yingggyang Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 My girlfriend of 4 years (we have lived together for 2 shes 22 im 21) just broke up with me out of the blue. to back up a little bit; we had planed a trip to las vegas along with my family since around april. to me at least nothing seemed out of the ordinary. she suffers from depression and anxiety but we have gotten through that, at least I thought. so about a few weeks prior to the trip I noticed she had been a little extra depressed than usual so I asked her what was wrong. she replied that she was just feeling her depression but just a little worse than before. I held her and let her know that I was there for her and that shes a strong woman. about a week after that I had asked if she was still happy with us and she replied; "yes you make me happy and youre so sweet, IM just not happy lately" and she stated that she was waiting for college to start up again so she could go to the counseling there and get help. I said that I am very glad you are happy with me but that s unfortunate that you cant get counseling any sooner. then fast forward about 4 or 5 days we start packing and leaving for vegas. once we were in vegas we both(or I at least felt like we both) had a really good time. we would be in vegas for about 4 days. we even made love a couple times while on the trip. then we fly back and get home and unpack and let the jet lag and travel fatigue set in so we just relaxed together and cuddled. the next day we were both off of work so we had the whole day together and decided to hang out with friends and give souveniers. we ended the night in bed with a goodnight kiss and cuddling. the next day she got up for work and forgot to do her make up so she asked me to bring it in for her before I go into work. I dropped it off and went to work and then she texts me later saying she was sorry I had to wake up early and that she was crabby about it. I told her it was no problem and I hope her day gets better. then about two hours into my shift she texts and asks if im happy with us; I replied of course I am, granted somedays may be better than others but im very much in love with you and think we make a great couple. then she replied "I don't feel the same as we used to, its been stressing me out and I feel like puking." I replied im sorry youre upset about it and that you have felt this way but we should talk after work. so after work she asked what I was thinking and I said I was just thinking about what you had said. she then repeated it to me and said that she also feels like she needs to really work on herself and figure out her future because she will be graduationg college and most likey have to go to a grad school far away. and she said she is confused about everything in the future and wants to figure it out by herself but has no idea what to do. so she said she was breaking up with me. I was devastated and did not see this coming. she told me that I had been the best thing that has happened to her and she felt miserable that she hurt me so badly. she also added "and im not saying anythings for sure, but who knows if later down the road we can try again; im not asking you to wait for me because that would be unfair" we had talked before about her finding herself and figure out herself and i have given her all the space she has needed to do that so I was confused as to why we had to break up. so anyways now im moving all of my stuff out of our house and moving back with my parents. we haven't talked since the breakup happened and that was 3-4 days ago. I feel like I got no REAL explination and that it blindsided me that it just came up out of nowhere. so I guess im just asking what does everybody think and any suggestions as to what to do?
Chi townD Posted August 7, 2015 Posted August 7, 2015 Well, if she's telling you that she's "confused", that usually means that she's confused about her feelings for you and for someone else. There could be a possibility she was cheating on you or is interested in someone else. Could explain why she was always snappy and crabby with you. Flying off the handle for no reason. Because she need to demonize you in her head to justify her feelings and attraction for someone else. Plus, it makes it easier to break up with you if she's constantly mad at you. Another "red flag" for me is when she broke up with you, she told you not to wait for her. Essentially tell you to start dating other girls. Now, if she was in love with you and still cares about you she wouldn't encourage you to have another woman in your arms. That would hurt her too much to know that. Unless she already has or is going to be in another mans arms. It would ease her guilt knowing that you had someone else while SHE'S with someone else. Now, you can confront her with this, but you're never going to get the truth. And after a while you find out that there is, indeed, another guy, you're STILL not going to get the truth. She'll tell you things like, "Nothing happened between me and new guy while we were together." and "He isn't the reason why we broke up" So, that's a lost cause. Sorry dude. But, I think it's time to move on. Time to start a strict NC and make positive changes in your life. Time to heal dude.
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