ChuckDee33 Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 Well, after eight months of wavering in and out of reality, I finally started true NC with her. (she broke up with me, not mutual). I told her I can't be her friend and I am ready to move on. I told her I regreted staying in contact with her because it wasn't helping me recover. So she was crying on the phone because she apparently still loves me and it is hard for her to see me go but hey you reap what you sew. So I'm moving an hour away next week and that is a good step for me. I told her I'm not pursuing her anymore and whatever happens happens in the future. So it sucks to let someone go that you love so much, sucks is an understatement but you gotta take care of number one first. Anyway, I have a small concern...back when we were together I had bought her an mp3 player for her birthday. It broke a while down the road but I had bought a 2 year product replacement plan with it so it was covered under warrenty. So I told her I would take care of it when I got a chance and we would go buy her a new player. Well, then break up happened and all the hellish aftermath that I went through and the mp3 player was the last thing on my mind for a long time. ...Since I'm on a better road to recovery lately I've taken care of the mp3 player problem. So now I have this voucher for Best Buy that could buy a number of nice things there. I'm just wondering if I should buy her a new player and send it to her or just use it for myself? I'd feel bad if I didn't send it to her because it was a nice birthday gift and I'd just be replacing the gift, not like I'd be getting her something more expensive. But then it also feels like that would be rewarding her, in a way. I don't owe her anything, I know...but to me it would just feel wrong not to do what I intended to do in the beginning. I wouldn't write anything emotional if I sent it to her...probably just something like "Enjoy this new player, take care." But then again I know I could have a ball in Best Buy with a voucher for $213! Doh! but my conscience is telling me to use it on her like I meant to. Opinions please!
demonfall Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 Good for you. It's tough telling the woman you love that you can't be friends with her. I did that a little over a month ago, but I can honestly say I'm better off after doing so. Maybe just give her the voucher? I wouldn't go out of my way to buy her something else. Send it to her with a small note like you said.
WithOrWithoutYou Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 Another congratulations for doing what was so very hard to do. I have done that before, and it was not fun. You cannot be friends with an ex until you are completely over them. As for what to do about the player/voucher, I guess it depends on the circumstances of the breakup. Was she really evil to you? Did she cheat on you? Was it just an instance of her realizing some things and saying that she had decided you were not the one? If the first two, just spend the damned thing on yourself. If it is the last one, and she is just confused, and it wasn't an instance of her going out and finding someone she liked better behind your back while being with you, send her the voucher with a little note that says something like "I got this from returning that player I bought you for your birthday that broke. I wanted you to have that player when I gave it to you, and I still do, so here is the voucher I got. Take care". -yourname
Author ChuckDee33 Posted May 19, 2005 Author Posted May 19, 2005 Well I said f*ck it and I bought an Ipod Mini with the voucher...for my little sister! HAHA...She broke my heart and is with another guy now. I love her and care for her...she's a good person but she still hurt me when she left. I've gotten SO many nice things for her in the past. Why should I continue to do so now that we aren't companions, not even friends since I'm maintaining NC? It actually makes me feel better and more in control by not sending her anything. I don't care if she still wonders if I intend to use it on her. It's not going to change anything if I do or not. Besides, my sis has been nagging at my parents for an Ipod for a while so I'll be doing them a favor too!
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