Do you have the responsibility to remind someone that you owe them money?

[warrenorabbits]

I just got done balancing my chequing account when I noticed that a PayPal payment I'd made to one of my relatives had been returned to me -- expired. This isn't the first time a similar thing has happened; a few times I've given her a cheque as reimbursement for a bill we shared and she cashed it either months later or not at all.

 

Since I told her I was paying her back, and since she's a middle-aged adult and not senile (or so I assume), do I need to send her another payment/cheque since she failed to cash the first one? Or should I just assume that her lack of action means that she doesn't care and move on? On one hand, as an adult she ought to take responsiblilty for her finances; the thought that I'm obligated to be her personal assistant and remind her about such matters is a frustrating one. On the other hand, I'd feel a little bit guilty if I didn't remind her, especially since she is (too?) generous and since this particular payment was for money she wired me when I lost my wallet abroad.

 

What would you do in my shoes?

[mystikmind2005]

Think of it as an opportunity to show her that you are a good trustworthy person by reminding her.

 

That kind of thing will always be appreciated

 

Generosity is something that should be given willingly, never taken.

[Qboro90]

Classy mature move would be to text or call letting them know you just noticed that the payment was sent back. You wanted to check and see if maybe it went through or if something got scrambled up and hence it was returned. Ask if they would like you to try again via PayPal or if it's easier for them if you mail them a check.

 

Don't take this as an opportunity to get away with not paying them. Remember they did YOU a favor by sending you money when you lost your wallet. So the right thing to do is give them a courtesy call and offer them the chance to either tell you to resend or not to worry about it (you might get lucky if they're the kind of relative that is very giving, but don't take advantage of that and just assume you're off Scott free with paying them back). Do the right thing

[warrenorabbits]

You're both right. I'll compromise. I'm going to remind her one more time for courtesy.

[warrenorabbits]

But in the future, what are my responsibilities? Of course I don't want to cheat her, but I'm also not responsible for reminding her and/or making sure she accepts the money.

 

I also don't want to repay her exclusively in cash ...

 

I guess if I nag hard enough, she'll eventually concede and take what's rightfully hers ... how funny that my predicament is the opposite of most people's