j_mysterio Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 I'm back... So, my ex who blocked me on the phone (reason: her words.... she couldn't talk to me cause she loves me but can't talk to me because we were toxic and shed come back to me) well Tuesday morning I get a random text from her... small talk... and we eventually talked on the phone. I was on pass for military leave and had to leave that next morning... she asked to meet up and I did. Met up for drinks and she told me she broke up with her boyfriend last saturday because she kept thinking about me and she even told him that and his reply was " why cant i fill his shoes? I want to be that person for you". Anyways, she confessed loving me still. Retard me... did the same. Not a break down crying moment lol just a "yes, i love you, the feeling hasnt gone away." Now, she wants to talk as friends and "take things slow" to see what happens and I agreed but I'm not truly sure where I stand. Yes, I ducking love her... but she has lost my trust due to the break up and the the rebound. Weve been small talk texting... im Just looking for advice before I end up back in the same town as her.
darkbloom Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 We talked about this the last time you posted. Have you done any work on yourself? Has she? She broke up with her new guy and is afraid of being alone. She's going slow to keep you on the back burner. You keep jumping on her crazy roller coaster. Stop it. 5
aloneinaz Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 I'm back... So, my ex who blocked me on the phone (reason: her words.... she couldn't talk to me cause she loves me but can't talk to me because we were toxic and shed come back to me) well Tuesday morning I get a random text from her... small talk... and we eventually talked on the phone. I was on pass for military leave and had to leave that next morning... she asked to meet up and I did. Met up for drinks and she told me she broke up with her boyfriend last saturday because she kept thinking about me and she even told him that and his reply was " why cant i fill his shoes? I want to be that person for you". Anyways, she confessed loving me still. Retard me... did the same. Not a break down crying moment lol just a "yes, i love you, the feeling hasnt gone away." Now, she wants to talk as friends and "take things slow" to see what happens and I agreed but I'm not truly sure where I stand. Yes, I ducking love her... but she has lost my trust due to the break up and the the rebound. Weve been small talk texting... im Just looking for advice before I end up back in the same town as her. So, let me see if I understand what you wrote here? Ok, she dumped you and then immediately jumped into bed w/a new guy and spent several months with him. So, she can't be alone apparently. Then, that falls apart (maybe he dumped her and she's lying) and she decides to "settle" and come back to you (until something better comes along) because, again, she can't be alone. So, after all that, you're willing to be her second choice (for how long we don't know) and you're ok with that? I don't know my man, I don't want to ever be anyone's plan b or sloppy seconds, ever.. I'm not trying to be harsh but you REALLY should reconsider what you're doing here. It's not going to have a happy outcome and you have to know that. 2
Gus Grimly Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 Listen to what aloneinaz has said to you. You need to have standards. After you two broke up she immediately found another man to fill your shoes. She didn't really care about you or the relationship. Didn't the fact that you were replaced so quickly after the BU hurt you? Didn't you gain a sense of what kind of persona she truly is? Now she's coming around because she knows you still have feelings for her. No way, get your standards in check and sort out your priorities. Don't be a doormat. 2
SycamoreCircle Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 Sorry OP, but these sort of scenarios never work out. They do work well for How I Got My Ex Back mail order videos and books. You're dealing with an emotionally immature person. Maybe you have some growing to do yourself, too. I don't know your story. But everything you wrote about her indicates that she'll do this again or some variation of it when the two of you get back together. Unfortunately, you have to be a lesson to her. She does love you. But she doesn't have the equipment to love, yet. So play the game as long as you want. Eventually, the hurt has to come. And years from now that final hurt will be one small part of many life lessons that give her the ability to love, wholly and completely. Say goodbye. Go NC. Get to know yourself a little. Move on. 2
foolinlove79 Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 Her replacement rs ended and she's probably bored and lonely and so she contacts you. Obviously she cant tell you that cos youd tell her to f off. These users know how to suck you back in. Dont believe her lies. Your 5 months out so stay strong and keep going. 1
Satu Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 Love or lack of options? Love or dysfunctional attachment? There are many things that people call 'love,' which aren't love at all. Here's a little test: "Love is total commitment to a person's wellbeing." If you can both meet that standard, its love. If you can't, it isn't. 1
Author j_mysterio Posted August 9, 2015 Author Posted August 9, 2015 Thanks a lot guys. I wasn't looking for you all to be like "yeah, you're the man... get in a relationship with her, you guys are in love". You all basically voiced my inner thoughts... I go back and forth between being like well maybe she ****ed up and realized it ya know.. I feel evil not talking to her... like putting out a hurt kitten. Where I'm at now though, fuuuuuuck her. NC it is. I dont neee this shii>iit. 4
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