BigB Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 IE: a waitress? There is this little cafe in town that I go to all the time, and there are some cute girls working there. One of them only works on Sundays, I used to see her there every week, and she was always super nice to me, smiles, eye contact, asking how I am, asking about my motorcycle, etc. Then s*** happened and I didn't go in there on a Sunday for like 6-8 months. Today I went in there with my parents and she was like super excited to see me, asking where I've been, smiling, forgetting to fill drink orders so she could talk to me, telling me her work schedule, etc. My sister thinks she likes me, but I can never tell, because it's her job to be nice. there is another girl at the same cafe who works during the week, I still see her there about once a week, same thing, super nice, remembers what I always order, asks about my busted foot (I used to come in on crutches all the time), asks about work, smiles, eye contact, etc. With this one, my Mom thinks she likes me, but same thing, I'm clue less. I can't seem to tell if these girls are being flirty and nice to me because they like me, or because I'm a regular customer and it's their job to be nice.
alphamale Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 let me give u some real good advice BIGB (from a 40 yr old who's been around).... do not....i repeat...do not hit on or try to pickup any woman who works for tips, waitresses, hairdressers, bartenders. they will shoot you down every time. many of them will flirt with u on purpose to get more $$ outta yer a$$. the only exception would be if she blatantly hit on you first like slipping u her # or asking u out.
Marshbear Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 I agree with Alpha. When a person works for tips their motivations are usually for cash. A stripper will be nice to you but as soon as you run out of cash, she's gone. I guess if you need to satisfy your curiosity you can ask them out but don't be mad if they say no.
amerikajin Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 That's generally true, but I have on two or three occasions, and on two of those occasions there was genuine interest on the part of the other person - and looking back on it, one of those chicks was really, really hot and I could kick myself for not following it up. So I guess I don't know on this one. I'd agree with alpha, though, that it does take a little extra study to check whether or not she's really interested. I think the way you tell with a waitress is the way you'd tell with anyone else. Every waitress will smile and chat with you a little bit, but not every waitress will suggest future activities together or touch you - only waitresses who want to do more than just serve you dinner would do that. If she does any of those things, then I'd follow that up ASAP. If she doesn't do either of those things, I'd play it really cool. If you feel like taking the initiative, then the best thing you could do would be to suggest a get together. Don't go for the date straight off the bat, 'cause that might create weird tension, especially if she rejects you. Find out what her interests are, and then think of something you can do together that's not really a "date". Come back in a week or so and then suggest it to her and see where it goes. Now personally, if it were me, I might just try to see if she gives me the really strong signals (touching and suggesting future activities) first. But then again, sometimes, life rewards those who take the initiative. Nobody can really make that call for you, dude. Just do what feels comfortable. But don't just straight up ask her out on a date.
HoldOn Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 I used to be a waitress. I'd say it's okay to ask a waitress out, because if you are classy about it you'll stand out from all the losers and freaks. Do NOT leave your number and a note on the table. That happened to me all the time, and it is sooo lame. Also, how am I supposed to remember who you are. If there are four guys at the table, I have no idea who "John" is. Hello! Do NOT touch her. Even a brush on the arm while she's working will get her defenses up, because of all the sexual harrassment she has to go through. If you're a regular you have a much better chance. Try getting her number, don't give her your number. Work up a relp first by coming by often and asking her about herself. Then test the waters by suggesting an outting outside of her work. If she seems positive, then ask for her number. She'll turn you down if she doesn't want to. And she won't think any less of you or ridicule you if you do it nicely and not with a stupid note or something.
alphamale Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by HoldOn If you're a regular you have a much better chance. I do agree with the above HOLDON.
Author BigB Posted May 9, 2005 Author Posted May 9, 2005 This is more of a coffee shop type place, that also serves food. You pay at the counter, so there is no tipping. There is a tip jar on the counter, but I've never seen anyone use it. *keeps reading other posts*
Author BigB Posted May 9, 2005 Author Posted May 9, 2005 I'll also add, the second girl remembered my parents who don't go there very often and asked them about me when they came in together. good sign?
HoldOn Posted May 9, 2005 Posted May 9, 2005 If she remembered you from months ago, that is a great sign. If I didn't like somebody, I'd pretend NOT to remember them, even if I did.
Author BigB Posted May 9, 2005 Author Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by HoldOn If she remembered you from months ago, that is a great sign. If I didn't like somebody, I'd pretend NOT to remember them, even if I did. yeah, that's kinda what I figured. I go to all kinds of places regularly, and get served by the same people, but they don't treat me any differently than a first time customer. At best I'll get a "hi there!" like they remember me a little. So, she remembered me from months ago, even with different clothes and a hat on, got excited to see me, proceeded to hold up the line and ignore my dad while trying to talk to me, and screwing up my sisters drink order. Followed by my sister saying "I think that blond girl likes you"... like I said, I'm clue less....
Author BigB Posted May 9, 2005 Author Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by Marshbear I agree with Alpha. When a person works for tips their motivations are usually for cash. A stripper will be nice to you but as soon as you run out of cash, she's gone. Funny that you mention strippers and cash. I went to a bachelor party last year, and spend my last $100 on a lap dance with a stripper at a club. Only dance I got that night, as I didn't have much money. after the dance she asked if I'd like another, I said "sorry, that was the last of my money" about 15 minutes later, she walked up to my table in front of all the boys and kissed me. I must be bored...
Author BigB Posted May 11, 2005 Author Posted May 11, 2005 wow, that last post sure stopped this thread cold.... So, I'm thinking I might make a point to go hangout at this place on Sunday before work(when girl 1 is working) and sit closer to the counter than normal and she if maybe I can strike op a conversation... Worth a try eh? Might try the same with girl 2, later this morning, can't hurt I guess.... although post graveyard shift me is probably not my most attractive state.
amerikajin Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 BigB, You go for it, man. You know, you seem like a genuine dude. I bet a lot of chicks would really appreciate that, considering how many bulls***ters there are out there.
Author BigB Posted May 11, 2005 Author Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by amerikajin BigB, You go for it, man. You know, you seem like a genuine dude. I bet a lot of chicks would really appreciate that, considering how many bulls***ters there are out there. thanks dude.. no BS here, I don't think I even know how... *hopes that red eyes, unshaved beard, and lame security uniform is attractive to chick 2*
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