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Posted

You're entitled to be attracted to fit women if you wish. I wouldn't suggest that you go after women who don't get it up for you. You like what you like, and there's nothing wrong with that.

 

However, the gist I'm getting is that your order of priorities for women are:

 

1) Looks

2) Quality of character

 

You really need to reverse that order. I'm not saying get involved with women you're not sexually attracted to, but just because a woman is hot doesn't mean she's a viable mate and is worthy dating material. You need to learn to reject good looking women who aren't good people and/or relationship material.

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Posted
What is interesting is her physical attributes and issues came first in your synopsis than, what most would consider to be far more concerning, character flaws. That, I think, is worth deepdiving for you. Why the shallowness of external features weights so heavy especially in regards to accountability, direction, passion, etc.

 

I am glad that you have cut her off, she is a leach and isn't worth your time. Glad you found out now!

 

But maybe work on opening your perimeters a bit. I am not saying you need to date someone that is overweight, but may not have complete physical perfection but are of stellar personality and character. Maybe be a good partner for you. :)

 

 

I revealed the issues in order of lest problematic to most problematic. They were in perfect order.

 

The phone thing is what freed me from her spell.

 

I simply can't date people I'm not physically attracted to.

 

Putting it crassly and bluntly, I won't get a boner and sex will suck for them.,:lmao:

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Posted
(meant to add this above)

 

LW, I swear if I hear any "got back together" stories about yoga lady at this point I'm gonna beat your ass. ;)

 

Whew... narrowly avoiding the beatdown. :D

 

I've lost all interest in anything romantic with her. Rest assured, the phone thing broke her spell.

 

Would I still get hit if I continued hooking up with her here and there when I felt like it?

 

I swear I have absolutely zero ferlings for her at this point. None.

 

Not even FWB... more like adversaries with benefits. :lmao:

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Posted

To all the posters who said to make sure to put character before looks...

 

You're all correct.

 

Unfortunately, character is revealed much later than looks.

 

There is a lot of Ikea furniture to hook up with before you find a set that's well built.

 

I'm sorting through them.... it's not easy.

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Posted
I agree with this...I was quite struck by how uncompromising you are, OP, on physical attributes but clearly give a lot of leeway on personality. Seems like you're inclined to see the pretty packaging and fill in the interior you want to be there, rather than who she actually is. (I'm going off the idea you express from time to time that you actually want to change something about how you date/find partners. I honestly don't know whether you really do, because sometimes you seem open to it and others you seem to think there isn't anything to improve on. If the latter is the case, feel free to ignore, of course.)

 

No one's saying, of course, that you should date someone obese, so I hope we won't go down that red herring road. But I do think that you should ask yourself why the packaging comes first, and why you're inclined to put someone on a pedestal based on that, and ignore the red flags that I'm sure are there. I think it's really unlikely, given the amount of time you've spent with this woman in the past, that she never exhibited any of the personality traits you've discovered in the past few weeks - particularly given how extreme they seem to be. What about her even indicated that she had a good heart? Because she talked about being on an ashram? But what about her past actions, or her other relationships, indicated that she would be a good partner, a giving person, a kind one? (Her ass in yoga pants isn't a good answer.)

 

I actually convinced her to go to the ashram when she was considering it. She took my advice.

 

Problem is, I see the good in my romantic interests, not the bad. I have a positive outlook and selective memory when it comes to others.

 

I actually thought she lived as the spirituality she preaches, which would be a dream girl, really. I was wrong.

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Posted
I agree that the phone stealing shows bad character but weren't you offering her untold amounts of money just for hanging around with you, if she is so money grubbing why wasn't this enough for her? And if "all about the $$$" is a turn off for you why are you always talking about paying for the company of girls??:confused::confused: That is what you will be attracting of course!

 

Wrong Loveshack guy.

 

I'm not a sugar daddy. That's Robert.

 

I offer no money, but am gentlemanly and pay for dates and stuff like a man should... especially a man who makes much more than the woman he's dating.

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Posted
Ok I am sorry you have put yourself through this mess but it sounds very high school confidential to me, sorry - but I have to say that until you don't think that "seeing beyond the gut" is such a great personal accomplishment of yours, you won't be having any of what I call 'real" relationships anytime soon ...

 

 

Actually, all I've had all my life is long term, real relationships, including 12 years (10 married) to my last one. Wouldn't you know it...my ex wife didn't have a gut either.

 

I'm pretty sure I'll have a new relationship soon, as I sort out what I'm looking for while sorting through all these various girls.

 

You're thinking of guys who don't get girls here. I'm not one of those. My problem is I'm starting over in life and trying to choose well.

 

My other problem is i post my failures up here for all to see. lmao

Posted

If a girl litters around me that is enough for me to turn off from her for good.

 

Cocaine, and keeping a lost cell phone.. yeah, more than enough to lose interest. Good you had your wakeup call and you can move on.

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Posted
To all the posters who said to make sure to put character before looks...

 

You're all correct.

 

Unfortunately, character is revealed much later than looks.

 

There is a lot of Ikea furniture to hook up with before you find a set that's well built.

 

I'm sorting through them.... it's not easy.

 

This is why you date a woman for a while before you have sex with her. Just because a woman is hot doesn't mean you must have sex.

 

Women I have sex with early on are women I'm not interested in a relationship with. But women I think I may actually be compatible with, I abstain. Sex confuses things, especially our male brains.

 

In other words, STOP THINKING WITH YOUR D!CK.

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Posted
This is why you date a woman for a while before you have sex with her. Just because a woman is hot doesn't mean you must have sex.

 

Women I have sex with early on are women I'm not interested in a relationship with. But women I think I may actually be compatible with, I abstain. Sex confuses things, especially our male brains.

 

In other words, STOP THINKING WITH YOUR D!CK.

 

Doesn't work that way in real life in my experience.

 

I have to "put out" by the first or second date to keep a chick around.

 

They're all into immediate sex and it better be good, or you're gone.

 

That's the world we live in.

Posted
This is why you date a woman for a while before you have sex with her. Just because a woman is hot doesn't mean you must have sex.

 

Women I have sex with early on are women I'm not interested in a relationship with. But women I think I may actually be compatible with, I abstain. …

 

This is true for a lot of women too. Lots.

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Posted
Doesn't work that way in real life in my experience.

 

I have to "put out" by the first or second date to keep a chick around.

 

They're all into immediate sex and it better be good, or you're gone.

 

That's the world we live in.

 

That is completely false. If a woman expects you to have sex on the first or second date, that should be the first red flag.

 

Women who are actually looking for something meaningful don't want to hop on your dick right away.

 

ETA: Your lady picker is really out of whack, man.

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Posted
This is true for a lot of women too. Lots.

 

Exactly. Which is extremely relevant to the OP's situation. :)

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Posted
That is completely false. If a woman expects you to have sex on the first or second date, that should be the first red flag.

 

Women who are actually looking for something meaningful don't want to hop on your dick right away.

 

ETA: Your lady picker is really out of whack, man.

 

IDK... read this forum, even.

 

Many, many posts with women on second dates or so bailing because the sex wasn't there. They are guessing if the guy might be gay, etc...

 

It just doesn't work like that in East Coast urban areas.

 

No argument my picker is off.... :lmao: Always has been

Posted
IDK... read this forum, even.

 

Many, many posts with women on second dates or so bailing because the sex wasn't there. They are guessing if the guy might be gay, etc...

 

It just doesn't work like that in East Coast urban areas.

 

No argument my picker is off.... :lmao: Always has been

 

I don't think those ladies are looking for something meaningful, even the ones who post here on LS. And no offense to the ladies here, but not even all of them are good relationship material. Look, LS is like a slutty group of high school girls complaining about really dumb $h!t; comparing real life to some of the women here is just...not a good idea.

 

I stand by my statement; women who expect sex on the first or second date are not relationship material. And I really doubt you've met every single woman on the East Coast. I think a big part of it is the particular locations (clubs, bars, etc.) that you're going to to find women. Don't pick up women there. Try a library or a museum.

 

But stay away from meat markets, because all you'll get is meat and nothing actually human.

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Posted
Look, LS is like a slutty group of high school girls complaining about really dumb $h!t; comparing real life to some of the women here is just...not a good idea.
And the Lord spaketh unto him, "Prepare thyself for their wrath, for ye shall flee into the hills and they shall descend upon you and ye shall seek solace in thy brother's house and they shall descend upon you. In neither country nor city shall ye find respite from their dominion."
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Posted (edited)
And the Lord spaketh unto him, "Prepare thyself for their wrath, for ye shall flee into the hills and they shall descend upon you and ye shall seek solace in thy brother's house and they shall descend upon you. In neither country nor city shall ye find respite from their dominion."

 

Have you ever read the OM/OW section? It's a ****ing travesty.

 

LS is not the place to go to to compare women in real life.

 

Online wrath is sooo scary. At worst, I get banned. BFD. I come here when I'm bored and there's literally nothing else to do (stuck at home on OFLA/FMLA with a broken leg).

 

"I want what I want when I want it, I should be able to engage in questionable behavior with no consequences or judgment from anyone, and I have absolutely no regard for other people." Hey OP, does that sound familiar? Cuz it sure sounds like yoga lady to me.

 

They gotta offer more than just pu$$y. But more importantly, you gotta stop lapping it up.

 

ETA: By the way, I'm an atheist. Can't say I'm particularly frightened of some "omnipotent" sky god who just so "powerful" that it can't even force me to believe it.

Edited by toolforgrowth
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Posted

Actually, I fear the wrath of the ladies more than god ...... but then again I'm an agnostic who's been lapping it up for years :laugh:

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Posted
IDK... read this forum, even.

 

Many, many posts with women on second dates or so bailing because the sex wasn't there. They are guessing if the guy might be gay, etc...

 

It just doesn't work like that in East Coast urban areas.

 

I think I said this somewhere before, if it matters at all, but this is quite true in a lot of places - particularly dense metro areas. And even the 'good' girls. I even get a lot of it in Chicago forex, which I assume is more laid back than NY - women who expect to be profoundly impressed sexually right from the get-go. In other words, you better knock it out early or else.

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Posted (edited)

I don't often agree with toolforgrowth but I certainly agree with him here.

 

I have to "put out" by the first or second date to keep a chick around.

 

They're all into immediate sex and it better be good, or you're gone.

 

Loveweary please, for the love of all things holy, don't think this. This kind of thinking is what is getting you into trouble in the first place. I know many high quality women who would never hop on a guy's dick and take a ride if they were in search of a relationship.

 

You keep focusing on the wrong things, and that's why you keep getting into the same bad situations. You are so unbelievably rigid about the body type. Maybe you need to focus on that a little bit less and focus on the woman and her treatment to you and others a little bit more. There are flags that you can pick up on early on. It shouldn't take you 6 years to figure someone out. You said something before along the lines of picking women much much younger than you? Well therein lies the problem. Maybe you should be looking for women closer to your age. You're fishing in the wrong pond. Many women who are that young haven't figured their own sh** out yet.

 

I also wouldn't put in a huge stock into everything everyone ever says on loveshack. I used to think that I absolutely under no condition should allow a man to ever pay for me, otherwise that automatically makes me a gold digger. Now, where did I read that? On here of course. But then I went out and actually dated, and met men who actually enjoyed paying for my coffee and opening the door for me. There are lots of people on loveshack who are struggling, and many of them often give advice when they themselves have very little experience, or none at all. Getting into the sack with a woman because some loveshack nobodies said that's the way to do it is going to get you into bad situations.

 

I'm not even going to comment on yoga woman. The nicest thing one can say about her is that she's the bottom of the barrel. Don't you think you deserve much MUCH better than her?

Edited by CrystalCastles
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Posted
Have you ever read the OM/OW section? It's a ****ing travesty.

 

LS is not the place to go to to compare women in real life.

 

Online wrath is sooo scary. At worst, I get banned. BFD. I come here when I'm bored and there's literally nothing else to do (stuck at home on OFLA/FMLA with a broken leg).

 

"I want what I want when I want it, I should be able to engage in questionable behavior with no consequences or judgment from anyone, and I have absolutely no regard for other people." Hey OP, does that sound familiar? Cuz it sure sounds like yoga lady to me.

 

They gotta offer more than just pu$$y. But more importantly, you gotta stop lapping it up.

 

ETA: By the way, I'm an atheist. Can't say I'm particularly frightened of some "omnipotent" sky god who just so "powerful" that it can't even force me to believe it.

I was just making a joke. I thought you made a provocative statement that would get a lot of attention. Looks like you're doing OK so far, though.
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Posted
This is why you date a woman for a while before you have sex with her. Just because a woman is hot doesn't mean you must have sex.

 

Women I have sex with early on are women I'm not interested in a relationship with. But women I think I may actually be compatible with, I abstain. Sex confuses things, especially our male brains.

 

In other words, STOP THINKING WITH YOUR D!CK.

 

Interesting - so is it really true to wait 6 month before HOPPING ON board?

 

Gawd, I'd be so p!ssed if I had to wait that long to find out he sucks in bed.

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Posted
Interesting - so is it really true to wait 6 month before HOPPING ON board?

 

Gawd, I'd be so p!ssed if I had to wait that long to find out he sucks in bed.

 

He didn't say anything about 6 months. Nobody did. I'm not sure where you read that.

 

I think he meant having sex on the first or second date. Before you even know, or have the time to figure out WHO exactly you're having sex with.

Posted

Yes, you're right. I was told that from a friend and wanted to ask from another guy's perspective.

 

My bff who got married, she waited 6 months before having sex with him.

Posted
I was just making a joke. I thought you made a provocative statement that would get a lot of attention. Looks like you're doing OK so far, though.

 

I don't think anyone's taking him seriously. ;)

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