Women, if you know that you like a guy, does it matter how he asks you out?

[galaxyman]

I haven't dated in 5 years. And I'm afraid of screwing this up. I met this girl who seemed very interested. And, I'm very worried about not giving the right vibe.

 

Some people tell me to be very bold. But it comes off as very "douchey". Example: "Hey____. Pub. tomorrow. Let's do it."

Some people have advised me to be very direct. But, that comes off kind of desperate and awkward. Example: "Hey_____. I like you. I think you're cool. Wanna go out sometime?"

Anything else sounds too "polite". I feel like there's no proper tone to ask someone out to hangout without seeming desperate.

 

Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with this?

[SycamoreCircle]

Yup. Be very in-the-moment. Don't rehearse anything. Don't plan to be something. Just be yourself. Speak to her. Listen to her. Follow her cues. What happens happens.

[GemmaUK]

'Hey, do you fancy a beer after work tomorrow at the Red Lion?'

Would work for me..

[pteromom]

I disagree with the bold approach. That can make you seem like a pushy controlling type.

 

So you already know this girl. You already know she seems interested.

 

The next step is finding something you think she would enjoy, and asking her to join you.

 

"Hey, I was thinking about seeing the (insert band name here) concert this weekend. Would you be interested in joining me?"

 

"The town mosquito festival is at Larvae Park on Saturday. Wanna check it out?"

 

"Have you tried that new pizza place on Main Street?"

 

Keep it casual and light and easy. Have a plan in place as far as options for a date (having a plan also helps her know what to wear, which is a major relief!) but don't have specific plans as to what to SAY - just go with the flow.

 

Good luck! Report back!

[newmoon]

ask only when you have something specific in mind, not necessarily the date/time, but a specific activity or event that SHE will like. don't demonstrate how unique and inventive you are, but cater to her interests first time out, some group she mentioned, a place she brought up, etc. casual/polite invitation geared to her specifically should be a winner - if she likes you :-) nothing wrong with polite...!

[guest569]

It probably does matter to a certain extent. If he is too aggressive it might be off putting. I like the bold option with a question mark at the end.

[HansonGirl]

I haven't dated in 5 years. And I'm afraid of screwing this up. I met this girl who seemed very interested. And, I'm very worried about not giving the right vibe.

 

Some people tell me to be very bold. But it comes off as very "douchey". Example: "Hey____. Pub. tomorrow. Let's do it."

Some people have advised me to be very direct. But, that comes off kind of desperate and awkward. Example: "Hey_____. I like you. I think you're cool. Wanna go out sometime?"

Anything else sounds too "polite". I feel like there's no proper tone to ask someone out to hangout without seeming desperate.

 

Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with this?

 

Ok i don't think you should do EITHER of those options. those are on opposite ends of the spectrum. how about something in the middle. The first one sounds like you are maybe uneducated or an idiot. The second one is too much. Like, be specific about where you want to go, but don't be a tool, and no need to say "i like you. i think you're cool"

 

heres an example of something in the middle.

Hey Sandra, I was thinking of checking out __ pub on Saturday. would you like to go?

 

that's just an example, of course there are tons of ways to ask it.

[LilaMarie]

Remember that everyone is different...and that the answer can vary from person to person. What is her personality like?

 

 

If the guy I LIKED texted me that I would react positive. I would most likely say yes but if I was a bit hesitant about the date, you would at least have my full attention (a confident man is attractive).

[d0nnivain]

Strike a balance between the two. You can't be too polite.

 

 

Instead of bossing her around or being equivocal, try, Can I take you to dinner tomorrow at the pub?

[AlurOne]

Have an activity in mnd that will be fun for you both, and ask if she wants to do it with you. Don't do the "hey would you want to get together sometime?"

[jinzhi]

I think she is really interested in you, you do what she will be happy!Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.

[littlestar4u]

I think you are right... But on a good day, If i want to ask a lady out. I will call her and ask if she's doing great. If she said yes, then, I will tell her that i would love to take her out and would she mind if i pick a date and place? Or would she she cos i don't know her schedules for the week...

[Eggplant]

I haven't dated in 5 years. And I'm afraid of screwing this up. I met this girl who seemed very interested. And, I'm very worried about not giving the right vibe.

 

Some people tell me to be very bold. But it comes off as very "douchey". Example: "Hey____. Pub. tomorrow. Let's do it."

Some people have advised me to be very direct. But, that comes off kind of desperate and awkward. Example: "Hey_____. I like you. I think you're cool. Wanna go out sometime?"

Anything else sounds too "polite". I feel like there's no proper tone to ask someone out to hangout without seeming desperate.

 

Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with this?

 

 

I don't know how men don't know this kind of thing. Public service announcement, lol.

 

 

Forget your 1st 2 ideas, and go with polite. You cannot be too polite when asking a woman out. The more polite, the better. Gentleman = potentially serious.

 

 

Always ask her out in a way that allows her to not completely lose her dignity by saying yes. Ask her out in a way that shows it's not an aggressive pick-up line used on masses of anybody who passes by.

 

 

Your 2nd idea, in which you say, "I like you," is way too forward and fast. You'll scare her away. Confession of feelings should be dealt with delicately.