Eternal Sunshine Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 I LOVE transparency in both, personal and business life. There is probably no greater turn off to me than that lack of transparency that implies lack of trust. I got a work colleague and also a friend involved in a project I was working on. I was in a mentorship role to him and spent a lot of my time in hands on supervision which I didn't mind. I was involved in the project from the design stages and was there from the very first meeting. I got my friend involved at the very end. He ended up making 1 table of results and sent it to the principal investigator - table that took less than 30 minutes of work and I didn't mind at all making. He never told me that he was going to do that and when I was sent the next draft of the manuscript, principal investigator pushed me down the author list and listed my friend before me. I was pissed I composed an email to the principal investigator with logical points on how much work I put in (intellectually, time wise and output wise) and didn't say anything about my friend except that I think I should have kept my original author spot. For the sake of transparency, I CC-ed in my friend in the email. Principal investigator was very apologetic, agreed with all my points and said he was glad I communicated to him rather than built up resentment. He also returned me to the original author spot. My friend didn't say anything but has since defriended me from FB and has stopped talking to me, telling anyone who wants to listen how I "freak out over anything" and am a "back stabber" and other negative things about me. What the hell? I actually think if I just went behind his back to the principal investigator he wouldn't have reacted that way. And isn't he the back stabber for trying to slip into the spot above me? I actually have no regrets and think that I just didn't let myself and my work and time be used and abused.
writergal Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 I LOVE transparency in both, personal and business life. There is probably no greater turn off to me than that lack of transparency that implies lack of trust. I got a work colleague and also a friend involved in a project I was working on. I was in a mentorship role to him and spent a lot of my time in hands on supervision which I didn't mind. I was involved in the project from the design stages and was there from the very first meeting. I got my friend involved at the very end. He ended up making 1 table of results and sent it to the principal investigator - table that took less than 30 minutes of work and I didn't mind at all making. He never told me that he was going to do that and when I was sent the next draft of the manuscript, principal investigator pushed me down the author list and listed my friend before me. I was pissed I composed an email to the principal investigator with logical points on how much work I put in (intellectually, time wise and output wise) and didn't say anything about my friend except that I think I should have kept my original author spot. For the sake of transparency, I CC-ed in my friend in the email. Principal investigator was very apologetic, agreed with all my points and said he was glad I communicated to him rather than built up resentment. He also returned me to the original author spot. My friend didn't say anything but has since defriended me from FB and has stopped talking to me, telling anyone who wants to listen how I "freak out over anything" and am a "back stabber" and other negative things about me. What the hell? I actually think if I just went behind his back to the principal investigator he wouldn't have reacted that way. And isn't he the back stabber for trying to slip into the spot above me? I actually have no regrets and think that I just didn't let myself and my work and time be used and abused. Well, these things happen when you involve friends with your work. I think your mistake was to cc your friend on that email to the principal investigator where you complained that your friend got more credit than you did. It's possible that it hurt your friend's feelings to read that you were mad he got credit where you were supposed to. I don't know. I'm just guessing. I don't think you are a backstabber or that you freaked out over anything. I think you had a legitimate concern. But you should have kept your concern limited to the investigator and not cc'd your friend. Then the mistake would have been fixed without your friend knowing what happened. Since he did it as a favor to you, he probably wasn't expecting much in return. So I can see both sides. If you already apologized to your friend for cc'ing him on the email, then I think that's all you can do, because it did create a misunderstanding for him. Let him cool off, and then try to talk to him again at another point. If he is a good friend, he'll forgive you for making that mistake (cc'ing him on your complaint that involved him -- he thinks you blame him maybe).
applej4 Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 1)Mixing friendships and coworkers is usually not a smart thing.2)You didn’t make a mistake cc’ing him. Now he knows. To be honest I think sending an email to higher up complaining about the order in which your name was listed was very petty.3)Getting unfriended on FB is not the end of the world – or at least it shouldn’t be.4)Put it behind you and move on.
RoseVille Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 It's not backstabbing BUT I do think that your freak out was petty and unwarranted, and it would have served you better to allow his name to be above yours. 1
Banker Chick Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 Couple of questions ES: *Did your friend request his name be listed above yours? *What are the ramifications of his name being listed first? Professional recognition? Possible future job opportunities? I can see where you'd feel slighted but I can also see where he might feel it was petty, especially if he didn't do anything malicious and his name being bumped up was not his request. 1
preraph Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 I LOVE transparency in both, personal and business life. There is probably no greater turn off to me than that lack of transparency that implies lack of trust. I got a work colleague and also a friend involved in a project I was working on. I was in a mentorship role to him and spent a lot of my time in hands on supervision which I didn't mind. I was involved in the project from the design stages and was there from the very first meeting. I got my friend involved at the very end. He ended up making 1 table of results and sent it to the principal investigator - table that took less than 30 minutes of work and I didn't mind at all making. He never told me that he was going to do that and when I was sent the next draft of the manuscript, principal investigator pushed me down the author list and listed my friend before me. I was pissed I composed an email to the principal investigator with logical points on how much work I put in (intellectually, time wise and output wise) and didn't say anything about my friend except that I think I should have kept my original author spot. For the sake of transparency, I CC-ed in my friend in the email. Principal investigator was very apologetic, agreed with all my points and said he was glad I communicated to him rather than built up resentment. He also returned me to the original author spot. My friend didn't say anything but has since defriended me from FB and has stopped talking to me, telling anyone who wants to listen how I "freak out over anything" and am a "back stabber" and other negative things about me. What the hell? I actually think if I just went behind his back to the principal investigator he wouldn't have reacted that way. And isn't he the back stabber for trying to slip into the spot above me? I actually have no regrets and think that I just didn't let myself and my work and time be used and abused. Yes. He's a climber. One thing you have to learn about work is you're not really friends because when it comes down to it, people at work will betray you to try to give themselves the advantage. You did the right thing busting him out in the open It's he who is now not being professional. At the very least, he owned you a professional apology. He could have even just lied and said he didn't mean it to seem that way or whatever, but no, he didn't even do that. Your only obligation now is to be professional to him at work.
Ariadne Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 Sounds like your friend is very sneaky and wants to take your job or at least move up the ladder. The report he sent the PI was probably not the first one, and the reason the PI moved him up was probably because by now he must have thought your friend is in charge of the whole thing. Good going talking to the PI, and your friend seems to be trying to bring you down in different ways now.
Tayla Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 luckily the saying 'all is fair in love and war 'doesn't apply to work ethics and delegations. You handled it professionally. Bravo for making key points in the overall tasks. ! IT WAS BACKSTABBING on the part of the other employee. Glad you got to smell the roses and not be left with thorns. Live and learn in the professional world. One doesn't have to be cut throat to get ahead , integrity is key ,as is fairness.
mrldii Posted August 8, 2015 Posted August 8, 2015 ...What the hell? I actually think if I just went behind his back to the principal investigator he wouldn't have reacted that way. And isn't he the back stabber for trying to slip into the spot above me?... I agree and, based on all that you'd written, agree with the way you handled it. The writer in me has a huge problem with people who claim others' ideas/words/creations as their own; I detest plagiarism in any form. I wouldn't worry about the lost *friendship*, though I would keep a (professional) eye on him and keep him at a (professional) arm's length. Best of luck to you, OP...
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted August 9, 2015 Author Posted August 9, 2015 It wasn't petty because it has big implications for both of us. With my name above his, this publication counts towards my track record in my next fellowship application. Same for him. With my name below his, it doesn't count. (nothing to do with his name, just the positioning on the manuscript). Granted, I don't know if he specifically asked for his name to move up but he DID push himself into the final stages of the project where he wasn't involved in any way before. What I did is just make sure that I got the credit for the work *I* actually did. There is nothing for me to apologize for. 3
Els Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 I don't think it's petty at all to complain about the ordering - 1st author vs 2nd author is a huge deal in academia. I think she was right to set things straight, even though I don't know what the tone of the email was or if it could have been more tactful. I'd just try to move on, ES. If he doesn't want to be friends with you, well, that's his problem. 2
carhill Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 Expect it to happen throughout life. Back-stabbing I mean. I tend to look at it, since I'm a man and used to it, as 'competition'. Not everyone plays by the rules and everyone plays to win. No props for second best. Perhaps that seems a bit harsh for a more gentrified profession like academia but I've seen it across every business I've interfaced with in life. Do what's best for you and move on, unapologetically. Will you make enemies in life? Yes! It's all part of success. 2
angel.eyes Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 Not petty at all if you're in academia or the sciences! You had to say something. The best defense is a good offense. He tried to look like he played a bigger role in the project than he actually did by sending his 30 minutes of work directly to the PI. His maneuver(s) worked! He got bumped up in the author order. Once he recognized that you realized what he had tried, he turned around and accused you of being the back stabber. That takes the focus of his behavior and has you distracted and back pedaling to defend yourself to others. I would have spoken directly with the PI and made it a friendly conversation rather than a blunt email exchange of logic about why the PI was wrong. You want to win the war, not just the battle. Unless you have tenure, likeability and being politically savvy factor into the opportunities that come your way, the strength of the recommendations you receive, and your career success. I would drop it now. You got the author order reinstated. Don't continue to gripe about what he did and why he's wrong now that you got what you wanted. The real lesson here is that he's not someone you want as a collaborator on other projects. He's not a friend. He's an opportunist. 2
Hawaii51 Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 Very unwarranted, especially if it wasn't going to make or break anyone's career. High EGO emissions. 2
rester Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 My opinion is that this would have been handled better by speaking with the friend first, and then going to the supervisor in person. It could very well have been a misunderstanding, and writing an email and CCing your friend was passive aggressive and conflict avoidant. All of this could possibly have been avoided by speaking with the two people involved rather than putting it in writing behind your friend's back. Transparency with your friend would have been to have told her/him what you planned to do. If this was just a misunderstanding by your supervisor, you would have given your friend the chance to clear things up himself/herself. By writing that email, you didn't even give your friend the opportunity to fix the problem. 1
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted August 10, 2015 Author Posted August 10, 2015 Very unwarranted, especially if it wasn't going to make or break anyone's career. High EGO emissions. What the hell? How do you even know what will make and break someone's career? Am I supposed to let people use me and take credit for my work and only speak up when I am sure that something will "make or break my career"?
Haydn Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 I work in a highly competitive and creative industry. People are always trying to take credit for `our` work. Friends within the industry have no compunction at attempting to `lift` ideas. Retribution is swift and contracts are lost. You did the right thing. Don`t let anyone `piggyback` on your work. 3
jen1447 Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 It doesn't sound like backstabbing. As to your friend/colleague, that all depends on his motivation, which none of us know, but it's not at all uncommon for sneaky professionals to sneak around. I know a few ppl who'll blatantly do that - without having put any effort in. They're generally unapologetic and I sometimes wonder if they're so indoctrinated in that life that they don't even understand what they're doing or how it's fundamentally wrong to steal things.
Ruby Slippers Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 You did the right thing. One of the things I learned early in my professional life is that you have to make sure you're given proper credit for your work accomplishments. Sometimes you even have to advertise them. This is not my style, but if you want raises, promotions, and other benefits, it's part of the deal. If you don't, there will always be a long line of people all too ready to take credit for your work. Talking crap about you after your fair, transparent communication was low. I wouldn't associate with this person any longer, any more than you have to for work. And don't worry about the crap he's talking. Anyone with a brain will be able to see that he's the trouble-maker. 3
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