If the signals are too ambiguous play it safe

[armchair200]

There's this one woman at work who works in a different department than I do. For the last 3-4 months she would kind of go out of her way to initiate conversation with me. I don't really read into that because I figure she is just being friendly and some coworkers are just social animals and like to talk.

 

Then last week she makes it a point to tell me she is going on her lunchbreak and offers to buy me something. I politely declined her offer.

 

This is where her behavior is ambiguous. Here's the thing. I have no interest in dating her whatsoever. I don't know what her intentions were behind offering to buy me lunch but just in case there's a chance that she was subtly trying to hit on me I hope that my declining her offer communicated to her clearly that I'm not interested. Therefore she can't accuse me of leading her on or encouraging her in any way. If I accepted her offer then there's room for me to be accused of leading her on. If her intentions were just being friendly and considerate then I still have not hurt anybody by declining her offer.

 

Then 2 days later she asks me to buy her a drink which I did. It was only a 2$ soda so it is harmless. It isn't going to break my bank account.

 

Still I think that if a woman is giving me too ambiguous signals and I'm not interested it is best to play it safe by discouraging her right off the bat such as not letting her buy me any drinks or lunches.

 

Besides my lack of interest in her she is off limits anyway because she has a boyfriend and 1 child. So even if I was interested in her I'd have to forget about it because of the present circumstances. I don't want kids and women with kids are off limits unless I am willing to step up to the plate and be a stepfather.

[armchair200]

If a woman is not being direct in expressing her interest in me then I don't have a moral obligation to be direct in expressing low interest but I do have a moral obligation to express lack of interest indirectly such as not initiating conversation and not accepting lunches or drinks. I have not initiated any talks with her and I have never encouraged any exclusive activites with her.

[PaperCrane]

There's no morality involved anyways.

 

You either like her or you don't, and she either likes you or she doesn't.

 

Either way, someone has to decide if it is worth it to make a move. If it's accepted, good to go on seeing if they're a match. If not, move on.

 

Easy peasy.

[Gloria25]

What's your point?

 

If you're not interested in her, who cares if she is giving "ambiguous" signals or not?

 

Or is it that you secretly like her too, but won't admit it because you wanna be sure she's into you too?

 

So, who's this one? Your 58 yr old crush or some other chick?