Otter2569 Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Some of you know the emotional roller coaster I have been on lately. Well we leave for family vacation (her kids and my kids, a week in a beach house) in 3 days. We couldnt even keep it together that long. Sure it started great: we made dinner together, she showed me all the food she bought for our vacation, we made a to do list then sat down with a cocktail to watch tv. And then it happened: she made a snotty comment about how I never sincerely apologize and we were off to the races. 2+ hours of circular conversation and nonsense. Her last words were F -You and I am sleeping on the couch. This morning I decided I have had enough verbal abuse, packed my car in the middle of the night and in the morning I showered and drove off. Dont think it will be much of a vacation next week!
Gloria25 Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 You know, when I pick someone to be in a RL with me, I do not want someone to cause me grief...I have enough problems of my own and the world on my shoulders. So, if someone who is supposed to be a support for me - where I run to for solace, comfort, support, and caring from is causing me grief, they can get the heck out of my life. I rather be alone than in bad company... 5
Author Otter2569 Posted August 13, 2015 Author Posted August 13, 2015 Gloria, I am with you sister. For some reason I go the extra mile and almost always regret it. I absolutely hate fighting but i wont be pushed around either. So when she started accusing me of enjoying this, dismissing me, cutting me off and making insane comments I realized that she had become the abuser from her last relationship. All her counseling has not helped her. I knew walking would kill her but dam it felt good packing my **** and driving away!
craw Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Not sure what the argument was about, but why bring up the past like that? Odd. I don't understand, did you leave your kids behind when you left in the morning?
Author Otter2569 Posted August 13, 2015 Author Posted August 13, 2015 She brought it up because she feels that she never got a genuine or sincere apology for a fight we had a few weeks ago. You have to understand that she can blast away and say anything she wants to me because "thats what she is feeling". I on the other hand couldnt finish a sentence without her cutting me off. I was at her house. My kids were with my ex. We are / were supposed to leave this saturday. Of course i just gave her a check for my half of the rental too!!!
bubbaganoosh Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Let her know if she contacts you that her problem is she can dish it out with the best of them but can't take it when it's given back. I lived with my ex wife who was like that and it ain't fun so if I were you I would keep driving. It won't get better. You can't teach a old dog new tricks 2
Methodical Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Moth to the flame, Otter. You're the moth and she's the flame. You are drawn to her, knowing you're gonna get burned. She settles down to a slow smolder for a SHORT time, and when the least bit of a breeze blows, she re-iginites to a full burning fire, often times to a raging inferno. You've said when things are good between you, they are really good, the sex is amazing, etc. The problem is the good times are so few and far between I'm wondering if it's worth it. She loves drama, so much so that she'll dig up bones that have been buried just to have something to gnaw on again. I'm not sure how you have managed to persevere as long as you have . 1
Grumpybutfun Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Drama is boring to me...some people thrive on it. I always tell my kids, if it isn't easy in the beginning, expect hell in your future. Arguments should get resolved and moved on from...no looking back and no bringing up the past. If they do, you know you are with a drama queen/king. Might be time to call the time of death on this relationship, man. G 2
Author Otter2569 Posted August 13, 2015 Author Posted August 13, 2015 She can so dish it out! Its yelling, swearing, crying for hours. If you've ever been in that situation you know what its like. I logged more time fighting with her and sleeping on her couch in 1+ years with her than I did in my 18 years of marriage. We all have bad days and we all F up once in a while we couldnt go a week without a blood bath.
Just a Guy Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Hi Otter, How did you two get together and what is the reason for you to stay together? Are you married to her? I'm sorry I haven't seen any of your older posts so I do not know your story. What I do know is that if I was in your place I would make tracks to the moon if necessary to get away from her. Why do you want turmoil in your life after 18 years of a marriage which ended in a divorce? I would look for someone who was quiescent in nature and not a volcano. Warm wishes.
CarrieT Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Otter, after you broke-up the first time, I was really surprised you got back together and tried again. Doesn't all this fighting and angst seem obvious to you that - ultimately - this relationship isn't going to work out? It seems like you are the one that is trying to make it work, at least. I'm not sure what she does that makes you so happy other than the wild sex (but gets mad at you buying a sex toy!?!?) 1
Diezel Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Co-dependent. Clap clap clap clap clap. Co-dependent. Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap. And I only know because I used to be one.
Author Otter2569 Posted August 14, 2015 Author Posted August 14, 2015 (edited) Carrie, after the last time its been amazing...until the last few weeks. Yeah we have plenty of wild sex but she is also fun, thoughtful, caring, loving, spiritual, adventurous, sensitive and does a lot of very nice things for me. The toy under normal circumstances would not have been an issue but she found it after she found other womens things in my house and didnt like some of the messages i was getting from a woman friend on FB so she was very suspect. Fighting however - different story: Its a bloodbath. I do try more than I should but I dont take a lot of ****, believe it or not. However, when i see a person I think is truly good and gives so much i do give more chances than i should. Once the disillusionment starts I am usually on the way out. I start pulling back and planning my next move. They dont know that I am ****ing them from behind while I am packing my bag and updating my online dating profile. I almost always get the final say and that is the one that stings the most. Edited August 14, 2015 by Otter2569
Cali408 Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 Otter, There are a lot of women out there who are great to fall in love with. Then the real person comes out. I know the sex is great, but you can't f the crazy out of them
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