sportygirl89 Posted August 12, 2015 Posted August 12, 2015 I hung out with my guy friend who I've known for a while. We have always had chemistry. He has girl from another continent on a pedastal while he was in the same country. He hasn't done anything since her like sex (he is general a sexual guy and its been almost a year for him). I've been trying to help him as I felt the exact same way towards my ex. Took me 8 months until I could even date after it. He said he didn't want our friendship to be ruined but by the way it looks it looks like it is from our date ( we made out). Do I point it out he was the one who said he didn't want our friendship changed or ruined? This just sucks when guys go back on their word. They say we are the complicated one. He did say he was going to start seeing a therapist since he realizes his behavior isn't healthy or normal for him.
carhill Posted August 12, 2015 Posted August 12, 2015 No argument from me but, IMO, he's a normal guy. Most normal guys don't turn down feel-good soft and warm female body stuff, regardless of genital interaction or not. Maybe it doesn't complicate the friendship for him and the therapist stuff is just feel-good wordsmithing, IDK. 1
Gloria25 Posted August 12, 2015 Posted August 12, 2015 No argument from me but, IMO, he's a normal guy. Most normal guys don't turn down feel-good soft and warm female body stuff, regardless of genital interaction or not. Maybe it doesn't complicate the friendship for him and the therapist stuff is just feel-good wordsmithing, IDK. I don't think that's her point... I think her point is that he's putting a girl he's boinking on a pedestal - when all she is, is a vagina. I hear ya girlfriend. I've seen guys put the town ho on a pedestal, yet wanna put me through 21 questions ...and, once the town ho gets some cash out of them and kicks them to the curb, they still grab another town ho and elevate her too :rolleyes: Thing is, people have stuff going on in them that motivates them to date, fall in "love", etc - with who they like, cuz yep, 'people like what/who they like'. He may think she's the bomb cuz she massages his ego and he's an insecure guy. So, unless you're gonna manipulate him and massage his ego, you're not gonna be in his sights. Dating is about finding a "match". I want a guy who looks at me and sees what I have to offer and he "wants" that. Some men feel intimidated by me, some think I rock. Different strokes for different folks. So, all the intimidated guys can go marry a chick who is dependent on him and will never leave cuz she ain't got a thing going for her. More power to him and her. 1
carhill Posted August 12, 2015 Posted August 12, 2015 Yup, normal guy. Bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Guys kinda suck in that way and, yup, I'm a guy and I've been competing with them for women for decades. Heh.
ascendotum Posted August 12, 2015 Posted August 12, 2015 I've been trying to help him What do you mean by this - sleep with him or be his gf or set him up with another girl? Sound like you want to be his gf. Lots of guys have been in the same situation as you with the 'I don't want to ruin the friendship' line. When he says he does not want to ruin the friendship, it could esily be that he does not see you has his type for a gf, or that he genuinely values the friendship or both. You made out so there is a level of attraction there for him, but could well be not enough for a LTR, and he does not want to hurt you (or ruin the friendship) It would have been suckier he had had slept with you, then pulled the 'I don't want to ruin the friendship' card. Hopefully your friendship is strong enough to overcome this and get back to normal soon. Some friends could be fwb in the meantime while they get over their exes but I don't think that would work for you. 2
mrldii Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Yeah, no...not enough evidence or experience (from just this one guy) to draw the conclusion that "guys suck". Sometimes, I enjoy it when "guys suck"...as long as it's gently and they add that little swirl-thingy... ...but, I digress. 3
LoveRefreshed Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Yeah we do! You don't even know the half of it. Being a guy, I actively go around ****ing with women's heads, just to make sure none of them think that we're humans. Also, mrdlii, I am really good at that too. I think it balances out in the end.. like a double negative. 2
stillafool Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 I don't understand you OP, you said the guy has his girl on a pedestal yet you made out with him. I think you are disappointed because he didn't change his mind about his girl. He's lonely and horney without her and he had a moment of weakness.
Author sportygirl89 Posted August 13, 2015 Author Posted August 13, 2015 I don't understand you OP, you said the guy has his girl on a pedestal yet you made out with him. I think you are disappointed because he didn't change his mind about his girl. He's lonely and horney without her and he had a moment of weakness. He isn't dating her. They did and it may have been his longest relationship. Most of his last 4-6 months. He has much deeper issues than that.
Gloria25 Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Yeah we do! You don't even know the half of it. Being a guy, I actively go around ****ing with women's heads, just to make sure none of them think that we're humans. Gosh darn, well at least someone is honest here!!!
Gloria25 Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 He isn't dating her. They did and it may have been his longest relationship. Most of his last 4-6 months. He has much deeper issues than that. And you're gonna lay on hands and heal him? Eh, forget this dude...trust me People are who they are. You're never gonna be his "type" and thank your lucky stars for that.
Author sportygirl89 Posted August 13, 2015 Author Posted August 13, 2015 (edited) And you're gonna lay on hands and heal him? Eh, forget this dude...trust me People are who they are. You're never gonna be his "type" and thank your lucky stars for that.I unfortunately your heart doesn't choose who it likes...I wish it were that easy. I've liked him since I was 17 ( now 8 years later). Edited August 13, 2015 by sportygirl89
stillafool Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 unfortunately your heart doesn't choose who it likes...I wish it were that easy. I've liked him since I was 17 ( now 8 years later). Don't waste another 8 years wanting someone you can't have. It's just not worth it.
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