MadokaPuella Posted August 12, 2015 Posted August 12, 2015 I would really appreciate it if I could get an outside perspective of this situation I'm going through. I'm really upset and don't understand what's wrong with this guy. I recently turned 20 and my ex is 21. I met him during the end of January (from a dating site) and we met up the beginning of February. We both really hit it off and had great chemistry. We continued to see each other despite him living 50 miles away from me and enjoyed going out on dates, introducing friends, etc. He asked me to be his girlfriend during the end of March. After I said yes, things got weird a week later. He got less attentive, spent more time with his friends than me, and I noticed that he was active frequently on the dating site we met on while I deleted my account. He would be online but not responding to me. I calmly asked him about it and he got really defensive and said he wasn't on there and ignored me for a day. His attention grew less and less and he dumped me the day before it would've been one month together. He blamed distance and compatibility. He's smokes, drinks, and goes to parties a lot and I don't do any of those things. And while we had chemistry, our personalities were rather different. I thought that was what attracted us to each other. After he dumped me, I defriended him from FB and lost his number. I was upset for a while and unfortunately I thought about him everyday....and then he contacted me two months later, telling me that he missed me and couldn't stop thinking about me and wanted to give things another try. I liked him so much that I wanted to give it another go. He drove down to see me a few days ago, we had sex, and he had to go back home immediately afterwards. He drove and hour and a half to see me and had to go back since he was borrowing the car he used. A few days later his attention to me seemed to be more sexual than anything, he forgot my birthday ( I repeatedly told him when it was), and he took a few days off to stay in my city and hang out with me and other people he knew. He invited me to the hotel he was staying at and we spent two hours together, again having sex. Then his friends called and he went out with them to bars instead of spending more time with me and promised the next day we would hang out. The next day he invited me over but again rescheduled because his friends wanted to hang out that night, too. He said that this would be the last time and that he would really spend the entire day with me and go to the zoo together. I agreed when really my feelings were hurt a little and once again defriended him off fb. The next day, I texted him when he wanted to hang out. No reply. Sent two more, no response. Called, number no longer available. He blocked my number. I sent an fb message and he blocked me on there, too. And all the other social media we used. On twitter, he bragged and laughed about blocking me. I have absolutely no idea why he would block me. I've never in my life have been blocked before. He had me thinking we would really spend time together and go to the zoo, but he blocked me. Was he mad that I defriended him on FB?
xcupid Posted August 12, 2015 Posted August 12, 2015 He changed his mind. He could be mad at you but the key message is that he's not interested in you and he doesn't want to hear from you. I'm sorry, but his message is loud and clear. It's best to not contact him any more, remove him from any social media, and to move on. Again, I'm sorry this happened to you. 1
JewelD Posted August 12, 2015 Posted August 12, 2015 I would really appreciate it if I could get an outside perspective of this situation I'm going through. I'm really upset and don't understand what's wrong with this guy. I recently turned 20 and my ex is 21. I met him during the end of January (from a dating site) and we met up the beginning of February. We both really hit it off and had great chemistry. We continued to see each other despite him living 50 miles away from me and enjoyed going out on dates, introducing friends, etc. He asked me to be his girlfriend during the end of March. After I said yes, things got weird a week later. He got less attentive, spent more time with his friends than me, and I noticed that he was active frequently on the dating site we met on while I deleted my account. He would be online but not responding to me. I calmly asked him about it and he got really defensive and said he wasn't on there and ignored me for a day. His attention grew less and less and he dumped me the day before it would've been one month together. He blamed distance and compatibility. He's smokes, drinks, and goes to parties a lot and I don't do any of those things. And while we had chemistry, our personalities were rather different. I thought that was what attracted us to each other. After he dumped me, I defriended him from FB and lost his number. I was upset for a while and unfortunately I thought about him everyday....and then he contacted me two months later, telling me that he missed me and couldn't stop thinking about me and wanted to give things another try. I liked him so much that I wanted to give it another go. He drove down to see me a few days ago, we had sex, and he had to go back home immediately afterwards. He drove and hour and a half to see me and had to go back since he was borrowing the car he used. A few days later his attention to me seemed to be more sexual than anything, he forgot my birthday ( I repeatedly told him when it was), and he took a few days off to stay in my city and hang out with me and other people he knew. He invited me to the hotel he was staying at and we spent two hours together, again having sex. Then his friends called and he went out with them to bars instead of spending more time with me and promised the next day we would hang out. The next day he invited me over but again rescheduled because his friends wanted to hang out that night, too. He said that this would be the last time and that he would really spend the entire day with me and go to the zoo together. I agreed when really my feelings were hurt a little and once again defriended him off fb. The next day, I texted him when he wanted to hang out. No reply. Sent two more, no response. Called, number no longer available. He blocked my number. I sent an fb message and he blocked me on there, too. And all the other social media we used. On twitter, he bragged and laughed about blocking me. I have absolutely no idea why he would block me. I've never in my life have been blocked before. He had me thinking we would really spend time together and go to the zoo, but he blocked me. Was he mad that I defriended him on FB? Because he is a jerk who doesn't care about you. Or just wanted to use you as a cut buddy. Some guys really get off on rejecting women over and over. Makes them feel special and wanted. That's why he's bragging about it, because he wants people to know someone wanted him so bad that he had to block her. You'll drive yourself crazy questioning why, just know that he's a pos that isn't worth your time. 2
Zippy2000 Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 He`s blocked you as he`s less than a man. He`s a boy. The main thing is he wasnt into you at all and it was only just sex. He`s got what he wanted. Sex. Next time if a man tries to win you back after not doing things right first time round. Give it more time for him to prove it and refrain from sex too early. He`s got what he wanted and now your a notch in his bed post.
Fleur de cactus Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 If he comes back , he is only after sex and not you. Your relationship does not mean anything . Move on.
toml Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Girls block guys all the time. Feels like crap right? Probs same reason why girls block guys he has blocked you
cessna Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 He was using you because you let him. By all accounts he sounded like a dick but you kept making contact with him and giving him the opportunity. He's probably found someone else to fool around with now, hence the blocking. Be grateful you had nothing serious with him and move on. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Sorry to hear this, OP. He sounds like a grade-A jerk. He probably loves the fact that you continued to want him even after he made it clear he didn't want you. It's an ego boost for him and it's not cool. Having said that, it's a tough lesson to learn: if he spends time with you after breaking up with you only to have sex, he is using you. He didn't have a real intention of getting back together. Unfortunately, you let him maneuver his way back in even after treating you this way. In the future, look at someone's actions. His words meant squat. Although we can't know the real reason he blocked you, these are my guesses: A) He loves the power trip, B) He's seeing another girl (or girls) and doesn't want to have to explain to them why you're calling and texting Let him keep you blocked. Don't try to reach him again. You can do much, much better than this!
usernametaken Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 What. A. Jerk. Good riddance. Sorry that stings, as it should. Chalk it up to life lessons. Jeez. 1
kendahke Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Unfortunately, you mistook his wanting to have sex with you after he broke up with you as meaning he wanted a relationship with you. No. That's not what he wanted. He knew getting you in the bed would be easy, so that's why he did it. Because you want a relationship with him so badly, you played along. I don't think he used you at all--you allowed him to do this because you had motives, too---to engineer him back into the relationship. Lesson learned: you can't sex a guy into a relationship. He's a boy who still wants to go play with his friends, so let him go play with them. Meanwhile, block him every which way you can on all social devices. That means no more creeping his twitter feed. He needs to stay blocked on FB. And BTW, you had every right and were right to block him after he dumped you. Him being mad about it is really too effin' bad--he shouldn't have dumped you. Actions have consequences and dumping someone means you're done--so why would him being blocked on FB disrupt his stride? He's the one who first decided that your relationship with him was over. Boy, bye. He has never acted like a guy who wanted a girlfriend. The minute you agreed, he was off on some other isht. He acted like a guy who wanted a girl in the bullpen for when he felt like having sex. You thought that meant he wanted a relationship with you and that was where you went off the rails. 2
introverted1 Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 Why did you unfriend him? Substituting unfriendings and blockings for actual communication smacks of immaturity. Doesn't sound like either of you is ready for a relationship... Might be time to figure out what you can do to improve your picking and communication skills so your next relationship will have a happier outcome. 1
kendahke Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 (edited) Why did you unfriend him? He asked me to be his girlfriend during the end of March. After I said yes, things got weird a week later. He got less attentive, spent more time with his friends than me, and I noticed that he was active frequently on the dating site we met on while I deleted my account. He would be online but not responding to me. I calmly asked him about it and he got really defensive and said he wasn't on there and ignored me for a day. His attention grew less and less and he dumped me the day before it would've been one month together. He blamed distance and compatibility. He's smokes, drinks, and goes to parties a lot and I don't do any of those things. sounds like dude didn't want to be bothered with OP--that's what his actions were saying. Are you saying she should have stuck around for this bad treatment? Would you have stuck around with a girl who was treating you this way? I don't think you would have if you had any sense of your own self worth. Substituting unfriendings and blockings for actual communication smacks of immaturity. Doesn't sound like either of you is ready for a relationship... Her level of communication is what any reasonable adult would have done; it might not be what a game playing jerk would do... She did try to talk with him, but he made himself scarce. What should she have done? Grabbed him by the scruff of his neck? Forced him to talk to her how, exactly? Once someone dumps you, that means that they're done trying to talk to you or trying to work anything out with you. Any guy who'd write the above would be told to dump the chick, go NC, block her, etc. by just about everyone on this site. Edited August 14, 2015 by kendahke
mortensorchid Posted August 14, 2015 Posted August 14, 2015 Ah Facebook. We have never left high school, have we? Ha ha ha ... But seriously, this guy was only looking for sex he was not interested in anything else other. It happens. It hurts, of course, but remember that there are others out there who he will be just as abusive towards. I've been blocked by many, old bfs and just recently and MORESO former female friends. Don't overthink it, just move on.
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