He hasn't intitated plans in 2 weeks but is still texting like normal?

[garfish99]

We've been together for almost a year and saw each other 3-4x per week. It has now been 2 weeks. A week ago he made a half assed attempt to initiate plans by saying, "I was thinking of running with you but my stomach is upset." To which I agreed to pay it by ear. His stomach did not feel better. He did not suggest another day. I tried to see him before I went away for the weekend. He said, "I know you're going out of town, I'm going to miss you. I'm doing a lot of running around after work but I'll let you know. Of course I would love to see you" (He has never given an unsure response like that before when I initiate. Normally he sees me late if he has to, especially if I'll be away.). Then, "I almost got hit by a car, I'm so upset, I'm in no shape to hang. Maybe later tonight" By 11pm, I simply wrote "Goodnight". His response, "Sorry I'm such a busy mess today, I suck." I acted understanding.

 

He texts like normal, made sure I got to my parent's safely. Watched me on Glimpse, even gave suggestions on food places He made sure I got back home Sun night safely. But did not ask me to come by Sun night like he normally does. Did not initiate plans for Monday or today. He still sends me links for things he thinks I would find amusing. Flirts, says things like " Good morning gorgeous (hearts) " "Sending kisses and cuddles for a good night sleep. "

Last night he said," Hope you enjoyed a relaxing evening." I said "I did. Hope you had a good night too." He said, "Thanks. Well it's time for night nights, zzz" which seemed weirdly abrupt. Then I saw him posting on group chat for the next hour. He sent more links and mushy stuff today. At one point I said something flirty. His response was "Aw, mm. Ooh, I just saw this funny SNL video." As if changing the subject. Then he disappeared from chat. He usually wraps it up, so basically he's acting a little weird.

I want him to WANT to initiate plans. He normally does 50/50. I'm so confused. It feels like we're pen pals who say mushy things. He has managed to see me even when working 2 jobs, volunteering,, and dealing with audits. He doesn't even call. When I was on vacation for 2 weeks last month he called me every other day. He saw me daily for a week when I returned. Now there's NO effort. I don't understand why he would WANT to go this long without seeing me unless he is over it. He usually tells me when he's stressed over work. I already initiated plans last week and received excuses, so should I still try again or leave it alone? Should I bring up my observations and ask if everything is OK?

[quattrob]

I think he just got bored and tired of putting the effort. He seems to be making too many excuses about how he couldn't see you or contact you. This usually means he just isn't that into you. If he was really that into you he'd want to see you as much as he can even if it's just for a few mins or at least talk to you/communicate with you and keeping you in the loop about his life.

 

 

As far as sending you mushy texts/messages, he just likes the attention you give him and he wants to keep that so he sends you these messages to "assure" you he likes you a lot.. but I think the truth is, he doesn't like you that much but enjoys your wants/needs of him. It makes him feel good about himself.. an ego boost.

 

 

Whatever the case is I think you should let him know upfront about everything you feel and just be honest about it. If you get less than honesty from him and getting more excuses, forget this guy.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Listen, if you're supposed to be in a committed and monogamous relationship than it's best to just confront him about how you're feeling so you can get past it!

 

Sitting and waiting and assuming and and pretending to be okay with everything when you're clearly not is no better than playing games in my humble opinion. Whatever is going on isn't going to fix itself so what are you waiting for? I mean, how much longer can this go before you finally say something to him? Take some control back.

 

I get it that you want your boyfriend to take more initiative in your relationship (don't we all) but that feels like a separate less imperative issue than the one you're describing. Right now he's acting noticeably distant and disinterest and full of excuses which is a bigger problem in my eyes.

 

Talk to him about it and let him know how you're feeling and let the chips fall where they may.

 

Good luck.

[Fix]

Sounds like he stringing you along for a while longer while he either secures something with a new prospect or builds up the courage to have 'the talk' and end it.

 

If it feels like something is wrong it's 99% of the time because there is. You can obviously see this, don't second guess your gut instinct in these situations.

 

One option I can can suggest is beat him to the punch. Tell him you feel like you two have drifted apart and it's not working for you any more. You end it, and just deal with the fact you have to walk away.