nickprior Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 i'd rather cook for a date then go out to eat i love cooking. i can make what i want, i know its clean, and where its coming from and its cheaper i cooked for this one girl on a date and she liked it she asked where i like to eat out at and i told her"i dont really eat out. i'd rather just cook my own meals. i enjoy it" she then texted me the next day saying it wouldnt work out because she likes to go out. is that legit?
central Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 You like to stay in and cook. Is that legit? It's a matter of preference, that's all. 1
Gaeta Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 Yes she is justified. I would never go to a man's house for a first meet or date. To me it's laziness. Yes yes yes I know cooking home is a lot of work, I don't care. If your idea of a first date is to stay home than I am pretty sure the rest of our relationship will be spent home. If you want to impress me than get up, put on a pair of clean pants, and take me to a nice/fun place. Show me how you can treat me while we're out there and you're on your best behavior and I will also pay attention on how you treat others. 1
lana-banana Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 I don't think it's because you like to cook, but rather because you don't like to go out. As you said she even enjoyed that you cooked for her. Cooking is one of my favorite hobbies but I also really enjoy relaxing at a nice restaurant (and trying to figure out how they cooked such spectacular dishes!). In the city where I live, most young professionals go out for dinner about once a week. We are surrounded by such good food it's a shame not to enjoy it. Dining out is a regular part of our lives. I'm guessing this lady feels similarly. It's a lifestyle issue and it's perfectly legit. 7
katiegrl Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 i'd rather cook for a date then go out to eat i love cooking. i can make what i want, i know its clean, and where its coming from and its cheaper i cooked for this one girl on a date and she liked it she asked where i like to eat out at and i told her --- **"i dont really eat out. i'd rather just cook my own meals. i enjoy it"*** --- she then texted me the next day saying it wouldnt work out because she likes to go out. is that legit? I think what may have turned her off was the way you worded your response. *I* don't like eating out, *I* would rather cook *my own* meals. How does a woman fit into that scenario? You sound like a recluse.. a loner. So yes IMO it was legit. 3
Gaeta Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 Yes she is justified. I would never go to a man's house for a first meet or date. To me it's laziness. Yes yes yes I know cooking home is a lot of work, I don't care. If your idea of a first date is to stay home than I am pretty sure the rest of our relationship will be spent home. If you want to impress me than get up, put on a pair of clean pants, and take me to a nice/fun place. Show me how you can treat me while we're out there and you're on your best behavior and I will also pay attention on how you treat others. Opps I misread. It's not a first date. Still my answer remains the same.
Els Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 You were told no because you were incompatible with her, not because you like to cook. Plenty of men like to cook and are still open to eating out sometimes - in your case you sound like you would never be interested in taking your date out for dinner. That is unattractive to many people. 8
loveweary11 Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 I share your philosophy and can make far better tasting and more healthy meals than any restaurant. However... this isn't about food. This date of yours wanted a dining experience, which involves dressing up a bit, going out and doing something different. Youwere too logical. Too much like a typical guy. You should have stepped outside yourself and your world and looked at her point of view. 7
ascendotum Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 I don't think it's because you like to cook, but rather because you don't like to go out. As you said she even enjoyed that you cooked for her. OP I reckon this is pretty much the answer to your outcome. Some women will also look negatively on it, because they will consider you a bit of a cheapskate for not wanting to take your gf out, others because they wont want the 1st date being back at your place. To me it shows more effort to impress the woman - depending on how impressive the meal is, but its not going to go down well if every night going to be at home.
Author nickprior Posted August 11, 2015 Author Posted August 11, 2015 I don't mind going out for drinks or movies or a show. Im just not big on eating out
central Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 I don't mind going out for drinks or movies or a show. Im just not big on eating out If she is, then you two are not a match. It's that simple. It's like Vegans and meat-eaters dating - how do you accommodate to differing wants and needs? You can, but it really has to be worth it, especially if you are cooking for each other. 3
katiegrl Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 I don't mind going out for drinks or movies or a show. Im just not big on eating out With respect, you sound a bit self-centered and rigid. Dating and building a relationship is not just about you.... and what you want. There is another person involved - the woman. I find it ironic that you don't wish to accommodate what a woman prefers, taking her out to dinner or lunch once in a while, but yet you're apparently irked because SHE won't accommodate what you prefer - cooking at home. What's that about? Let it go ....you're not compatible. And I wish you luck finding a woman who is. 7
CarrieT Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 I went to cooking school and there is nothing I love more than cooking for a loved one (or - when I was single - a potential loved one). However, it isn't about economy and not wanting to dine out, but - as others have said - finding someone who is compatible. The whole process of dating is finding someone who enjoys the same things and if you don't mind eating out, you may need to do so to begin engaging in conversation with a girl. No girl in their right mind should come over for a home-cooked meal until a connection is well-established. If you ask her to do so after only one date, it will look like you are trying to get her alone for a hook-up. I suggest you put your dislike of dining out aside during the dating process and until you find someone who is just as happy staying home with you. 4
Taramere Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 I don't mind going out for drinks or movies or a show. Im just not big on eating out What about if you're on holiday? Do you self cater all the time? If you go for a long walk or cycle in the country, do you pack a picnic? For a lot of people, eating out is one of life's pleasures - and something they would expect to enjoy with a partner, as well as with groups of friends. It's not just about the quality of the food. It's about atmosphere, choice (looking forward to perusing a menu and picking the thing you like best, as opposed to eating what somebody else decided you would have). Also, the fact that you're both being waited on - so you don't have to worry about the other person constantly going back and forth to the kitchen, mulling over whether it would be rude to offer to help (or rude not to) and all of that. I suppose that if you don't enjoy eating out, then you're not going to be a very great dining companion for somebody who does. What is it about dining out that you're not keen on? Is it the cost? The presence of other diners? Dealing with the waiting staff? 3
GravityMan Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 Many people (women especially) strongly prefer that the first date (and possibly the 2nd and 3rd dates too) be out somewhere in a public place with other people around. Not at someone's house, not alone at some quiet or private establishment. This is mainly for safety reasons. Most guys that have basic social awareness know this. OP, no offense but you seem inexperienced with dating. Exception: the guy and woman already know each other and are comfortable with each other prior to dating. 1
Keenly Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 She realized you wouldn't be spending money on her
VengeanceGuidesMe Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 Some people just don't appreciate delicious home-cooked meals. Nor do they appreciate financial prudency. I say you're better off letting her go anyway. Honestly, there's so much thought, planning and effort that goes into cooking a meal on a date. Much more so than "Let's go to ____ for dinner!" I am always cooking for my dates, they love it. Never had this issue once OP, so keep looking! You're always going to run into material girls who have a penchant for material things.
Versacehottie Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 i'd rather cook for a date then go out to eat i love cooking. i can make what i want, i know its clean, and where its coming from and its cheaper i cooked for this one girl on a date and she liked it she asked where i like to eat out at and i told her"i dont really eat out. i'd rather just cook my own meals. i enjoy it" she then texted me the next day saying it wouldnt work out because she likes to go out. is that legit? I think it's totally legit. She either saw it as inherent incompatibility, a little lazy on your part or if you'd never been on a date or only a couple, she may have felt it was inappropriate to go to your place. Doubt she has a problem with you cooking (that's a good thing) but the context and your reasons behind it. If a guy told me your reasons, I would pass too. I think you can take her reasons for not wanting to come over for a meal as 100% legit. Why start a relationship with someone so set in their ways that he'd rarely want to go out together, when you do like to go out--or at very least it's a huge red flag about being set in your ways, a homebody and perhaps cheap. You said it yourself. Can't blame her for not still wanting a chance with you when she can tell there would be no chemistry. ps dinner at home, unless you are "trying" to save money can be just as expensive as out. Some people will even assume that's your reasoning even WHEN your home prepared meal is more expensive. In your case, it was part of your reason, so she guessed, that's all. If I was in her shoes and it was early in the dating process, as it sounds like it was, I wouldn't want to go to your place just cause I don't know you well enough yet and don't want to give the wrong impression or let things move too fast. Keep that in mind in the future. The suggestion will have some back off for that reason. Trust me, it's hardly the cooking.
Els Posted August 12, 2015 Posted August 12, 2015 Some people just don't appreciate delicious home-cooked meals. Nor do they appreciate financial prudency. I say you're better off letting her go anyway. Honestly, there's so much thought, planning and effort that goes into cooking a meal on a date. Much more so than "Let's go to ____ for dinner!" I am always cooking for my dates, they love it. Never had this issue once OP, so keep looking! You're always going to run into material girls who have a penchant for material things. You do realize that it isn't an either-or thing, right? It's entirely possible to cook one day, and go out the next. There's such a wide variety of options that it isn't really surprising that people who insist on sticking to only one option EVERY NIGHT are going to have difficulty dating. 1
Gary S Posted August 12, 2015 Posted August 12, 2015 Women like to be taken out on dates, it's part of romance..........and women need romance like flowers need the rain. Dem's da rules, mang! 1
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