patriotsgirl Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 (edited) The guy I've been dating for 3 months has mentioned marriage to me. We have great chemistry and he could be the one but I'm a bit concerned about his past relationships. A year and a half ago he got out of a relationship that lasted 3.5 years they lived together and had a dog but never married. He said they broke up bc she was abusive. She has since moved on with a new man (who he calls fat and ugly) and has a baby. He said he thought he loved her but now realizes he never really loved her. He says I'm the only girl he's ever loved. He had a relationship after that before he met me. He was with the girl for 6 months. He never let her meet his parents. He did not want to spend time with her family either. He offered to let her live with him while they were together bc she was going to be evicted from her apartment. He said he is a nice person and doesn't want to see anyone upset and worried about where they will live. She ended up living with her parents and they broke up bc he said he didn't want to go to her parents house to visit her. She tried to see him after the breakup but he told her he wasn't interested. They split 2 months before we met. I can't tell if he is really into me or just trying to fill a void. Maybe he misses having a woman around. Or maybe his misses his ex. He is 30 and his parents have been married for over 30 yrs. They seem like nice people. I feel he wants to be loved on in love. Maybe he is in love with the idea of being in love. Part of me feels he isn't just asking me to live with/marry him bc he's madly in love with me. I feel we have a strong connection I notice he doesn't connect on a certain level with some of his friends maybe that makes him feel lonely. He likes talking to me bc we can talk about anything. I wouldn't be alarmed if he didn't ask his last gf to live with him. Edited August 8, 2015 by patriotsgirl
Qboro90 Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 3 months is way too soon in my opinion to be seriously discussing marriage. This guy has a history of moving fast with women and thus far it hasn't worked out well for him so I question if doing the same with you is really the right idea. If you want to be married someday that's fine to say but let him know that you both need to get to know each other more in order to feel fully confident in taking that big step of marriage. It's not a race, you take marriage seriously and don't want to tell him 3 months in that it's what you see in your futures together without question. Say you hope that it's the case but don't want to put unfair pressure on the relationship by determining that finality so early on. 1
TunaCat Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 Whoa, whoa! 3 months is WAY too early to be discussing marriage. You guys are still in the very early stages of the relationship. Plus he's got a habit of rushing things. That should make you slow down, right there. I dated my ex when we were in high school and he was a big fan of rushing things then. Of course it was his hormones driving him. However, I know his current relationship, he's also rushing things. There have been only 2 relationships that he didn't rush. Our most recent attempt which lasted 3 years. And his ex girlfriend who died 5 1/2 years ago. Your guy sounds like he is one of those guys that has to have a girlfriend constantly. You need to tell him that he's putting way too much pressure on the relationship already. 1
xcupid Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 Way too fast to be talking about marriage. You hardly know each other after 3 months. Give it time and get to know him a LOT better and see if there's compatibility. Just because there's a "connection" and you can talk about anything doesn't mean you're compatible.
RoseVille Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 The way he talks about his exes is a huge red flag. That he's bringing up marriage this early is tantamount to waiving that flag in your face. Can you not see it?
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