Alex94 Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 Hi everyone, I'm Alex, 21 years old. I had a great relationship with a 23 year old girl. We were in a relationship for 5 months when she suddenly started to get extremely annoyed by everything I did. And then she dropped the bomb: she still loved me, but wasn't in love with me anymore. She thought she could find a better match that doesn't always forget things. And that we were incompatible. We were in different life stages. Maybe it could work out in a few years she said. So, we broke up and it hurt a lot. I was guessing for the reasons, and then I read about GIGS. She turned 24 just recently and things started to go down after that. I ignored her after the break up and she freaked out completely. Then I told her on the phone that we shouldn't contact each other, and she was okay with that. So, what is wise to do now? Just move on, forget about her completely and find someone else? What I felt with her was really special, I've never had it with anybody else. Should I let her see for herself that what she had was pretty great and in 3 months reinitiate contact? On the other hand, she gave up on me and I don't want to be the backup option. If anyone could help me out, it would be great
Mathematics Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 Sorry to har this Alex. Implemnt the no contact and spend some time healing and moving on
Learningtowalkagain Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 Don't be her 'backup option', you're just setting yourself up for heartbreak. You're hanging on while she plays the field. Move on. You're only 21. I wish I could go back 18 years ago and move on from those kind of relationships better than I did. I look back now and think "why in the world was I upset over HER?!?!". Go complete NC. Delete her phone number, text conversation, and all social media. It's going to hurt to see a photo with her and a guy she's dating. Why put yourself through that pain? It's going to happen. She decided to end the relationship for a reason. Who cares if she's butthurt she hasn't heard from you? Boo friggen hoo. Work on yourself. Go to the gym. Read some books. Hang out with friends. You need support? I chose to talk to my female friends because I'm a guy and I don't want my guy friends to call me a pussy and women understand women better. Post here often. Especially if you feel like contacting her.
Author Alex94 Posted August 8, 2015 Author Posted August 8, 2015 Thanks guys . I wonder though. This love felt so real and we wanted to grow old together (cheesy, I know. And we're so young). What's real about love if after half a year suddenly everything goes cold. Ah well! I'll work on myself and find someone better!
theredpill Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 Go watch Corey Wayne on Youtube, he'll undoubtedly go over the things that you probably did to turn her off. Learn from this and implement the changes in your next relationship. Good luck, moving on is easier than you think.
carhill Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 Heh, she really threw the kitchen sink at you. Scary version, one I've seen a lot in life? A BBD (bigger better deal) came along and the sour milk spewed your way rationalized the move. When you've been down this path many times and are looking back upon it as an older man, it will make more sense and even be mildly amusing. Old fart tip: One, women can blow like the wind. It's not an indictment, rather being human. Two, don't lock in when you have 'feelings', and see no other path. Practice terminating relationships when you don't feel they're valuable to you, whether in the moment or from a more long-term perspective. Right now, I understand that nature is calling you to reproduce so the pull is strong. Time and experience, and practice, will help moderate that pull to align with healthy choices for your life. Breaking up or ending relationships is part of that and, yup, guys have a responsibility in that too. The NC stuff works IMO, in varying degrees depending upon one's psychology. Some guys go out an validate their manhood by hooking up with other women. If that's your path, do that. If you like alone time, do that. If other, do that. Learn your process and follow it. Each man is different. Good luck.
Author Alex94 Posted August 8, 2015 Author Posted August 8, 2015 Go watch Corey Wayne on Youtube, he'll undoubtedly go over the things that you probably did to turn her off. Learn from this and implement the changes in your next relationship. Good luck, moving on is easier than you think. I sort of know what I did wrong. I've thoroughly analyzed everything and learnt from my mistakes. But I spoilt this perfectly fine opportunity, just because I didn't know. I guess we all have to go through this and learn from our mistakes.
Author Alex94 Posted August 8, 2015 Author Posted August 8, 2015 Heh, she really threw the kitchen sink at you. Scary version, one I've seen a lot in life? A BBD (bigger better deal) came along and the sour milk spewed your way rationalized the move. When you've been down this path many times and are looking back upon it as an older man, it will make more sense and even be mildly amusing. Old fart tip: One, women can blow like the wind. It's not an indictment, rather being human. Two, don't lock in when you have 'feelings', and see no other path. Practice terminating relationships when you don't feel they're valuable to you, whether in the moment or from a more long-term perspective. Right now, I understand that nature is calling you to reproduce so the pull is strong. Time and experience, and practice, will help moderate that pull to align with healthy choices for your life. Breaking up or ending relationships is part of that and, yup, guys have a responsibility in that too. The NC stuff works IMO, in varying degrees depending upon one's psychology. Some guys go out an validate their manhood by hooking up with other women. If that's your path, do that. If you like alone time, do that. If other, do that. Learn your process and follow it. Each man is different. Good luck. She told me there really wasn't anyone else that she liked and that caused this to happen. Was she lying? I know she could never tell a lie. The things that frustrates me, is that I was willing to work on things and make it better. She wasn't perfect either and I accepted that. But she was just like 'Meh, **** it. I'm out'.
Clarence_Boddicker Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 Forget her & move on. Most likely she's never going to be in your life again.
carhill Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 She told me there really wasn't anyone else that she liked and that caused this to happen. Was she lying? I know she could never tell a lie. The things that frustrates me, is that I was willing to work on things and make it better. She wasn't perfect either and I accepted that. But she was just like 'Meh, **** it. I'm out'. Brought up in another thread: Women you date aren't your impressions of your mother. They lie. They cheat. They steal. No, not everyone and no not all the time. However, once you let go of your own beliefs and accept things as they are, you'll find a lot less in life bugs you or surprises you. Forget her & move on. Most likely she's never going to be in your life again. Yep, this. Accepting the real.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 It's impossible to know if she's lying about being interested in someone else. The most important thing is that it doesn't change the bottom line, which is that she no longer wishes to be in a relationship with you. 5 months isn't very long, so even though it hurts, it's better for it to have ended now than further down the road when you're more invested. If she was already having doubts after such a short time, it wasn't right. Continue No Contact. Reflect on what you could have done differently so you don't repeat the same things in the future.
singsparkles Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 Hi everyone, I'm Alex, 21 years old. I had a great relationship with a 23 year old girl. We were in a relationship for 5 months when she suddenly started to get extremely annoyed by everything I did. And then she dropped the bomb: she still loved me, but wasn't in love with me anymore. She thought she could find a better match that doesn't always forget things. And that we were incompatible. We were in different life stages. Maybe it could work out in a few years she said. So, we broke up and it hurt a lot. I was guessing for the reasons, and then I read about GIGS. She turned 24 just recently and things started to go down after that. I ignored her after the break up and she freaked out completely. Then I told her on the phone that we shouldn't contact each other, and she was okay with that. So, what is wise to do now? Just move on, forget about her completely and find someone else? What I felt with her was really special, I've never had it with anybody else. Should I let her see for herself that what she had was pretty great and in 3 months reinitiate contact? On the other hand, she gave up on me and I don't want to be the backup option. If anyone could help me out, it would be great Your feelings are valid. Who wouldn't feel like you do in a situation like this? Remember, you are normal. But like everyone else is saying-- be strong, and do not be her back up plan. The problem with women who are indecisive like this is that they always come running back to the ones they tore down (you) ..Take it from me- I used to be that same girl. But that doesn't mean you should give in. Girls like this like having the upper hand. It strokes their ego. I say it's time for you to truly start living your life, no matter how bad it hurts. Trust me, in the end, it will be worth it. You will end up with what you "thought" you had with her and more. Keep busy. Keep your chin up. Know your worth. Know you're also a catch and she's not the only one missing out. Think POSITIVE is key. Positivity attracts many things including people. Once you're happy and have that positivity glow, no one will be able to stop you and you will have your first round pick of women. Trust me. :-) If she can walk away that easy... shes just another brick in the wall. You're young. take some time to grieve if you need it, then... Onto the next. You deserve it. Life is way too short!
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