad thing, as I had convinced myself that I hated her, that I didn't want her, which is obviously not the case. Seeing her made me realise what she is to me, I genuinely do love her and we have a connection and I really miss her as my best friend. She has said she sees us together again but we both need to heal first and I understand that, as I did hurt her and take her for granted during our relationship. I'm not sure what I'm looking for from this post. Just to vent I suppose. I'm still depressed, it's been the same throughout the NC too, I just figured how to deal with it better. I have drastically changed my life too, new car, new clothes, old friends, gym, kickboxing, I look and feel (physically) better than I have before. There is just something missing, and it's her. I've slept with plenty of women in this time as a single man, I though I fell for a girl at the gym, but after the chase, and getting what I wanted, it just turned out that I didn't want her, I wanted my ex. So where do I go? Oh another question, I feel guilty to my exs parents, they loved me and thought highly of me and vice versa, my ex said they hate me for what I did to her (emotionally, I can see how she's changed since we were together) and I want to apologise to them, for me more than anything. I think that will help me on the path to forgiving myself ( I still don't forgive myself for ruining this relationship) Hope this makes sense guys!
Recommended Posts