kenmore Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 Hey all, There is a lady (the French lady for anyone who knows) I have dated a few times but it was always business (well it was caused by business but the time spent was 98% personal.) I tried to date her a few times she always had a reason not to go. She always seemed interested but it became apparent she wasn't. Now I'm leaving the area seemingly for good. Even if it's not for good, our business relationship will be coming to an end. I'll most likely never speak with her again. So, the situation is this: when we spoke last week to end our business relationship (I'm her client), she didn't want to just end it (of course) so suggested we have coffee. This week passed (somehow I didn't prioritize it) so tonight she called me to say she needs to know what to do. I'd like to see her one more time before going so rather than just call her and say I'm leaving, I'd like to buy her breakfast and just chat. I know, lame and desperate but I am lonely now and some companionship for an hour or two would be nice. That's all. I don't want to just meet her at a coffee shop and buy her coffee nor Denny's. I want to suggest something more original. Some nice way of meeting her someplace special for our last meeting and having breakfast and coffee. Not her place nor mine, just another idea. A convenient picnic, a park idea. Service would be nice! Any suggestions would be appreciated. I know it's not a big deal and I'm an idiot for giving a crap but I do and it's pretty much one of the very few emotional outlets I have any more. I promise not to force myself on her LOL! Ken
LoveRefreshed Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 (edited) Dude, your location says san diego county. Can you not find something with outdoor seating that serves breakfast? I was in la jolla for 3 days and I found outdoor seating all over. Take her some place classy yet reserved (meaning, take her to a place where 10-15 bucks would get you a coffee and a breakfast). Try using google. OR, meet her for coffee at a park, while drinking the coffee, ask her if she wants to grab a bite to eat. I know you said special, yet at the same time, service. This takes out any original ideas that I can think of. I like to cook, but you excluded either of your pads, so I would suggest a nice cozy restaurant that has a nice view. Maybe something overlooking the ocean (if possible) or something else pleasant. Vineyards sometimes do brunches, could be nice. https://www.google.com/search?q=vinyards+near+san+diego+that+serve+brunch&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8#q=vineyards+near+san+diego+that+serve+brunch Edited August 8, 2015 by LoveRefreshed
sweeeeetie82 Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 I'm pretty sure you can come up with something especially around your area.
Author kenmore Posted August 10, 2015 Author Posted August 10, 2015 Thanks. That search did get me thinking. I'm going to give her a call in the morning because the deadline is coming up for the next printing. Maybe I'll just forget it. I don't need the expense nor potential rejection anyway. It was a stupid idea. I appreciate your help regardless! Ken
jen1447 Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 Why breakfast specifically - is that what she indicated time-wise? Breakfast isn't really the best time for romance and intimacy unless it's a morning after breakfast.
madjac74 Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 Don't give a crap. Just move on. You said she was never interested so why even plan anything at all? 2
Author kenmore Posted August 10, 2015 Author Posted August 10, 2015 She suggested coffee, so my mind went to an early meal. I'd have to agree with madjac, I'm not even sure why I was going there. I guess I wanted to say goodbye, but who cares? This is why I shouldn't be dating now, I'm not making sound decisions.
madjac74 Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 You are a kind soul and had some hope. That is why you were grasping on to one last meeting. You will be fine! 1
jen1447 Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 She suggested coffee, so my mind went to an early meal. I'd have to agree with madjac, I'm not even sure why I was going there. I guess I wanted to say goodbye, but who cares? This is why I shouldn't be dating now, I'm not making sound decisions. Ok, coffee can be any time of day - even evening. Usually it's meant as a go-to-Starbucks moment. As to the why, in your OP you said she invited you, then followed up. So ....blowing her off at this point would be kind of a dick move. It may well be she has no intentions beyond exactly what she stated, just a friendly send-off since you'll never see each other again, and that's perfectly fine and 'fair.' Not everything has to be about sex and romance. Goodbyes like that between friends and acquaintances are normal and in good taste. Blowing ppl off isn't.
Lois_Griffin Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 My god, it's freakin COFFEE for an hour. She didn't ask you to run away to Vegas with her. You're acting like that spaz in the movie Swingers. The one guy FINALLY got a woman's number out at the bar with his buddies, and against his better judgment, got home that night at 2 am and decided to leave her a message because he knew she wasn't home yet. He ended up leaving all these OCD messages - one after the other - and by the 15th message he'd gone totally off the rails claiming he's not ready for a relationship and maybe they should stop seeing each other. Just stop with the drama and overthinking and meet her for a lousy cup of coffee. Jeez.
wb1988 Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 How is it a "last date" when you never even had a first? Or do you call it the first & last date? You go see her, you chat, then you go home. It sounds like there is no chance of you ****ing her. It's a waste of time. Also the fact that you're focusing so much on the location and being 'original' just says that there probably isn't much between the two of you even if she wasn't leaving.
rester Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 I don't know the back story, but what I am getting from this thread is that she is a consultant of yours that you have asked out on a date and she has declined your invitations. That would leave me to believe that this last meeting is purely business related, despite the possibility of personal things being discussed. If that's the case, I would take her to lunch. I've been in these situations with consultants (both men and women) many times. Basically, it's a friendly good-bye that relieves some of the stress caused by the working relationship that you two have had. In my opinion, breakfast is too personal. I don't know many people in the working world that go to breakfast with clients during the work week, and I wouldn't suggest asking her out over the weekend. Take her to lunch, enjoy it, and wish her luck with the future. Keep it professional.
NopeNah Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 In my opinion, breakfast is too personal. I don't know many people in the working world that go to breakfast with clients during the work week, and I wouldn't suggest asking her out over the weekend. Take her to lunch, enjoy it, and wish her luck with the future. Keep it professional. This. The only times I've had breakfast with clients is if we've been out all night.
Author kenmore Posted August 23, 2015 Author Posted August 23, 2015 We had our coffee. The back story is we have seen each other four times before this and each time we talked for hours. It's always a great time for us both but she never accepted any of my dates even though she said several times that she'd "like to." And once again, it was another great time! We spoke for hours. We both looked great. We looked like a couple from out of a magazine. It was awesome in every way and it just left me baffled again why she resisted getting closer so much. Well, it goes into the "nice memory" file now. Into the archives, directly. Thanks for all your thoughts and suggestions! That was nice. Ken 1
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