Is my boyfriend overreacting? Or me?

[Pilot_jones]

so yesterday morning i woke up at 10:45am. Mind you that I am 27 weeks pregnant. & i was feeling super fatigue, which is common during pregnancy. so i was in & out of sleep for a few hours. but throughout that time, whenever i was awake i was texting my boyfriend (father of my child) i told him that i was feeling fatigued & plus my mind was racing because my mom was finding out her results today about her chest tumor, to see if it was cancerous or not. he knew this. i fell asleep about 2-3 times, he was out with his son getting him a hair cut & doing whatever else. so he was occupied. he then complained to me about how i was "ignoring" him. not once but multiple times. through text, over the phone & during facetime. i'm like well, my bad, i told you that i was in & out of sleep, & was extremely fatigue. which plays a big part in pregnancy. he kept pushing the issue over & over. like i said, through text, over the phone, & on ft. & i'm like "hush, you act like someone else is taking my attention away from you. & it's not like i'm busy. I have a conversation with you for a while whenever i am awake, I already told you how I was feeling today, why are you making it into a big deal" I swear to God I didn't say it with an attitude. his response was "don't tell me to hush, I'm trying to explain to you how I feel & I'm serious" I had to tell him that i wasn't telling him to hush in a bad way. & that i didn't understand why he was being so defensive. Because we tell each other "hush" with out a problem on different occasions. his response was "I've been texting you, & you've been ignoring me. when my attention is all on you & i stop talking to other people like you asked (fyi: I had to argue), you don't appreciate it, now when i take my attention off of you don't say anything" I felt disrespected by what he said, because basically the people he stopped talking to were the girls who he cheated on me with, that he felt the need to be "friends" with or still associate with, like nothing ever happened.

 

we text day in & day out, face time, fall asleep on FaceTime & I send him multiple pictures everyday. so the one day i'm "not feeling" it, there's an issue? but on Saturday, he stopped texting me at like 9pm, & didn't respond until like 2 in the morning talking bout he fell asleep because he was off lean (codeine syrup that people use for street drugs, something like xans) knowing I hate when he does that bull ****! but I did not complain or snap out one bit, I was out to eat with my sisters & was still having a cool conversation with him on FaceTime.

 

so i finally snapped out because I didn't think it was fair, I felt like he was nitpicking! According to him he had a problem, & he felt like I neglected his problem, & he's "done" with me. But I honestly don't understand why it was a problem to begin with? after everything was said & done, he blocked me from calling & texting him. I ended up finding out that my moms tumor was cancerous, which crushed me. I had to text him from a different number just to tell him the news & how I felt like he was being unfair & ridiculous. & his only response was "You could've simply handled my problem, but you wanna turn it around, so stop texting me" I've told him so many times that I feel like he hasn't been giving the the least bit of emotional support that a pregnant women needs. he's not understanding, & he's not considerate.

Edited August 12, 2015 by Pilot_jones
missing words

[mystikmind2005]

I am guessing he thinks your a hypocrite?

 

Guys tend to get caught up in that way of thinking that things have to be fair, and whatever standards the woman sets, he will hold her too it.

 

It is not a very constructive attitude to have.... and what is fair in his mind is a matter of perspective and it is all twisted by pride (on both sides)

[Michelle ma Belle]

You should have used a condom. Now you're bound to this guy for all eternity.

[m4p]

first of all, please remember nothing is more important right now than you and your unborn baby.

 

As for your boyfriend, I agree that he is nitpicking.

 

I am reminded of me with one of my ex when i was younger. Then, we were together for a few years but I was slowly losing feelings for him. I wanted out yet I couldn't do it directly. instead, I took the cowardly way by getting angry over the tiniest things and it didnt take long before I "seized a chance" over one insignificant matter and ended things with him.

 

I have a feeling your boyfriend might be doing this to you right now. I hope not though, but be mentally prepared.

 

You need to speak to him and ask him what exactly is he trying to do. If he "is done", tell it to your face and not make things difficult for the both of you, especially when you are pregnant right now.

 

(that too, consider the whole past cheating and drug usage thing, is that something you can accept in future?)

 

outsiders never know the whole story and dynamics of a relationship, only you can evaluate this yourself.

 

Also, hope your mom is okay!!

[Qboro90]

This guy you're with is the definition of a controlling/obsessive boyfriend. He cannot deal with you not replying to him instantly or falling asleep during a text convo because of his own insecurities and guilt from his cheating and infidelity behavior in the past.

 

You need to sit down with him and explain that you talk to him an excessive amount each day and if you cannot take a nap without him getting upset or doubting you then this relationship has serious problems and you need to take action on working out a way to solve them or if he's unwilling then you have a decision to make. Him telling you that he's stopped talking to other girls (the ones he cheated on you with) and acting like he's Doing you a favor by doing that is manipulative behavior and you need to know that you have every right to expect his loyalty and devotion to solely you if you're his Gf and especially if you're carrying his child.

[La.Primavera]

So just to clarify, this guy cheats on you, takes drugs, is immature, insecure, selfish, whinny, lacks empathy and compassion for your well being during your pregnancy and offers you no emotional support after you found out about your mothers illness (I'm very sorry to hear about that by the way). He has some serious growing up to do!

 

Now that you are having a baby it is time to start taking control. That means letting him know that his behavior is completely unacceptable. Don't allow him to manipulate you or make you feel guilty. If he can't start acting like a decent, supportive partner then you need to put your foot down and show him door. Put yourself and the baby first. This is a time where you need the love and support of your love ones the most.

 

Take care of yourself.