Illusion24 Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 See kids, breaking NC is a NO NO!!! Bad, bad thing! We're not kids...but I know what you mean...
demonfall Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 Strange. I just got a call from my ex today too. A week after removing her number from my cell. She called to see how I was doing since I've been in NC for a while now. Don't know why I answered it. She's been busy getting drunk 3 or 4 nights a week, getting new tatoos and her nipples re-pierced. So, nothing that would make me want her back. Though she did mention that she slept with her best friend (a girl), who is now not talking to her. Didn't mention anything about other guys though. Not sure how I feel about any of this at the moment. I know I still love her, but I am fine with not seeing her. Phone calls with her don't seem to bother me as much as they used to. I don't know how I would feel if I saw her in person though. Everything may came flooding back, so I try to avoid that.
UCFKevin Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 See kids, breaking NC is a NO NO!!! Bad, bad thing! Nah. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. Don't lump it all because you're the one getting f*cked in the ass, metaphorically speaking. And look at the good it's been doing you. You're still absolutely miserable, you post about her all the time. You aren't exactly moving on, are you?
outdated Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 Couldn't agree more UFCKevin, I like a good dose of NC followed by a random text message about something stupid, just to keep them on their feet. If they don't respond, who cares? It shows that there's no hard feelings. Things end. Deciding to keep someone at arms length the rest of your life after they were the center of it for so long seems ridiculous. Contacting them all the time is even more ridiculous. But once in a while... just make sure it's not "Come back baby! I love you so, I want to smother you and make babies." That doesn't work. I always feel better even if they don't respond (they always do) because I show I'm not bitter and am extending at least a little bit of good will. I don't find that breaking it occasionally helps you heal any slower. You have to face reality- that's when you heal. Not because you crap your pants at the thought of your ex's voice.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 9, 2005 Author Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by UCFKevin Nah. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. Don't lump it all because you're the one getting f*cked in the ass, metaphorically speaking. And look at the good it's been doing you. You're still absolutely miserable, you post about her all the time. You aren't exactly moving on, are you? Of course I post about her, this is a recent break up and it's my only perspective.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 9, 2005 Author Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by outdated Couldn't agree more UFCKevin, I like a good dose of NC followed by a random text message about something stupid, just to keep them on their feet. If they don't respond, who cares? It shows that there's no hard feelings. Things end. Deciding to keep someone at arms length the rest of your life after they were the center of it for so long seems ridiculous. Contacting them all the time is even more ridiculous. But once in a while... just make sure it's not "Come back baby! I love you so, I want to smother you and make babies." That doesn't work. I always feel better even if they don't respond (they always do) because I show I'm not bitter and am extending at least a little bit of good will. I don't find that breaking it occasionally helps you heal any slower. You have to face reality- that's when you heal. Not because you crap your pants at the thought of your ex's voice. What's the point of keeping someone close to you that doesn't want you? Prolongng the torture? It's hard to move on if you're being fed little crumbs (dragging things along) when you want the whole cake.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 9, 2005 Author Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by demonfall Strange. I just got a call from my ex today too. A week after removing her number from my cell. She called to see how I was doing since I've been in NC for a while now. Don't know why I answered it. She's been busy getting drunk 3 or 4 nights a week, getting new tatoos and her nipples re-pierced. So, nothing that would make me want her back. Though she did mention that she slept with her best friend (a girl), who is now not talking to her. Didn't mention anything about other guys though. Not sure how I feel about any of this at the moment. I know I still love her, but I am fine with not seeing her. Phone calls with her don't seem to bother me as much as they used to. I don't know how I would feel if I saw her in person though. Everything may came flooding back, so I try to avoid that. In that case, taking the call was a good thing because it solidified your decision to move on. With me, I know the feelings will take some time to subside....
YouGotServed Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC In that case, taking the call was a good thing because it solidified your decision to move on. With me, I know the feelings will take some time to subside.... I thought you said to keep NC and that NC was the best thing. Well, your not the only one Confused now, I am ConfusedYouGotServed....
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 9, 2005 Author Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by YouGotServed I thought you said to keep NC and that NC was the best thing. Well, your not the only one Confused now, I am ConfusedYouGotServed.... Sorry, I know that can be pretty confusing. In his case, she pretty much confirmed he made the right choice. Doesn't happen that often. Stick to NC, trust me on this. I should have listened to my own advice and didn't and now I am suffering the consequences....
babybear Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 CONFUSED: There are few of us out there that haven't broken NC!!! Don't feel bad about it! BUT, girls and guys alike have this ego/power thing where they need to dangle themselves in front of you just to make sure YOU don't move on or get over them. If she broke up with you and is dating someone else, WTF is she calling for??? He can talk to her about her problems now, ya know? It's hard not to get a little hopeful when they DO contact you...and you start to think, yea...she IS starting to miss me. So...as long as you realize these little games, maybe it'll help you with the NC. Good luck! Babybear
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 9, 2005 Author Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by babybear CONFUSED: There are few of us out there that haven't broken NC!!! Don't feel bad about it! BUT, girls and guys alike have this ego/power thing where they need to dangle themselves in front of you just to make sure YOU don't move on or get over them. If she broke up with you and is dating someone else, WTF is she calling for??? He can talk to her about her problems now, ya know? She emailed me twice, so I had to answer the email. She left a message so I decided to call (Bad move on my part). She was on a date. Then she called me back to tell me she spent her B'Day at a Comedy Club with this guy. Ok, I spent weeks planning her birthday and she spends it with someone new?! That's a stab in the heart. A big one.... It's hard not to get a little hopeful when they DO contact you...and you start to think, yea...she IS starting to miss me. So...as long as you realize these little games, maybe it'll help you with the NC. Good luck! Babybear Yeah I know they are. I should have never broken NC. What a stupid, stupid move on my part. Now I have to start all over. The good thing is my business partner has someone he's been trying to introduce me to. She's interested in talking tonight and tonight is not a good time to talk. Of course, that's for another thread. Thanks BB. I made a boo boo and should have never taken that call today. Argh.
Pocky Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC 1. The love of your life telling you "I love you, I'm just not in love with you" and breaking things off abruptly, or... 2. Finding out they are dating someone less than a few weeks after your breakup? In regards to #2, I think THAT is had something to do with #1...... Thank the Lord for NC. Stick with it, folks. No good comes from trying to hold on to someone that doesn't want to be in your life.... I don't see either as a smack in the face.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 9, 2005 Author Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by Pocky I don't see either as a smack in the face. How about 3) Spends the birthday you had been planning for her for weeks with a guy she just started seeing.
RecordProducer Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 You're still obsessed with your ex and she is not really with you so... I know that you're hurt but I also know she is not so hurt as she doesn't have the same feelings for you. Just stop thinking about her.
outdated Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC What's the point of keeping someone close to you that doesn't want you? Prolongng the torture? It's hard to move on if you're being fed little crumbs (dragging things along) when you want the whole cake. I agree with you if you're hung up on the person. I have bad days too, but in the end, I've accepted the fact that our relationship is over. I know there's no going back. Like your quote says let them walk. And that's fine. But the truth of the matter is that we were together and had a great relationship. And now that part is over, but I don't want her crumbs or her cake. I want someone else, but she didn't treat me bad and I'm not bitter enough to hate her. I don't find myself healing quicker when I don't talk to her. She actually having a harder time than me. Go figure.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 9, 2005 Author Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer You're still obsessed with your ex and she is not really with you so... I know that you're hurt but I also know she is not so hurt as she doesn't have the same feelings for you. Just stop thinking about her. I know. Easier said than done....
Pocky Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC How about 3) Spends the birthday you had been planning for her for weeks with a guy she just started seeing. You're not her boyfriend - she should spend her birthday with whomever she wants.
jp13370 Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Why is she still contacting you when she's seeing someone new? Does she know how you feel about her and she wants to keep you there just in case this new guy doesn't work out? Go to her purse, take back your cojones, stop talking to her and find a girl who will appreciate you. She's playing you.
demonfall Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC In that case, taking the call was a good thing because it solidified your decision to move on. With me, I know the feelings will take some time to subside.... Well... About 2 hours later I was a mess again. I know I'm not over her yet, and I hate it. I had to go to work, and I had a hard time thinking straight. That's a bad thing, 'cause I'm a line cook and I need to think clearly to get the food out quickly. I couldn't stop thinking about why she would contact me. Just checking up on me? To see if I was with anyone else? She says she just wanted to see how I have been doing, but what made her do that? She keeps telling me how much she drinks now, and I don't know why. It's like she's proud of it or something. Don't know if it's a ****ed up cry for help or something or if she really is more disturbed then I had realized. I've calmed down quite a bit now, and am back in NC. If she wants to call, then so be it.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 10, 2005 Author Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by demonfall Well... About 2 hours later I was a mess again. I know I'm not over her yet, and I hate it. I had to go to work, and I had a hard time thinking straight. That's a bad thing, 'cause I'm a line cook and I need to think clearly to get the food out quickly. I couldn't stop thinking about why she would contact me. Just checking up on me? To see if I was with anyone else? She says she just wanted to see how I have been doing, but what made her do that? She keeps telling me how much she drinks now, and I don't know why. It's like she's proud of it or something. Don't know if it's a ****ed up cry for help or something or if she really is more disturbed then I had realized. I've calmed down quite a bit now, and am back in NC. If she wants to call, then so be it. Im with you man. I took that call and I should not have.......and now I am paying for it dearly. I'm back to NC for good. I need my life back and I can't have it center on her..
Jennifer'sSecret Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 I'd take either of those over the relationship ending due to lying or cheating. Amen! Originally posted by blind_otter This is why NC is such a great thing. Then, #2 is a non-issue. Amen again!!
westernxer Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 A smack in the face is a smack in the face... if it doesn't hurt, then it'll just piss you off.
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