People's first impression of me.

[S_A]

maybe you could learn to soften your exterior while meeting someone for the first time, it shouldn't be too hard, try to fall back into the background some and not be so noticed and that will change peoples first impressions..

 

I totally agree. And this is an approach I am well aware of. Sometimes though, alcohol can make it hard to sustain that approach I'm not a jerk when I drink though. Other times, people pull and drag me out of the background on their own.

 

When people really get to know me though, they always want me around. It's just tough to swallow when people's first impression of you is not the best and you know you won't get a second chance for redemption for a long a while. It's my fault though if someone's first impression of me isn't the best. It is, after all, an impression that I left on them. I definitely don't blame anyone else but me.

 

OP - when first read your posts, i totally imagined you in a suit, alpha male kind of businessman... seriously, LOL. have no idea why.

 

Haha nice! I wore suits often, but the last few months I've been a lot more casual. Some people who see me outside of a suit for the first time usually say something to the effect of "wow, I was never able to picture you in anything else but a suit".

 

The alpha comment is interesting. Not sure what I am. Some people say I am Alpha and others say I am Beta. I like to think that I am very good at determining when to yield.

 

my face looks kind of depressed naturally (bitchy resting face), people tend to think I'm in a bad mood or that I'm not having a good time. And they get uneasy. Sorry, can;t smile for 5 minutes straight, let my face lie in peace please, I'm totally fine and having a good time.

 

I read your topic about that. It's really unfortunate that people are wired to make snap judgments about others.

 

I first noticed S_A when he said something nice about his girlfriend (I think) in a post, so my first impression of him is as someone sensitive and loving.

 

Thanks

 

S_A I cannot tell you why, but my initial thought when I try to remember was that you were witty.

 

I'll definitely take that!

 

When people first meet me they think I'm Quiet.

 

Those who know me well see that I have a fiercely passionate part of me...

 

Hence the name Quiet Storm? I see what you did there

 

It's not a very pleasant thing to admit, but of the less positive things - I often get a sense of people not considering me to be a very competent individual. Again, the Bridget Jones syndrome. Fortunately this doesn't seem to be the case with clients, but outside of work...I tend to find people expect me to not be very good at anything, and always seem to be a bit surprised when I do accomplish something reasonably well.

 

That honestly has to be one of the harshest premature judgments someone can make of another person. Sorry to hear that. That'd really upset me.

 

Not sure if this relates but my GF speaks four languages. She learned English as her third language (maybe fourth). The thing is, she speaks without an accent. She has less of an accent than I do and I was actually born in the U.S. (she wasn't). Sometimes, knowing a lot of languages can be confusing and she may say a pair of words in English backwards. Only thing is that in one of the other languages she speaks, if she were to translate what she said in English, backwards would be correct.

 

For instance, someone gave her a tough time because she accidentally said "gun machines" instead of "machine guns". The fact that she speaks without an accent makes it seem like English is her first language so she has no excuse for getting something like that wrong, so they assume she is an air head

[Taramere]

That honestly has to be one of the harshest premature judgments someone can make of another person. Sorry to hear that. That'd really upset me.

 

I'm well used to it. I was a very blonde child, and from an early age I learned that the word "blonde" tended to be used in a derogatory way. I kind of went along with it in a people pleasing way as a child - so to be fair to people who make that judgement about me, there are probably some pretty ingrained aspects of my behaviour and demeanour that invite such judgement.

 

As a young adult, I wanted to prove people wrong by succeeding academically. I soon found out that the same sort of people who will use the "dumb blonde" label will tend to yak on about people who are academically accomplished having no common sense.

 

Once you figure out that people really want you to fit a certain stereotype, it doesn't make sense to invest too much effort trying to change the view they hold of you. They tend to be the same people who are forever looking for validation about what great parents they are, what great cooks, what great drivers etc etc. Out of politeness, you validate them - and in return, they'll keep trying to boost themselves up at your expense.

 

As far as it being upsetting goes - it can occasionally be irritating. I get more annoyed with myself when I realise that I'm sort of just coasting along with it rather than challenging their views. On the other hand, I don't really need or want the validation of people who, on account of their own insecurities, are hungry to paint others as incompetent.

 

Not sure if this relates but my GF speaks four languages. She learned English as her third language (maybe fourth). The thing is, she speaks without an accent. She has less of an accent than I do and I was actually born in the U.S. (she wasn't). Sometimes, knowing a lot of languages can be confusing and she may say a pair of words in English backwards. Only thing is that in one of the other languages she speaks, if she were to translate what she said in English, backwards would be correct.

 

For instance, someone gave her a tough time because she accidentally said "gun machines" instead of "machine guns". The fact that she speaks without an accent makes it seem like English is her first language so she has no excuse for getting something like that wrong, so they assume she is an air head

 

Yeah, that sounds like just the sort of person I'm talking about. Never mind that your girlfriend speaks four languages (and they can probably barely speak one properly). The moment she makes one slip up, they're onto it. And I'm willing to bet that your girlfriend always reacts politely.

[Gloria25]

I don't know what people think of me - especially in first meeting me and I don't give a hoot.

 

I have so much about me that over the years I've heard people flat out say they don't "get me".

 

also had a peer review where people said that I'm 'quiet, but once you get to know her..she's cool'...and I think they're on the money.

 

When it comes to men? I believe their first impression is that I'm intimidating and/or 'why am I still single if I have so much going on for me'...***pfft*** goes to show that I need to stop dating and/or getting interested in losers who wouldn't know a good woman if she fell from the sky on their sorry little heads.

Edited August 11, 2015 by Gloria25

[kilgore]

I come across as sweet and appealing and s good listener but not necessarily compelling at first

[Shepp]

I know people think I'm super laid back, super easy going, friendly, good natured..

Which I am.. but I'm also much more focused, alert, decisive than people get.. not really there fault cause I kinda keep that more to myself anyway ...I wait to you know and love me before I let you realise im a huge control freak :lmao:

 

 

I think folk also tend to assume im not that intelligent, a bit "dumb jock", cause im sports mad, all about having a laugh, and a bit clumsy. I'm happy to be the fool for the sake of a laugh. But I was got straight A's at school, and I consider myself pretty switched on.

 

 

But end of the day they can think what they want, if they underestimate me then I guess I've got a secret weapon in the bag, if they overestimate me then.. well fake it till you make it right.

 

 

I guess in general people tend to like me when they meet me, its pretty rare for people not to and their usually pretentious boneheads that's their opinion to have My missus is probably a bit more though... she's hands down the most magnetic, enchanting person I've ever met.. she's a straight shooter though, says it how it is, feisty. People either practically fall in love with her or she gets the 'arrogant', 'difficult' kinda opinions. ...She tends to say its girls who are less likely to like her.

[tuxedo cat]

I've gotten such wildly diverse feedback from people on my first impression: everything from "very well adjusted" and "happy" to "weird", "off", "awkward", "extremely shy." A lot of it has to do with what context, mood or stage in life people happen to catch me in. The consensus seems to be that people don't know what to make of my unusual shyness. Many guys have told me that they're puzzled by my reserved personality because they consider me attractive, as if women are not allowed to be both attractive and quiet or anxious.

 

What else...I'm fairly disorganized and dreamy, so I've gotten space cadet. Because I'm not showy with my intelligence, people are often taken aback when they become aware of my skill level and knowledge in certain areas. That said, I also get told pretty consistently that I'm nice, sweet and kind. At least I'm doing one thing right!