AriesGirl803 Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 Ok, so met this guy via OLD. Went on three dates/meet ups/whatever you want to call them. He comes off as a really nice, sweet guy. Nice and more clean cut than what I usually go for, but I actually really enjoy it for a change. Anyhoo, I had planned on holding out on sex just to get to know him more, etc. I even postponed the third date because it seemed things were going too quickly. I was honest about it and told him this needs to slow down. My famous last words I guess lol.... cause I couldn't resist and slept with him after the third date. I've already decided i don't regret it no matter what happens I did what I felt in the moment, whatever. Didnt talk too much the next day (this past Wednesday) then Thursday I didn't hear from him at all, until 10:45 PM asking if I wanted to come over and have some drinks so we could see each other before he goes out of town this weekend. He even said he was otw home from a bar. Clearly a booty call. I didn't call him out on it or react like a "crazy" girl would I just very sweetly explained that I was tired and we could get together after the weekend. I almost kind of thought I'll kill him with kindness see how he reacts bahahaa. I'm just wondering if maybe this guy played me, took me on a couple dates and now just wants me as a booty call. Will this likely continue on as that? Should i be done with it now (I dont want that) or should I wait and see how it plays out when he gets back? See if he still makes actual plans, etc? Or am I just over analyzing the whole thing? Which I tend to do. I honestly wouldn't even have been that irked if he had tried to plan it earlier in the day but just the way it panned out rubbed me the wrong way.
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 (edited) First, you're over analyzing things a bit which will drive you mental. You already said you planned to sleep with him and decided you weren't going to regret it regardless of how it turned out so...why are you fretting about it now? Second, if you feel like you've been played or if he continues to treat you in a way that does not feel comfortable to you or inline with what you want then TALK to him about it. Sitting back, over analyzing every detail and worse, playing games trying to smoke him out is just irresponsible and a tad immature. Don't be that girl. Third and most importantly, if you're not interested in being his booty call then close up the shop STAT! You have the control. Stop giving it up hoping he'll come around and be the man you want him to be. Taking sex off the table, at least temporarily, will no doubt reveal his true colors. As Patty Stanger says, "No sex before monogamy!" If nothing else, that might be the lesson you take away from this experience. Good luck. Edited August 8, 2015 by Michelle ma Belle 2
katiegrl Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 Ok, so met this guy via OLD. Went on three dates/meet ups/whatever you want to call them. He comes off as a really nice, sweet guy. Nice and more clean cut than what I usually go for, but I actually really enjoy it for a change. Anyhoo, I had planned on holding out on sex just to get to know him more, etc. I even postponed the third date because it seemed things were going too quickly. I was honest about it and told him this needs to slow down. My famous last words I guess lol.... cause I couldn't resist and slept with him after the third date. I've already decided i don't regret it no matter what happens I did what I felt in the moment, whatever. --------- *******Didnt talk too much the next day (this past Wednesday) then Thursday I didn't hear from him at all, until 10:45 PM asking if I wanted to come over and have some drinks so we could see each other before he goes out of town this weekend. He even said he was otw home from a bar. Clearly a booty call.****** --------- I didn't call him out on it or react like a "crazy" girl would I just very sweetly explained that I was tired and we could get together after the weekend. I almost kind of thought I'll kill him with kindness see how he reacts bahahaa. I'm just wondering if maybe this guy played me, took me on a couple dates and now just wants me as a booty call. Will this likely continue on as that? Should i be done with it now (I dont want that) or should I wait and see how it plays out when he gets back? See if he still makes actual plans, etc? Or am I just over analyzing the whole thing? Which I tend to do. I honestly wouldn't even have been that irked if he had tried to plan it earlier in the day but just the way it panned out rubbed me the wrong way. Based on your third paragraph (him contacting you at 10:45 PM asking you to drive to his), I would say that yea, he sees you as a booty call (and not much more), sorry . I would not, however, say he *played* you since he made no promises to you, did not lead you on ...... you were a willing participant. Once a guy perceives you a certain way, it's difficult, of not impossible, to flip it around. You can try taking sex off the table, and see if he sticks around. You have nothing to lose by doing that...I wouldn't bother asking him what he wants, if he only wants the booty, I highly doubt he's gonna admit that....and you've only had three dates. Show him by your actions, you're not THAT type of girl ..... either he will start treating you respectfully by taking you on proper dates, or he won't. This contacting you at 10:45 wanting you to drive to see him (for sex no doubt) is bullshyt. Good luck! 2
Author AriesGirl803 Posted August 8, 2015 Author Posted August 8, 2015 Thanks guys. I definitely will be taking it off the table. He said he didn't want to just hook up he wanted to see if things blossomed or whatever as we got to know each other. Of course we don't know each other yet and I know any guy isn't going to admit that that's all he wants. I suppose if he continues to make late night and last minute plans I'll keep saying no and be done with it on to the next. And next time I guess I'll need a better method of resisitance LOL. 2
qubist Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 Thanks guys. I definitely will be taking it off the table. He said he didn't want to just hook up he wanted to see if things blossomed or whatever as we got to know each other. Of course we don't know each other yet and I know any guy isn't going to admit that that's all he wants. I suppose if he continues to make late night and last minute plans I'll keep saying no and be done with it on to the next. And next time I guess I'll need a better method of resisitance LOL. fore sure he was calling for your booty at 10:45 PM. but let me tell you something about guys ( I'm one of them)take it as an advise, if a man ever tells you that he wants to date and has no sexual intention he is LYING. it is normal when you date a guy that he sees the sex side of you don't get offended by that it is only bad if that's the only side he sees in you. you did the right thing by rejecting his booty call without accusing him. if he really wants you he will reach out to you again. whether with this guy or any future dates, understand that guy's perspective is different than women's. a lot of us are predators that are there just for the sex but even the good ones are interested in it too. so bottom line DO never give it up unless that's what you want and make sure you are enjoying too otherwise do no do it
SoleMate Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 This contacting you at 10:45 wanting you to drive to see him (for sex no doubt) is bullshyt. +1000 Unbelievable.....booty call is supposed to mean he calls on you at your place, not that he calls you up and tells you to come over. So this is like an extra-insulting form of come-on. IMO. 1
phineas Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 First, you're over analyzing things a bit which will drive you mental. You already said you planned to sleep with him and decided you weren't going to regret it regardless of how it turned out so...why are you fretting about it now? Second, if you feel like you've been played or if he continues to treat you in a way that does not feel comfortable to you or inline with what you want then TALK to him about it. Sitting back, over analyzing every detail and worse, playing games trying to smoke him out is just irresponsible and a tad immature. Don't be that girl. Third and most importantly, if you're not interested in being his booty call then close up the shop STAT! You have the control. Stop giving it up hoping he'll come around and be the man you want him to be. Taking sex off the table, at least temporarily, will no doubt reveal his true colors. As Patty Stanger says, "No sex before monogamy!" If nothing else, that might be the lesson you take away from this experience. Good luck. Taking sex off the table after sex has already happened to test a man has never ended well for any woman I've known to do it. No man I know would stick around after a woman pulled that stunt. Whether he actually liked her or not it's a major turn off when women play those types of games.
Ruby Slippers Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 He's letting you know loud and clear that he doesn't feel any desire or motivation to woo and impress you. I'd drop him, as the "relationship" is not going to recover from this. I think it's always smart to wait a while for sex, though I think that if a guy really likes you, early sex is unlikely to deter him. I made out with my boyfriend on the second date and had sex with him within a few weeks, and he only became more attentive and loving. You hear this story often. You also hear the opposite story, where after sex, the guy loses interest in anything but sex. So I think it's more about how that guy feels about that girl than anything. If you're his dream girl, he'll be over the moon to have sex with you fast and lock you down. If not, he'll just try to milk you for all he can. Regardless of when sex occurs. My trick for reining in my sizable drive and desire is to not shave my lady bits and to wear unsexy panties. That always stops me from going further than I want to 1
JADIE Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 My trick for reining in my sizable drive and desire is to not shave my lady bits and to wear unsexy panties. That always stops me from going further than I want to THIS! I throw in not shaving legs & pits too when I'm REALLY struggling. God forbid he gets a view of pit stubble! 1
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