titipornstar Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 she dumped me like a bad smell, was involved with someone from work weeks later. i went through hell... second time she dumped me... after 3 weeks of begging and when i found out someone else involved i went strict no contact. I subsequently met someone new who am building something with but cant compare to 4.5 years and engaged. After 3 months she walked into my restaurant with the guy (i wasn't there) she phoned me up twice, i didn't let her get a word in said i was busy and hung up. Yesterday she phoned me to ask if id received any mail from the doctors for her... i mean after not speaking to her for so long there are other means and ways to find out about her mail. I deleted her number so i unintentionally hit her with the classic... who is this she asked how i was i said fine and said i was busy with some work projects... i asked how she was and if she was happy... she meekly replied yes (maybe i imagined it) i said 'I'm happy you are happy' she asked about the dogs... again i said they are well... i cut the convo short... and said bye... 5 mins later she texts me saying sorry to call you out of the blue like that and wished me luck with the work project... i waited a while and replied... no problem thanks... any thoughts on this as its peppered my head...
Gus Grimly Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 I deleted her number so i unintentionally hit her with the classic... who is this lol, nice! I think you did fine. You kept it short, courteous and professional like. I wouldn't have responded to the text, though. That was a breadcrumb. She's definitely thinking about you. I'd block her number, you don't need to reopen old wounds.
dumbass2 Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 Sounds like there was a lot you liked about your relationship with her, but...... 1. She dumped you for a second time 2. She got with a new guy pretty fast 3. You are with a new girl and trying to build a relationship It's going to take some time to build a new relationship. You have to see that the old one, despite all of the good you saw in it, was not working with her. It may have been for YOU, but not HER. I believe that there can be second chances, though rare, but not more than that. You two just don't seem to be compatible long term. Deleting someone's number just doesn't help. You need to take her number and block it so you don't get that call or text that will send you back here wondering what she wants. You shouldn't care about what she is thinking and since what she does still bothers you, you really need to do the block or at the very least, if you get another call, tell her to not contact you again, take care and hang up. Would you honestly consider a third chance with her?
Author titipornstar Posted August 11, 2015 Author Posted August 11, 2015 no... i just would like to know her motives... i know i shouldn't care, but human nature eh... is she opening the door? sounds mental but i went to see a medium that said she would come into my bar with him and make me jealous, he said it wasnt over and she would come back, but she would leave me again... probably coincidence but uncanny.. wonder if she sick of the new bloke or dumped him
Author titipornstar Posted August 11, 2015 Author Posted August 11, 2015 i have to ad she's the only person in the world thats made me feel complete, its sad that it turned out like it did bcos for the good part of us i was happy.
Chi townD Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 Well, that was pretty ballsy to go to YOUR restaurant with the guy that she left you for in tow. Discovered you weren't there and tried to contact you twice?!?!? What the hell for?!?!?! "Hey! Where are you? I need you to come down to the restaurant so I can rub this guy in your face." Ignore her. Move on. She's playing stupid games.
Gus Grimly Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 Would you honestly consider a third chance with her? Like I've said before, the best prognosticator of future behavior is relevant past behavior. Yes, people do change but they have to make the effort. She would need to sufficiently prove to you that she's making major adjustments in her life so she doesn't fall back into old habits. You need to forget about the Ex and continue building your new relationship. Block her and move on. Yes, 4 years is a long time, I know I was with my Ex the same amount of time and engaged too, but I know now staying in a dysfunctional relationship would have been a disaster. 1
quattrob Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 i have to ad she's the only person in the world thats made me feel complete, its sad that it turned out like it did bcos for the good part of us i was happy. Why would you even think about giving her a 3rd chance? She obviously dumped you for someone else as you mentioned the 2nd time. So she'll do the same again when she finds someone else better. You know why? Because she doesn't respect you, not even you respect yourself. You are being her backup and she knows you still want to be with her. She can do whatever she wants and you'll still be waiting/confused. She knows all this so well. Please respect yourself and stop putting her on a pedestal. If this woman makes you feel complete, you're just being delusional. Playing around with your mind and heart is not someone you should want to be with. And in no way shape or form ever going to be a healthy, long lasting relationship.
Author titipornstar Posted August 13, 2015 Author Posted August 13, 2015 new message ... apparently found some paperwork i may need can she come round and drop it by... i messaged back saying ... whats going on? i don't hear from you in months now you get in touch twice in 3 days.. i feel nervous and stressed out!
theredpill Posted August 13, 2015 Posted August 13, 2015 That's the best way, don't get caught in small talk - ask what she's after, maybe she's guilty and trying to be friendly, either way she's reaching out for a reason, perhaps her new beau isn't all that.
Author titipornstar Posted August 13, 2015 Author Posted August 13, 2015 she replied nothings up, sorry if i disturbed you, just wanted to know how you are? do you want the papers.. i replied give them to work colleague who I'm seeing on friday perhaps theres nothing more to it but to get in touch twice with trialities in the space of a few days
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