How do some people jump from one relationship to the next?

[veryconfusedone]

I don't get it. I really don't. You have certain people who are in a relationship for a little while, break up then they're in a relationship with someone else the next week. It seems to be an ongoing pattern.

 

My questions are, where do these people find and meet the people to always be in a relationship with? It's not like every person you meet is also attracted to you. Yet with these certain people, they have no problems finding someone to be in a relationship with.

[MissBee]

I don't get it. I really don't. You have certain people who are in a relationship for a little while, break up then they're in a relationship with someone else the next week. It seems to be an ongoing pattern.

 

My questions are, where do these people find and meet the people to always be in a relationship with? It's not like every person you meet is also attracted to you. Yet with these certain people, they have no problems finding someone to be in a relationship with.

 

I was just talking to my sister about this as a cousin of ours is this way, she's in her twenties but ever since high school she has had a revolving door of boyfriends, she's been married, that might have lasted a year, he disappeared and now she's "in love" with some new guy. Now for me, many of these men are men I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, so I chalk part of it up to the reality which is that, if you just want a bf/gf but aren't fussy about who, then it will be fairly easy for you to hop from relationship to relationship.

 

As for me, for me to be in a relationship means I REALLY like a man and not only like him, but he matches my criteria for what I want in a long term partner. This simply cannot be most men, hence I date way more than I have legitimate relationships, as the kind of man I'd seriously be with isn't really someone who comes around every 5 minutes. In some ways I am envious of those who seem to be able to fall in love at the drop of a hat, one after the other and serially date, but I accept that that's just not me.

 

So far though, in my observation of most of the people who can do this (an ex of mine was also this way), often the relationships tend to be superficial and they are in love with the CONCEPT of love or of a person and don't really care who it is so can easily substitute any warm body when one expires, so to speak.

[Gloria25]

Excellent response from MissBee...

 

The only thing I don't agree with is the fact that I am so freakin' glad I do not "fall in loooove" like those types of flakey people.

 

I mean, IMO, it sucks if your happiness is solely based on someone else. Get a life already.

 

And, IMO, these people do not make great partners either...cuz they are insecure, desperate, controlling, and clingy. They were never happy on their own, so when they find someone, they wanna hold on tight to them - which probably ends up in them pushing them away...ummm, probably why they have to keep on jumping from person to person - cuz they hold on too tight.

 

IMO, these people - even in RLs aren't happy. Cuz, they chose out of desperation, fears of being alone, got someone who is also needy/dependent and/or not that attractive, and/or got just "anybody" - they end up with someone they really didn't wanna be with (settling), but did so in hopes that the person is so needy, desperate, dependent, and/or unattractive to others that the person will never leave them...But, after a while, it grows old and they either one or both parties want out.

[candie13]

I'm picky, I dunno, I cannot answer that question. I've always had rather lengthy streaks of time in between RS. My last ex was a bit like that - jumping from one RS to the next. In his specific case, I think that happened for several reasons: he feared or hated being single, he was putting a lot of pressure on himself for being 38 and with no family and he wasn't that picky when it came to women.

 

In my part of the world, men who want a serious RS are rare. I think finding a man in the right RS mindset and with a decent professional situation is very attractive to a lot of women, especially to women in their mid-late 30s. Basically, in my humble opinion, the only reason why a man jumps from one RS to the next, is because he can .

 

Women seem to forget to check if that guy wants a RS with them, if the guy really likes them, or if any other woman just like them would do. Makes me cringe. Those chicks get a RS alright, hell they may even get a baby or two, but they never will get love or a true emotional connection. In all honesty, none of his RS lasted over a year and a half and all chicks moved out of his place eventually... except of the one with me - I lasted 5 months and never lived with him. Speaking of achievements, hahaha

 

I guess my point is... being in a RS is not such a big accomplishment. Being in a happy, stable and loving RS is . Focus on yourself and let that guy do his own thing. His stuff to deal with. One thing I can tell you - if those girls were that great, he would have been with one of them in the first place, instead of dating you. Do the math: if they were waiting for him to become single and he was seeing you... seems to me like you were the favorite, no ? Don't torture yourself, you cannot fix him or understand him.

[spicegang1234]

hello,i maybe have a lot of experience in love and thats the only question i cat understand

[carhill]

How do some people jump from one relationship to the next?

 

It's not always a jump because everything isn't always as it seems

 

Compartmentailzation

 

Thinking relationships

 

Specific attachment styles which facilitate rapid movement

 

Mental illness

 

Etc

[mystikmind2005]

My observation is that people, especially guys, put on a big FAKE act at the start and know the right BS women want to hear.

 

So women jump from relationship to relationship chasing that fake guy who seems to always evaporate into an ass after a period of time. Men jump from relationship to relationship because they continue attracting women with their fake persona and so the relationship has no long term future, but still they never learn, because its all about how to get up front success, they don't think about long term.

[hotpotato]

A week? No, a lot of these people are dating the new person and the soon to be ex at the same time. They meet them probably the same way the met the soon to be ex!

 

Also, its hard for sone people to be single. A lot of people can avoid the post break up blues by jumping from one rs to the next

[Arieswoman]

It's "monkey branching" because they can't bear to be alone.