chasermcchaser Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 I hang out with this older woman occasionally (mid 40s though I don't know the exact age) and she's awesome; strangely I find myself heavily attracted to her. Old-ish but great look, hilarious personality, no kids and we share a lot of interests. I don't know if a really grounded relationship would work too well due to the age difference but she's definitely someone I'd like to 'get to know better' and I'd like to at least try. I've gone out with 2 or 3 years older at most but this is definitely outside my normal trending grounds. We meetup in a larger group almost weekly at least but I also want to help not making it weird. Help?
mrldii Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 As an older woman, the only advice I'd offer when picking up us older women, is that you make sure you can handle our girth; our bones are more brittle and will sustain more damage iffin you drop us. Oh, and we are too mature for the note-passing, "Do you like me? Check this box for 'yes' and this box for 'no'" that might work on our younger counterparts. Other than those two pointers since we are women, chances are whatever does or doesn't work on younger women will be similar. We may even say, "Sorry...not interested", which may be due to an incompatibility issue which may include the difference in ages... ...but women of all ages have been not interested in men of all ages for eons, and the species has found a way to continue...and flourish. Best of luck to you, OP... 2
LoveRefreshed Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 I'm confused. Older women always have more girth? I'd approach her like any girl. Don't worry about it, be yourself. However, I'd guess you'd have to be more mature than trying to pick up some 22 year old chick. Ask her on a date. It's simple.
mrldii Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 I'm confused. Older women always have more girth?... No, I didn't say - nor even infer - that. I did say our bones are more brittle so we have to be more concerned about whether or not a guy can handle our weight (whether we be 95 pounds or 195 pounds) when picking us up, because we have the propensity to incur more physical damage if they can't.
fitnessfan365 Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 Haha.. In my experience older women like it rough because they tend to be out of boring marriages w-no passion. But as a guy that's dated many older women, my advice is to be direct. Of course, do it in a respectful way. However, older women are at a point in their life where they're a lot more comfortable in their own skin and don't like to beat around the bush. This is actually one reason why I always got along really well w-women older than me. I'm direct and like communication. So there was never any need for that aloof mystery crap. 3
SammySammy Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 No, I didn't say - nor even infer - that. I did say our bones are more brittle so we have to be more concerned about whether or not a guy can handle our weight (whether we be 95 pounds or 195 pounds) when picking us up, because we have the propensity to incur more physical damage if they can't. I think you're joking, but that can be a real concern. When I was 37, 38 ... somewhere in there ... I was teaching a class at a local university. After the class, there would be a line of students waiting to ask me various questions. This one woman was a retiree - I assumed she was at least 65 - made sure she was last in line. After the other students left, she openly propositioned me. Several times ... after several class periods. Of course, I nicely turned her down. The primary reason was that she was still a student though she was older. The secondary reason was I was afraid I'd break that woman. She was small, slim, seemingly in good shape, but ... I wasn't sure she could handle what I might do to her. smh I've never been with a woman more than six years older than me, but I ofter wonder what that would have been like.
elaine567 Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 I hang out with this older woman occasionally (mid 40s though I don't know the exact age) and she's awesome; strangely I find myself heavily attracted to her. Old-ish but great look, hilarious personality, no kids and we share a lot of interests. I don't know if a really grounded relationship would work too well due to the age difference but she's definitely someone I'd like to 'get to know better' and I'd like to at least try. I've gone out with 2 or 3 years older at most but this is definitely outside my normal trending grounds. We meetup in a larger group almost weekly at least but I also want to help not making it weird. Help? I don't know how old you are, but if there is a huge age gap like 15-20 years maybe, then she may think you are joking with her or worse still taking the mickey or even laughing at her or using her as some sort of a cruel practical joke. So make sure she knows you are being deadly serious when you ask her out. Good luck. 1
RebelWithoutACause Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 she's definitely someone I'd like to 'get to know better' Tell her you'd 'like to get to know her better'. Make sure you use the air quotes finger gesture. 2
newmoon Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 not every 'older woman' wants to be a cougar and lots are very uncomfortable with it, just as some men won't date young(er) women either. get to know her as a friend and perhaps you can better gauge her comfort level with the age difference. 1
gaius Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 There's only two potential problems with starting a serious relationship with a woman that much older than you. First, the fact she's probably near or past the point of having children, if that's any kind of concern for you. And second, the fact that some people are uncomfortable with that kind of age gap and you'll probably get some comments or disaproval from certain people, and whether or not you can both deal with that. But the potential to have a raw connection with someone and just be right together really has zip to do with age. =/ Trust me, I know. As far as not making it weird, just treat her like any other woman you want, don't make it weird yourself and there's a good chance that attitude will rub off on her.
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 Speaking as a mature woman dating a man 13 years younger...be yourself. And what I mean by that is don't try to put on a show or be someone you're not for the sake of landing an "older" woman. We've been around a little longer and have seen it all and have no patience for games or bullsh*t. The fact that you socialize together already it awesome and will help a great deal so continue to reinforce your connection until it feels right to make your move. Asking an older woman out shouldn't be any different than asking out someone your own age; confidence is key, sincerity is appreciated and respect is imperative. The combination of all three makes you a gamble worth taking. Good luck. 1
Ppikker Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 Here is another mature woman tossing in her two-cents worth. The fact that you already hang out with her is a bonus. If you are finding yourself heavily attracted to her chances are, she is picking up on that vibe. We may be older, but our radar isn't dead. I look a good 15 years younger than my 59almost60yrs and work with a lot of younger men, sadly married. My point being-if you can get past the numbers thing then go for it. If not, then you'd best get her out of your head and stay friends. You have a good friendship with this woman now. Don't take a chance on ruining it because you think you could handle more and then a little while down the road realize you can't handle the age difference. Just think it through first and be mature about it and end the end have fun. Life is short. 1
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