deal with pervs on a crowded bus?

[Pennyapple]

So today I was riding a bus and it was crowded like a can. As the bus moves everybody standing was swinging around and bodies were rubbing.

 

Then I felt the tall guy behind me got an erection against my back. I thought it was just physical reaction, so I moved away from him a bit and didn't take much notice. But he came up closer and rubbed against my back. I kept moving and he kept coming up closer. There isn't any more space to move in the crowd so I pushed him with my elbow but again he rubbed against my elbow. I was grossed out and squeezed through to the back of the bus. As soon as I moved away the guy got off the bus.

 

Now I wonder what I should do in this senario. Call the police? Not enough evidence nor do I think they care. Slap him? He's like at least 6'3... But the more I think about it the more I hate being cowardly and not confront him. :sick::sick::sick:

[Arieswoman]

Pennyapple,

I am sorry you have had to deal with this, which is called ;

 

'Frotteurism is a paraphilic interest in rubbing, usually one's pelvic area or erect penis, against a non-consenting person for sexual pleasure. It may involve touching any part of the body, including the genital area.'

 

This could be classed as a "sexual assault" in UK, I am not sure what USA laws state.

 

The next time, if there is a "next time" may I suggest you say to the guy loudly "get away from me you creep" or whatever else comes to mind, and make sure other people hear this.

 

This is scary I know, because no-one wants to "make a scene" but practice this at home so you are ready.

 

Have you thought of taking an assertiveness class? That might help you deal with this.

 

I understand that this may make you feel "dirty" in some way but remember it's not about you but it's all about the sad b@$3@rd that has a real problem.

 

Stay strong x

[Davey L]

I don't know, I'm a man so not had this happen. However I'd suggest not giving him a slap as it could be considered an assault, assuming of course that he's brazen enough to make an issue of it.

[Fleur de cactus]

Frotteurism is common on the bus in country where such violation and behavior are not seriously punished. Sorry you have to go through this. You should scream, say something loud and people around you and driver could know and hear. Maybe the driver could stop the bus. What country are you in. I know recently, there was a debate in a country where I am from, and the Parliament was discussing how to reinforce laws to protect victims of such violation. It is a crime like rape since he is getting sexual gratification from rubbing himself against you.

 

It is pervert and if a country does not have any laws regarding this, perverts take advantage and violate people.

 

Can the driver do something and help you to connect with the police and report what is going on the bus? I know it is done, but who knows if he does not know you and did not follow you to the bus? And he may do this again?

[angel.eyes]

I don't know where you are, but this is a pretty common occurrence on crowded subways and buses during rush hour in large cities...at least the ones I've lived in. Keep a sharp object handy...like an engineering pencil. Every time he starts rubbing up on you, jab him with it in the lower abdomen. It's the swiftest, most effective way to get the perv to leave you alone.

[minimariah]

Now I wonder what I should do in this senario. Call the police? Not enough evidence nor do I think they care. Slap him?

 

it had happened to me (more than once) - i turned around, asked him to BACK OFF in a little louder voice & that was enough. when it isn't enough, i either push him & tell him to stop abusing him & threaten police right there and then. usually it's enough.

 

you did good. when things like that happen, you're shocked and in disbelief so it's hard to react in a cool manner. you weren't cowardly at all -- it's NOT an easy situation. it's hard especially when there is a possibility of other person's reaction - he could have hit you back if you slapped him or harm you in any other way it you pushed him or something... so you weren't cowardly. your reaction is normal.

[GemmaUK]

On a bus or a train just say loudly 'Please stop rubbing yourself against me' and step as far away as possible. People will give you space as long as they have heard you.

The carriage/bus will go silent but you will also have back up if he moves towards you. Sometimes you'll get a few smiles from people showing their support.

I've done it several times and it works.

 

I would not at all recommend jabbing or hitting anyone who did this.

 

In London they now have a text service to report this kind of behaviour, check out whether they have anything the same where you live.

[Gloria25]

-Fart...loudly. And say loudly "geesh, I need to stop doing Mexican food" as you wave your hand in front your nose.

 

-Don't bathe

 

-Turn around and fake sneeze and/or cough in his face

 

-Pretend you lost your footing and fall elbowing him and stomp on is foot at be like "oh, I'm sooo sorry".

[RecentChange]

I have had this happen - and I will tell you what I did becuase it was quite effective.

 

I ride a light rail and train to work every day - sometimes its packed like a sardine can. Yep, people get pressed together - thats normal....

 

What isn't normal is the day I felt a guys burning hot dick on me. Like you, first, I moved, not going to "assume the worst"..... and HE moved, found his way to my ass again. Thats when I became VERY aware of what he was up to.

 

So in a loud, assertive voice (which came easily, because now I was angry) I said:

 

"GET YOUR CROTCH OFF OF ME - RIGHT NOW!!!"

 

His eyes were like saucers. He stuttered and stammered, and all of the rest of the train was staring at his glaring. I turned to the woman in front of me and said "sorry for shouting but this is bull****"

 

The guy immediately backed away from me jumped off of the train the first stop he could...