RoseVille Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 I know a lot of people think FB is a big joke and it's all fake. It's easy to assume that when you present an authentic life, others must be doing the same. My FB reflects my real life. Time spent with my dogs, Giants games with friends, Fleet Week, toddlers' birthday parties, whatever. Nothing particularly exciting, just sincere. I'm not singing from the rooftops of FB that my life is so great in the moments when it's not. In fact, there's enough ranting on there to show a fairly well-rounded, accurate version of my life. But I have a couple friends who lead what I would call tortured lives; stuck in dysfunctional, toxic relationships. Yet, if you were just looking at their FB, you'd think they were sooooooo in love. I have another friend who's always posting pictures of herself and random pretty people, "such good friends", to show off her amazing social life. But I also know these people are aquaintences at best. It's like she's manipulating people's view of who she is. Coincidentally, for reasons I won't get into here, I have begun to distance myself from the same people who are these FB fakers. I think there's a correlation there, but I haven't quite put my finger on it yet. For those of you with FB, does it reflect who you really are? Or at least what you choose to post, is that real? 3
autumnnight Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 It pretty much does. Sometimes I have a knee jerk reaction to some political stupidity or something...then I smack myself and delete it 3
Got it Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 Yep pretty much me. So a lot of horse stuff. I am not one to post every thought that crosses my mind so limited on personal items and just post noteworthy but no shifting reality or anything. 1
minimariah Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 i got FB only recently -- i think it reflects happy moments of my real life. i put on quotes, pictures of my job & hobbies... things i love, music, movies & art i love... people i love. moments of calmness and happiness. i don't put on the ugly moments, depressed or sad moments, angry moments... i won't post a picture of myself crying, for example. i won't post a nasty quote about my friend when i'm really mad at her. but then again - i won't put up something and act or pretend happy when the reality is different. so yeah - i think FB, for me, reflects happy moments of my life. just a small little part... like a rough exterior of my life. everything else is private. 4
Taramere Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 My Facebook page is mainly about animals and pointless spoof news articles. So yes, it pretty much me. Looking at the adverts recently is interesting. Usually I get stuff along the lines of "doctors hate this old crone who looks 30 years younger than she is." And "there are lots of men out there who are desperate to meet single women in their late forties!" - the latter accompanied by unlikely looking pictures of sun-kissed older male model types. Today, however, I have an advert for a service that will bring an extra dimension to my wedding, and I also have an advert for a honeymoon service. Unless they think I'm marrying my dog (and I haven't yet ruled that out) I'm not sure what prompted that. 2
katinlc Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 i got FB only recently -- i think it reflects happy moments of my real life. i put on quotes, pictures of my job & hobbies... things i love, music, movies & art i love... people i love. moments of calmness and happiness. i don't put on the ugly moments, depressed or sad moments, angry moments... i won't post a picture of myself crying, for example. i won't post a nasty quote about my friend when i'm really mad at her. but then again - i won't put up something and act or pretend happy when the reality is different. so yeah - i think FB, for me, reflects happy moments of my life. just a small little part... like a rough exterior of my life. everything else is private. ^^^^This. Facebook isn't "fake" but it doesn't accurately reflect my whole life - mainly the happy or random parts. I don't intentionally try to show my life as better than it is, but why would I post when my husband or family upsets me or my boss is making my life miserable- personal drama should be kept personal. I 3
autumnnight Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 I see facebook as a tool of expression. I think people who expect it to be some clinical representation of every facet of a person are taking it way too seriously. 3
Author RoseVille Posted August 11, 2015 Author Posted August 11, 2015 I see facebook as a tool of expression. I think people who expect it to be some clinical representation of every facet of a person are taking it way too seriously. Yeah, I didn't suggest that. It's funny that you have a clinical view of the concept though.
Author RoseVille Posted August 11, 2015 Author Posted August 11, 2015 i got FB only recently -- i think it reflects happy moments of my real life. i put on quotes, pictures of my job & hobbies... things i love, music, movies & art i love... people i love. moments of calmness and happiness. i don't put on the ugly moments, depressed or sad moments, angry moments... i won't post a picture of myself crying, for example. i won't post a nasty quote about my friend when i'm really mad at her. but then again - i won't put up something and act or pretend happy when the reality is different. so yeah - i think FB, for me, reflects happy moments of my life. just a small little part... like a rough exterior of my life. everything else is private. This is interesting. I do post quotes about ridding my life of toxic people (the friends I'm mad at). I posted about how devastated I was when my dad died. I posted about PTSD and suicide in honor of my fiancé. Pretty negative stuff. But no, I don't post selfies of myself crying. But I don't post selfies in general. 1
autumnnight Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 Yeah, I didn't suggest that. It's funny that you have a clinical view of the concept though. Oh, I know you didn't. Sorry about that. But I know people who do. I once heard someone IRL say that she doesn't buy people's FB posts about their happy marriage if they aren't also posting honestly about their fights. Really??? 1
minimariah Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 This is interesting. I do post quotes about ridding my life of toxic people (the friends I'm mad at). I posted about how devastated I was when my dad died. I posted about PTSD and suicide in honor of my fiancé. Pretty negative stuff. But no, I don't post selfies of myself crying. But I don't post selfies in general. & if you're comfortable with that - awesome. i think it comes down to what your personal boundaries are. i'm a pretty reserved, almost socially anxious person... so for me, even sharing happy moments is huge. i might post negative stuff but it won't ever be something personal -- it will always be negative in general... like posting news about humanitarian crisis or wars or something like that. posting links about mental health or links for help... but i won't ever post a single negative moment of my life. my friend does, for example - she'll post a status like "what a crappy day". so i guess it depends on what you're comfortable sharing with the others. 4
regine_phalange Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 I use facebook mainly for messaging and for games When I post something it's usually songs. My wall and tagged photos are visible only to me. I'm terribly private, maybe too much. 2
minimariah Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 i'd like to add - to me, it seems like Twitter is much more real and personal than FB. i feel like people dare to show a more real, not so happy and pleasant side of themselves much more through tweets and chatting, than through FB.
autumnnight Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 & if you're comfortable with that - awesome. i think it comes down to what your personal boundaries are. i'm a pretty reserved, almost socially anxious person... so for me, even sharing happy moments is huge. i might post negative stuff but it won't ever be something personal -- it will always be negative in general... like posting news about humanitarian crisis or wars or something like that. posting links about mental health or links for help... but i won't ever post a single negative moment of my life. my friend does, for example - she'll post a status like "what a crappy day". so i guess it depends on what you're comfortable sharing with the others. This is also part of my point. There is no universal definition of "real" on FB. One could argue that minimariah is MORE real because she treats FB like she does the rest of her expressions - carefully. Fake is very subjective 1
MissBee Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 (edited) I know a lot of people think FB is a big joke and it's all fake. It's easy to assume that when you present an authentic life, others must be doing the same. My FB reflects my real life. Time spent with my dogs, Giants games with friends, Fleet Week, toddlers' birthday parties, whatever. Nothing particularly exciting, just sincere. I'm not singing from the rooftops of FB that my life is so great in the moments when it's not. In fact, there's enough ranting on there to show a fairly well-rounded, accurate version of my life. But I have a couple friends who lead what I would call tortured lives; stuck in dysfunctional, toxic relationships. Yet, if you were just looking at their FB, you'd think they were sooooooo in love. I have another friend who's always posting pictures of herself and random pretty people, "such good friends", to show off her amazing social life. But I also know these people are aquaintences at best. It's like she's manipulating people's view of who she is. Coincidentally, for reasons I won't get into here, I have begun to distance myself from the same people who are these FB fakers. I think there's a correlation there, but I haven't quite put my finger on it yet. For those of you with FB, does it reflect who you really are? Or at least what you choose to post, is that real? There's a fine line. I think we all have public faces, which aren't necessarily fake, just public and polished and what we show the world versus behind closed doors. Even outside of social media. Our resumes don't list all our fccuk ups, just the good stuff, when I go out I dress well (if you randomly pop up at my house though I'll be in some old comfy clothes,hair all over the place, looking a mess), just because you see me or talk to me at school or wherever doesn't mean you're privy to my private battles or issues...that's just part of life that some aspects of ourselves aren't for public consumption. With FB it's the same, except of course some people might go out of their way to falsify and misrepresent. But I think that's a little different than just the fact that you don't put all your dysfunctions out there or your pics of your dirty dishes or you doing laundry etc. My FB represents my real life...the parts I choose to share though. It's not an all-access view into everything. I don't use it as a personal diary to document my feelings about people (esp negative ones), I don't use it to make statuses about love and relationships, in fact, you cannot tell anything about my love life from my FB. Someone looking might think I never date as whether I am single or dating I don't have couple pictures up, I don't have lovey dovey statuses or bitter break up ones, I don't even have a status up. Most of my pictures are of my travels, random pictures of scenery, things I've done, dishes I've prepared (I'm a foodie so a ton of pics are of meals I've made or have eaten out), I share stuff about my work and school, social issues, articles etc...that's my real life, my real interests, real thoughts, but it's not EVERYTHING. I don't falsify or misrepresent though, like taking pics with people I don't really know and overselling our relationship or things like that. All of it is really my life, just the parts I've chosen to share. But of course you have people who use online to construct entire false realities. It's like Catfishing, but their whole life. Just recently there was some social media debacle on Instagram where some guy was selling books to people on achieving a lifestyle like his, where in his pics he presented himself as having gorgeous homes in different cities, driving different luxury cars, sporting $40,000 watches, etc...then come to find out he's a fraud. He's a realtor who sells these properties and he would just pose in these houses, he would pose with these cars, he would try these watches on in the store and not buy them and so on...so yea some people might be lying about their lives in that way but I think those things are different than just putting up a highlight reel of your real life, which is what my Instagram is. It's really my life...just the highlights though. Edited August 11, 2015 by MissBee 2
Art_Critic Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 mine does but I really only post child related things and those are too hard to fake.. I do know a few people that I know damn well that their lives are not as nice and their marriage isn't as good as it is portrayed on FB and I'm tired of hearing about their material possessions.. like their new boat or house of whatever... keep that stuff to yourself.. well.. unless it's a new house.. that would be nice to see any of my friends post about but you get the idea...
serial muse Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 (edited) I'm a fairly private person so I follow what I will call the "Miss Bee" model. What I post is real and honest and it's "me" but it's not the whole picture, by any means. Part of that is because my "friends" are a mishmash of work colleagues, actual friends, close family members, distant family members with widely varying political views, and friends I'm barely in touch with anymore. For the most part I just don't feel like sharing deeply personal stuff with the vast majority of those people. I post baby pics and funny videos or links and light-hearted commentary on this and that or stuff related to my career, and that's about it. No political screeds, no personal trauma, nothing really that invites people in. I tend to prefer that stuff to stay out of the prying eyes of FB. So I'd say it reflects my personality but it's basically the cocktail-party version of me. I do post baby pics because the family pretty much demands it. But not very often. Edited August 11, 2015 by serial muse
loveweary11 Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 My Snapchat reflects my actual life... ups and downs. But then it vanishes, so it's all good.
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 I've commented about Facebook and my disdain for social media in general in other threads. I would have to say that my FB today is quite reflective of my life, who I am and what I value most...at least if or when I decide to post something which isn't often at all. I can't say the same had you asked me this question 10+ years ago. Live and learn. Apart from one picture taken at Christmas of me and my partner that I posted as my profile picture and the rare thought-provoking posting that moved me to share it, I rarely interact on FB the way I used to many, many years ago. I even went so far as to block friend's feeds from showing up on my wall because I found myself being sucked into the rampant fakery that can become quite toxic if you're not careful. So...perhaps FB today isn't about how others see me but rather how I see myself and by that definition, yes it is very reflective of who I am
Raena Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 My own personal fb page is mostly only about the happy moments in my life too. I don't post when I'm upset. I've done it in the past and regretted it. For me it's mostly about accomplishments my child has made, something fun I'm doing, something I found funny, a song that's stuck in my head and has meaning for me, nature pictures from hikes and stuff, pictures of my dog's antics, stuff like that. Is it a true reflection of what's going on in my life? Yeah, pretty much. Anything negative that's going on isn't something I would broadcast to the world anyway.... only to my closest friends. If I have a question about something I need help with, I post about that too. My friends know I'm a single mom trying to take care of everything myself so if I ask about say..... where is the best place to buy wide size football cleats or does anyone know a reasonably priced dog trainer... my friends usually respond quickly trying to help... but I do the same for them too. I have noticed that there are people who flat out lie about how great their lives are on fb though. You can always tell who they are too.
autumnnight Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 I think in this internet age, we have decided that we are only being "real" if everything on our minds and in our lives is spoken or shared. They think that if we do have a "face" for the regular world and are different with those closest, we are fake. What this actually is is called tact, wisdom, and discretion. Just because it is in your head does not mean it needs to come out of your mouth (or fingers). Not everyone NEEDS to know what you think, and not everyone needs to know the intimate details of your life. In fact, I don't consider people who say everything they think however they want to and spill all to everyone "real," I consider them obnoxious and lacking in self-control. 1
sandylee1 Posted August 12, 2015 Posted August 12, 2015 My FB definitely reflects me and my life. I post pics of family functions and time with my H. It captures the good times and it kind of helps me appreciate what I have. I'm very family orientated and the wider family around the world can see what's going on. I like to post my children's awards and success, because I'm proud of them. I also post quotes when I'm feeling philosophical about things too. I remember posting a quote along the lines of "men and regrets and if i knew then what I know now' a few years ago and I got a message from one of my Ex BFs saying he hoped he wasn't one of the guys who caused me hurt me along the way. I don't live and breathe it like some people though. I have a couple of friends who put something on every single day. TBH I think they're both somewhat dissatisfied with life and they use FB to keep active and lift their spirits.
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