rocketman122 Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 sent a message to woman on OLD. got her number spoke to her. shes very quiet and not so communicative. she said "at the date ill listen and youll be talking mostly, thats how I am" I can deal with quietness more or less since my ex wife was a quiet person and 70% was me talking. and thats fine. less nagging hahaha. but I prefer someone whos expressive and communicative. she has a few pics on her profile and looks nice. then I see her whatsapp profile pic later on and WTF! she looks like gullum smeagol. how do I get out of it? I never flaked on a date and this one slipped through my filtering system. I can see this will not be good and a waste of time and money.
Author rocketman122 Posted August 11, 2015 Author Posted August 11, 2015 I was thinking the same. then at least man up to my word and then tell her we wont continue at the end of the date. my pocket will take a hit but at least ill have my dignity as not to be a flake.
Haydn Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 Just meet for a drink. You can back out gracefully if things are a bit stilted. 2
Author rocketman122 Posted August 11, 2015 Author Posted August 11, 2015 going to a sushi restaurant. not so expensive. I never do cafe on first dates. restaurants is better because it puts a more romantic feel. I always have great dates. till they piss me off then I walk away. I read their profiles which tells me a lot. for instance if they say I like to goto restaurants travel see movies go to concerts. that just equates to money for me but if they says im a warm caring person, im loyal, im attentive etc, that says who they are. she didnt write anything. so I wanted to talk with her and hear her voice and what she says. very quiet. but she looked nice from the photos. and I can deal with quiet. quiet is nice then those who yammer all the time. I asked if she likes sushi and I invited. profile pics look good. not model pretty but for me just fine. then the whatsapp image- geez.
martaldn Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 U go for a dinner on a first date with someone you wanted to flake!? just meet up in a bar and have a couple of drinks.. maybe alcohol will help with the look haha ! kidding.. just take it easy spend couple of hours with her and then tell her that you dont think you could work together 3
Author rocketman122 Posted August 11, 2015 Author Posted August 11, 2015 alright. sent her through whatsapp. its on. 9pm. dont want to be a flake. a date flaked on me on the 2nd date 2 hours before but wanted to postpone to the next day. didnt like that. so passed on her. I dont want to do to someone what I dont like being done to me. although it wouldnt be 2 hours.
Author rocketman122 Posted August 11, 2015 Author Posted August 11, 2015 U go for a dinner on a first date with someone you wanted to flake!? just meet up in a bar and have a couple of drinks.. maybe alcohol will help with the look haha ! kidding.. just take it easy spend couple of hours with her and then tell her that you dont think you could work together I always go to a restaurant. I was psyched till later when I searched for her whatsapp and saw the image and wow what a fail. messed up teeth. im a pro photog myself and I realize images can lie. I know how to make people look better than they are. its all lighting and perspective with lenses. so I dont always believe an image. but she had 3 that she looked nice. damn I hope she doesnt look like the whatsapp image and more like her OLD profile. fingers crossed. 1
martaldn Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 I always go to a restaurant. I was psyched till later when I searched for her whatsapp and saw the image and wow what a fail. messed up teeth. im a pro photog myself and I realize images can lie. I know how to make people look better than they are. its all lighting and perspective with lenses. so I dont always believe an image. but she had 3 that she looked nice. damn I hope she doesnt look like the whatsapp image and more like her OLD profile. fingers crossed. fingers crossed and let us know.. 1
Toodaloo Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 You know what Rocket. I have PLENTY of REALLY bad pictures of me. They are all over facebook and all sorts. Those photos were taken for a reason. An example of which was for a few months when I was into facebook I would "celebrate" a friend and make my profile picture as similar to theirs as possible. I also have pictures where I am pulling weird manic faces at friends or that have been taken on days when I really do not want anyone to talk to me so I purposefully make my self look as crap as possible... Ironically I actually tend to look much better most days than those ghastly photos. Gollum hasn't got a patch on me the day the heating broke in the office and it was snowing outside and I had to come in to get the wages done... I was wrapped in blankets held together with bull dog clips and had various terriers shoved down my clothes and poking their heads out of random arm holes... Yes my bosses wet themselves and filmed it... Go on the date and see what she looks like. See how well you get on with her.
Author rocketman122 Posted August 11, 2015 Author Posted August 11, 2015 ok back. not going to continue. she was very happy to see me and her eyes lit up and was smiling a lot from cheek to cheek. -I asked if she was a warm person, and immediately got a "nooo, I would not say that at all about me" -needs space as she said. -looks ok. if I had the other things I was looking for looks would not be a problem. not my style but ok. -not communicative although she spoke nonstop and joked that she spoke enough for 6 months worth with me. -very independent mindset that I hate "if we get along great and if not, I dont care to work things out. you can go because im better on my own" where I take the mindset of if we get along great and if not, what can I do to make things better because I want you in my life" I too am independent but prefer to be in a relationship and make things work. not with the if you dont like it fphek off Ill be fine without you. -a bit manly in mindset. I asked her what she thinks of feminism and she said "I think im a bit of a feminist" but after how she explained it, it was not a strong influence in her attitude. what she thinks as feminism isnt really. I tried to make the conversation flow but little by little it just wasnt the person I like to be with. and as well shes one of the woman I noticed a trend with. the ones who are after a bitter divorce and just want monogomy and a partner who will entertain them once in a while. she works till 8-9 everyday. minus friday saturday. she just doesnt have time with her other activities and friends. so basically a friend who will take them out and show them a bit of fun and screw them here and there. but not a full commitment. someone who wants something thats convenient . a lot of them out there. back to the drawing board.
rester Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 I would have just canceled the date. You are still rejecting her but making her sit through dinner knowing you plan to reject her. What a waste of time for both of you. If I were her I would have rather been canceled on than making the effort to go to dinner with someone that isn't interested.
Author rocketman122 Posted August 11, 2015 Author Posted August 11, 2015 theres something to that. I wanted to cancel. but never say never. you never know till you go meet in person. I could deal that shes quiet and looks, but after speaking to her at dinner and getting to know what shes like ,the relationship wouldnt hold. looks was not the deal breaker though as I thought it would be before going. when I met her I was relieved regarding her whatsapp pic. she looked ok. it was other things that came out during dinner that turned me away. after seeing her I said to myself "ok lets try and see if there is the same mindset in relationships" and after the small talk we spoke of how we see it and we were on two extreme edges regarding that. so at first it seemed like no, then seeing her I said, glad I came. then again no, this wont work. well she didnt look like she suffered and I didnt either. we ate sushi laughed a little, talked a little. I didnt tie her up and force her to torture. whats the problem.
phineas Posted August 12, 2015 Posted August 12, 2015 snapchat /skype or GTFO. I got nothing to hide & can't stand women with nothing but myspace angle pics or pics that are clearly hiding their body. 1
SugarLips72 Posted August 12, 2015 Posted August 12, 2015 (edited) next time just meet for coffee. Its cheap, fast and informal. No harm in doing that. Edited August 12, 2015 by SugarLips72
Gary S Posted August 12, 2015 Posted August 12, 2015 While I think practice dates are a good idea, there is no sense going on a date with someone you are repulsed by........send a cancellation text and tell her you met somebody else - you will meet someone else eventually, right?
Author rocketman122 Posted August 12, 2015 Author Posted August 12, 2015 next time just meet for coffee. Its cheap, fast and informal. No harm in doing that. I only do restaurants. I tried the cafe thing. meh. always have success at restaurants. While I think practice dates are a good idea, there is no sense going on a date with someone you are repulsed by........send a cancellation text and tell her you met somebody else - you will meet someone else eventually, right? I dont need practice dates at all. ive been to too many dates already. and I cant send a cancellation text saying I met someone if im still OLD. she can see im online. eventually ill meet someone right. if it happened that I needed to cancel I would call. not send a text.
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