Aries82 Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 Ok, I am back again, but I am much stronger then before, and I am using my brain instead. Background it is not important anymore, but in short she left me after seven years, reasons for that will not be ever clear enough for me. She contacted me every month or two and she came twice to see me. First time when she came she was all cried out, told me that she does not love me anymore and that she has no a problem imagine me with someone else, she wanted for us to be just friends. I did not trust her so I chased her, I know. I was really depressed, crying every day, thinking about the best way to commit suicide, went to therapy, etc. So, I cut off contact with her for the two months, then I called her. She was so happy and could not believe that I did, we agreed that she come in my town for a couple of days for talking about everything. It was amazing. I offered her my couch to sleep on, but she insist sleep in my bed, near to me. She would hugged me and hold my hand, I missed her so much. We watched movies, I introduced her with my new friends, we went out, she made me a romantic dinner, we slept together and she left.It was two months ago. Since then we were in contact, talked, she was sometimes crying telling me that she was not good enough for me, I was convincing her that was not truth, that she was perfect and I adore her, and that I will prove her with all I can that she is wrong. I also told her, when she pulled the friendship line, that if she doesn't want me that she need to stop calling me and messaging to me, because I need time to heal, but she did, it was confusing. It was all fine, until she started working on her job (she is a seasonal worker) and her colleague moved in with her, the colleague I never liked because he is a jerk. She has a big house, and when we lived together her family gave us a top floor, and we made our home there and now he lives there with her in our room. When she told me that she was very aggressive and told me it has nothing to do with you, So, asked her what if it is the opposite, she told me that she has full trust in me that it is nothing going to happen between them. I was hurt and told her that. So, I avoided her for a week, but she kept calling me. In the end I agreed to talk to her and we did every week, then she started to be distant. We agreed talk on skype, she avoided twice, I sent her an email, she did not respond. I was really tired of that, and when we finally met on skype it was like this in short : Her: I did not know how to respond on your email, but it was very nice to hear some things. I am much better since I am working and hanging out with him (colleague) Me: I am very happy to hear that, I am proud of you. But I cant live like this anymore, like a dog, who you kept near to you just in case you changed your mind (I was calm and not mad at all). You came to me twice, we made love, you said you love me then you back off again, I don't get it. Her: that is so awful of me and I don't know on how many times and on what way I need to tell you that I do not want to be with you. Me: Ok, so I wish you the best, don't call me, you proved everything and nothing can change that (I stayed calm, very calm), and I have any reason to be very harsh on you, but I won't, because I care for you, so goodbye. She was mostly silent. She also said that she is very confused and asked me can we be friends or not. I said no, but maybe in the future. Am I hurt yes, I do love her, but I am not weak anymore and I living my life with or without her, I don't cry. But why people do that, does anyone have similar experience, because I really don't get it. Sorry for the long post.
quattrob Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 People do that only because YOU allow them/her to do it. You answered her messages and calls. You honestly think that getting back together would work out in the long run when both of you haven't changed? Stop questioning the reasons why she's being the way she is and accept the fact that she does not want to be with you and go full NC. Stop responding and eating everything she's throwing at you. To her you've been an obedient dog and a backup, so easy for her to get what she wants from you because you let that happen. Start your healing now and forget about her already, it's wasting your time and energy. 4
Author Aries82 Posted August 9, 2015 Author Posted August 9, 2015 Thank you for your reply and great words. I did that and I am feeling really great but also, sometimes, I feel like I put a knife in my chest, because I felt sorry for her, I care for her, but I had enough. Thank you
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