Gaeta Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 I made an offer and he replied: That would be so nice. I've been so busy this summer, it's so crazy, one day we could do that go out for sure.
No_Go Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 I'm afraid it is rejection, not even masked ("the one day" statement, the "so crazy" busy part, the brevity.....). I'd pass the communication on him, and keep very low expectations. I made an offer and he replied: That would be so nice. I've been so busy this summer, it's so crazy, one day we could do that go out for sure. 1
Author Gaeta Posted August 10, 2015 Author Posted August 10, 2015 Ya..... When I saw the first sentence 'that would be so nice' I was happy but the 'one day' kind of ruined it. 2
LoveRefreshed Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 Sometimes I write "You wanna go grab a drink sometime" and then I feel like a jackass because I didn't put a time on it. It's just casual typing that comes out. I do not tell a girl that I'd like to do that sometime without reallllly meaning it. You could try responding "How about next Tuesday?" Then you'll know for sure. 1
GemmaUK Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 he way you said 'I made an offer' n your post made me think it was more than a date night offer? If this was something like a long weekend away or a holiday or something then right now I would have had to have given the same response as he did. I simply can't take time off work right now. It wouldn't mean I wouldn't want to but the option isn't there for me to have advanced planned time off for a few months at the least. 1
LoveRefreshed Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 he way you said 'I made an offer' n your post made me think it was more than a date night offer? If this was something like a long weekend away or a holiday or something then right now I would have had to have given the same response as he did. I simply can't take time off work right now. It wouldn't mean I wouldn't want to but the option isn't there for me to have advanced planned time off for a few months at the least. Good point, I didn't catch that. If I don't know how I feel about a girl, I also wouldn't throw down for a weekend vacation until I got to know them better. In general, I don't do anything that requires a lengthy time commitment with people I don't know very well.
Author Gaeta Posted August 10, 2015 Author Posted August 10, 2015 he way you said 'I made an offer' n your post made me think it was more than a date night offer? Nah, just offered to go to the movies or grab a bite on a terrace.
Author Gaeta Posted August 10, 2015 Author Posted August 10, 2015 This is someone I dated for a couple of months about 2 years ago.
Author Gaeta Posted August 10, 2015 Author Posted August 10, 2015 I ended it and I've regretted doing so.
GemmaUK Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 Nah, just offered to go to the movies or grab a bite on a terrace. When did you last see him? If he is always too busy then he might just be too busy to date or not be aware that when you're busy you have to make time to date if it's something you want a result from. Or, he could just be letting you down gently. Did he counter offer?
GemmaUK Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 I ended it and I've regretted doing so. OK, more info needed, the good and bad bits of what happened back then. That is if you are thinking about contacting him again? You ended it for a reason back then and I suspect it was a bit more than just due to his reply to your offer.
LoveRefreshed Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 Just pick a specific day and ask him. Stop beating yourself up with hypotheticals. Also, if you ended it with him, he could be reluctant to go out with you, if you hurt him. I know that if I wanted a woman, and she broke it off with me, I wouldn't meet her for a bite on a terrace and a movie. I have enough friends.
Author Gaeta Posted August 10, 2015 Author Posted August 10, 2015 OK, more info needed, the good and bad bits of what happened back then. That is if you are thinking about contacting him again? You ended it for a reason back then and I suspect it was a bit more than just due to his reply to your offer. I ended it because he was too busy. I guess there is no reasons for me to revisit this again. I always felt he was one of the very few men I met that was genuine. But genuine-busy won't keep me warm at night.
GemmaUK Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 I ended it because he was too busy. I guess there is no reasons for me to revisit this again. I always felt he was one of the very few men I met that was genuine. But genuine-busy won't keep me warm at night. If you asked him the question just recently and that was his answer then I would leave it there. If not and you are both still interested and could both compromise and communicate it then that could be a different story.
todreaminblue Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 I made an offer and he replied: That would be so nice. I've been so busy this summer, it's so crazy, one day we could do that go out for sure. maybe you could text back when you are ready and things settle down for you to go grab a bite give me a call....caio till i hear from you, stay sane....then leave the ball in his court....text messages are sometimes hard to interpret and the only truth in perception, lies in the person who sent it...personally i would not take that particular text as rejection ......when your message of an offer might not have been specific.....deb
kendahke Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 If he was busy then and is busy now, then there is your answer.
katiegrl Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 (edited) I made an offer and he replied: That would be so nice. I've been so busy this summer, it's so crazy, one day we could do that go out for sure. Gaeta, I interpret his response as sure he'd love to meet up sometime when things calm down....as friends. If he were interested in dating you again, I highly doubt he would have worded it that way. It definitely sounds like something you would say to a friend in response to an invite. So IMO it's a rejection for dating, but not a rejection for being friends. I think this was his intention. To let you know he *is* interested, but just as friends. At least for now. By the way, how did you word your invitation? He may have interpreted YOUR invite the same way -- two friends meeting up for movie and dinner... Not saying once you meet up, there could not be more! But he doesn't want you thinking that if you do meet up, it would automatically lead to dating again. If the chemistry is still there, then fabulous, but he is being cautious, and since you ended it two years ago, rightfully so. Are you planning on responding back? You could say something like "great, give me a call when things get less hectic, it would be great to see you." Just my two cents...... Edited August 11, 2015 by katiegrl 1
carhill Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 Heard this a lot, and long before the internet de-personalized such responses. It means 'no'.
LookAtThisPOst Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 I made an offer and he replied: That would be so nice. I've been so busy this summer, it's so crazy, one day we could do that go out for sure. Usually when women that I ask out use the word, "crazy" in a sentence or "things have been crazy!" It's a profound NO! I recall going out on one date with a woman, but she told me her daughter has moved back in with her and has jumped back on the drug using bandwagon, so wasn't in the mind frame of dating anymore.
angel.eyes Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 "...one day we could..." That's the meat of his response. It's the equivalent of "we should do lunch sometime," said by two people who have no intention of ever getting together. If he were genuinely interested, he would have been a little more concrete about a potential timeframe. Ditto for using the word "could." Of course, you could meet. Any two people can. You just won't. It was a gracious way of saying "no, but thanks for asking." Your instincts are right.
Author Gaeta Posted August 11, 2015 Author Posted August 11, 2015 So consensus is this is a kind rejection or at most a friendly yes for later when hens grow teeth. Thanks for your input.
katiegrl Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 "...one day we could..." That's the meat of his response. It's the equivalent of "we should do lunch sometime," said by two people who have no intention of ever getting together. If he were genuinely interested, he would have been a little more concrete about a potential timeframe. Ditto for using the word "could." Of course, you could meet. Any two people can. You just won't. It was a gracious way of saying "no, but thanks for asking." Your instincts are right. I think people read too much into the words *could* *would* *should*. These words are often interchanged but have the same meaning... Would it have been better if he said *should* instead if *could*? Maybe. But I doubt he was even thinking about that. Gee should I say should or could? Lol And by the way, my *friends* and I often say "we should do lunch"! And we mean it! 1
Toodaloo Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 Sorry its not worked out again Gaeta. Not much else to say really... Chin up chook.
Redhead14 Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 (edited) I think people read too much into the words *could* *would* *should*. These words are often interchanged but have the same meaning... Would it have been better if he said *should* instead if *could*? Maybe. But I doubt he was even thinking about that. Gee should I say should or could? Lol And by the way, my *friends* and I often say "we should do lunch"! And we mean it! Ambiguous questions get ambiguous responses . . . that being said, if this guy was smart and/or actually interested, he would have responded with specificity. Edited August 11, 2015 by Redhead14 2
katiegrl Posted August 11, 2015 Posted August 11, 2015 (edited) ***Ambiguous questions get ambiguous responses .*** . . that being said, if this guy was smart and/or actually interested, he would have responded with specificity. Of course ...that is why I asked Gaeta how SHE worded her invite. If she worded it casually, like an invite to an old friend, he is going to respond the same way ...casually like a friend. And keep in mind RH, Gaeta was the one who ended it two years ago. He would be foolish to start pursuing her now, without a clearer signal from her that she is even interested in dating again. He may think she's like many women (and men too), in between relationships and bored, looking up old boyfriends and seeing who will bite. Knowing Gaeta, that was not her intention, but HE does not know that. Just sain.,.. Edited August 11, 2015 by katiegrl
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