Lostgirl50 Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 I used to be very positive person. I am for others. Always encouraging the best outcomes will happen. For others. Not myself. I went through a very rough patch where a slew of bad things happened through no fault of mine. Because of this I now am always looking / waiting for the bottom to drop out of my world. For example, I got a job in May. I have been making mistakes. Now, I am thinking any day I will lose my job. My boss has not called me into his office to give me any warning or anything. I have told him of my mistakes before he has discovered them and he has been wonderful about them. But, this nagging feeling is always there. Same feeling is in all aspects of my life. Fear of the future. It is stopping me from enjoying life. I have no idea how to overcome this. Thanks for reading !
StalwartMind Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 I believe that most of us can recognize this feeling, at least to some level, but how we all choose to deal with it is different. In some way it often seems like when you think something bad will happen, you will either directly or indirectly cause it to happen, because of your attitude being negative in the first place. When it then actually does occur, you'll tell yourself "I was right, I knew it" and then you bring yourself down and possibly keep yourself at the bottom of this pit filled with draining emotions. I can't say what is the best way for you to overcome this nagging feeling or ability to make your own fears come true, however to me at least, I've accepted that whatever will happen will happen. A lot of things simply aren't within our control, including how people choose to react, or whatever will be accepted/rejected by others. In other words, there is no point in trying to speculate about things we don't truly know about. Take relationships, if someone believes there partner will leave, but in reality he/she never world, then it's entirely possible due to negative thoughts you'll push that person so far away, that even you may end up leaving said person. Humans can be masters of self destruction which is all the more reason why it's great to surround yourself with positive people and be in such an environment as well. As long as your mind is consumed by fear, negative thoughts, you in a sense prevent yourself from enjoying anything. Non of us know when anything will happen both that which is good and bad. We don't control other people or events, we may be able to influence things partly through personality and skill, but what eventually happens is often based on chance. If you can somehow slowly learn to accept this reality, then perhaps you'll be at peace with more things. Ideally I think it's vital for all of us to set up life in such a way that we find comfort and security, no matter how normal, odd or complex we may perceive things. All that matter is that you tailor your life in such a way that you actually do find a way to get through life, and hopefully while being able to enjoy things too. Life is too short to speculate and worry too much, even if we all do at times. You used to be positive, so you are not unfamiliar to this concept, but perhaps you just lost your way a bout, due to events/mistakes. We all do mistakes, I make mistakes every day, I'll always do. At the same time I also know I do a lot of good, at least what I perceive as being good and I can see this reflected in other people around me too. Our understanding of others and things in general is incredibly varied as well, don't underestimate yourself and others, I'm sure you have many positive things to offer still. Even being able to realize or write a post such as what you did, shows that you have some inner desire which wants you to get better. That at least is a positive indicator of someone not just willing to throw in the towel.
Author Lostgirl50 Posted August 8, 2015 Author Posted August 8, 2015 Exactly. I do believe that negative thoughts can in turn cause what one doesn't want to happen to occur. I am so afraid the result of making errors that I am making them. I had a wonderful safe life up to 2 years ago. Then BOOM ! Everything changed and I don't know if I ever will be happy again. Because of this feeling it is preventing me to be happy. Thank you for your response! Will mull it over more....
Learningtowalkagain Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 I don't know if you're into therapy but I just started Cognitive Behavior Therapy. It's retraining your mind to think positively. For example, I call my friend, don't hear back from him. I think he doesn't like me. In reality he may have been busy, didn't see I called etc. Our thoughts determine our emotions. So learning how to retrain your brain is vital. There's a decent book by David Burns called "Feeling Good". It's not too expensive either. He goes over the 10 types of negative thoughts most of us experience. 2
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